Bands that don't exist...but should.

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REM Speedwagon, Boston Turner Overdrive, Frank Zappanatra, Captain Beefcardigans, Depeche Moby!, Aimee Mann Halen, Anthrax Twin, George Michael Jackson, Lynyrd Skynny Puppy, Moody Blues Traveller (Featuring Leann BUSTA Rimes), DMXTC!, U2B40, Olivia Newton Bjork!, Backstreet Boyz in the Hood, Milli Vanilla Ice, Rick James Brown, Pearl Jamiroquoi...
And of course Collective Soul Asylum
and lets not forget Cold & Play!

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also appearing: The Nickelback Street Boys, Husker Duran Duran and Carole King Crimson.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh..sorry...misread that. It's actually Carole KORN Crimson.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You missed Wu Tang Clannad.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yep, sounds like Band Collision to me!

― Sean Carruthers, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

billy ray cyprus hill?

― commonswings, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

billy ray cyprus hill?
Naw...more like Garth Brooks & Dunn.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Subthread...
Taking Sides: White Sabbath vs Black Zombie!

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

TranslatOrbitAlice CoopEarth Wind and FIrene Cara

― Dave225, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Subthread 2...
Taking Sides: Siouxsie & the Bad Seeds vs Nick Cave & the Banshees!

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No...here's the Ultimate: Marilyn Hanson.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

factory goes country with the flying durutti column?

― commonswings, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Residents of the United States of America

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hefn*e*r*d*

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always been partial to Chumbawambambaataa.

― Andy K, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rotting Christians

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'NSlint

The Sensational P.J. Harvey Milk Band

Jesus and Mary-Jane Girls Against Boys of the Lough

Clinic Cave

― briania, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Innerpace-man Free Colours Red Manofwarm Jets to Brazil

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

placebo diddly? van morrison der graaf generator?

― commonswings, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

flying chemical brothers, Jon Bon Prince Billie, Queens of the Stone Roses

― brains, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

dimmunitive beatles break up avant gardist country band poco ono?

― commonswings, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

and: pop will eat world, the MC Jackon 5

― brains, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Revolting BuzzCocksteau Twins

― Alex in NYC, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nirvanagoogoo

― very, very sorry, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always been partial to ChumbaWHAM!ba

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always been partial to ChumbaWHAM!ba
Erykah BaduCompany, Eric Clashton, Tears for Fear Factory, Alanis Morrisebadoh.
And of course...ACDC&C Music Factory

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Go-Go Dolls

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Grateful Dead Kennedys

The Pointer Sisters of Mercy

The James Gang of Four Tops

― Alex in NYC, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nirvana goo-go dolls

― Dave225, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Talk Talking Heads

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Vanilla Ice Cube.

Jay Kay Z.

Moby Dick (Richard) Astley.

― Ronan, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Creed Clearwater Revival?

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought these were bands that SHOULD exist?

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I answered this question in an old essay of mine, suggesting:

Kommune: They're Kraftwerk on a commune. They record naked like Faust. They can hear the sound of yoghurt fermenting (that's a slow sound, man) and they know how to reproduce it on an Arp Odyssey.

Infodeco: They make glitch folk. They combine 'Klick' by Thomas Brinkmann with micro-fragments of the Steeleye Span back catalogue. Horton processes shit through a broken Waldorf Pole filter. Midge twangs on a prepared sitar.

Arthur ASCII: He's a HAL 9000 Series computer with the repertoire of an old limey vaudevillian. Please remember that the HAL 9000 Series is infallible. It does not sing any mistaken songs or tell jokes which fail to be funny. Heavy.

Cantronic: They're where Can meets Cantonese opera. They're my favourite caterwaul, a sine wave waterfall, with a few bongs and bashes thrown in. They wear a lot of pink and white make up on their skin.

The weird thing is that I then discovered The Gongs, a group who incarnate almost all of these suggestions. Of course, I signed them up immediately.

― Momus, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What SHOULD exist is a band doing clever Canterbury-esque prog-blooze fronted by a model-gorgeous alterna-babe:

Juliana Hatfield and the North Mississippi All-Stars

― briania, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And you will know us by our trail of dead Kennedys

― Billy Dods, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

13th Floor Elevator To Hell

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ziggy Stardust and The Mean Red Spiders From Mars

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I Mother Earth, Wind & Fire
Buck65Cherry
Guns & Stone Roses
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Canadians
Bryan Adams Sandler

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any answer here that forces you to pronounce it out loud is great, therefore Andy K. wins.

― Vinnie, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Courtney Love and Bottle Rockets From the Crypt

The REMplacements

― j.lu, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Good point, Tracer. Beth Gibbons + Herbie Hancock = Portisheadhunters?

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BG needs to front some jazz classix for sure.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Creed Clearwater Revival?
Naw. Creed Everclearwater Revival!

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This lumping is convenient as it will make pushing them all into a pond that much easier.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Guitar terror for soccor moms who own only 12 CDs: Drive Like Jehootie & the Blowfish
Ambitious barnyard angst: Radioheadless Chickens

― Curt, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marvin Gay Dad is Dead, Ron T. Rexsmith, Godz is my Co-Pilot, Half Japan, Piano Magic Hour, Yo Yo Ma Tengo, Dirty Quickspacemen 3, Smogital, Smogwai, Ui N.K.L.E, James & Mary Chance, Hawkwindy & Carl, The Dickietators, Jethro Lull, Sugarcub, Einsturzende Neu!, Tangerine Dreamies, Yellow Magic Orchestral Maneauvers in the Dark, Pete Zorn, Big Starflyer 59, Bruce Haacksteen, Laurie Ray Anderson, Cabbage Tackhead, Pan Sonic Musical Youth, Harold BudDiddley, Roy Orb, Harry Partchraidge Family, Gyorky Laraaji, Sigur Roxy Music, David Bowery Elektric Music, Hope Sandopal, Melt Bananarama, Lowmus, Living in a Colourbox, Mr. Bangles, Chaka Ali Akbar Khan, Go-Go-Betweens, Madonnaness, Pet Dead Boys, Iggy Pop Will Eat Himself, Raincoats Parade, Ramoneantics, Burning Spear of Destiny, Sugar Hill Cubes, Taco Taco, Wire of Voodoo, Dead Kennedy Dance. I did way too many.

― A Nairn, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Good. Good. But you forgot the Tom Petty Shop Boys, Lenny Kraftzwerk, Guns'n'Stone Roses, Metalliconsolidated and Alice Cooper in Chains.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not to mention the most horrible idea ever: Billy Hole.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And the 4 Toploaders.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

WU-TANG ALL STARS: Inspectah Beck, Ghostface Killdozer, Ol' Dirty Vegas and Crystal Method Man.

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, and Stevie Rae Kwon.

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Billy Hole!

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah. Billy Hole is a pretty damned creepy idea. A hermaphroditic junkie lounge singer who loves to randomly scream obscenities and fall off hir stool.
And imagine crossing that Billy Joels annoying coif with that dustmop of straw Courtney Love claims is her hair?

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well he did the cover layout for a Cramps album so your description actually sounds pretty accurate.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh my gawd. Billy Hole IS Lux Exterior. And when (s)he gets married she will be Lux Exterior-Laytex.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ben Folds Five For Fighting

― rat, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ben Folds Five For FOO Fighting

― Alex in NYC, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

JORGE Ben Folds Folds Five For Foo Fighting.

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whoops. One "Folds" too many.

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

minutemen without hats, pat benatari teenage riot, drive like jehootie and the blowfish, dinosaur jr. mafia

― christopher, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

turn up the mobb deep purple!

― arc, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

CorMegadeth, JuliaNas Hetfield, Yoko Bono, Rick D. James, Fauster Pussycat, Kool Momus Deee-Lite, Electric Light Arkestra, Velvet Underground Resistance, Missy Elliot Smith, Jim Morrissey, Smiths' Little Fingers, Steely Danzig, Johnny Clash, Modest Mouse on Mars, Johnny M.A.R.R.S., BA-Ha Men, Roxanne Shania Twain, David MerzBowie, Buffalo Springheeled Jack, the DisEminemberment Plan, Aimee Manntronik Youth, Smashing PumpKid606, Mission of Bernard Sumner, "Scratch" Perry Como, i'm finding this a little too fun.

― marek, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yoko La TenGo-Go's, the BeatEels, Gang of 4Hero, must.. stop.
an obvious second challenge would involve describing a song by one of your invented bands.

― marek, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I just re-read and I want to exclude Creedence from my pond-pushing plans. Creedence rocks. (with their collective bayou knowledge it probably wouldn't work anyway boom boom)

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Chemical Brothers Johnson. Luke Sleater-Kinney. Marvin Gaye Bikers on Acid. Strawberry Alarm Clock DVA. Big Blackalicious. BroadKast.

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the Dandy GWARhols. Nashville Pussy Galore.

― daria gray, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Boycaught : reactionary hardcore pro-NAMBLA rock

― Will Wheatie, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bruce Haacksteen's song is "Dance Sing & Listen in the Dark"

― A Nairn, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Smogwai's song is "I Was a Sine Wave"

― A Nairn, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to retract Creedence from my pond-pushing plans. They rock. (It wouldn't work anyway. Pond = briarpatch.)

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Our Lady Peace Orchestra, North of American Music Club, Hank Williams Jr Gone Wild, The Tragically Hip Club Groove, Hank Snowpony and Anne Murray Head singing "One Night In Springhill" ends off the all sorta cancon night.

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

did someone say Mos Def Leppard yet?

― chaki, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yoko Bono
Little japaneese woman with a heavy Irish accent screeching "I'm not booggin' ye am aye? Aye don' wanna boog ye, Rock 'n' roll doggies."; "Charles Manson stole this from the Beatles...I'm stealing it back and putting on my dead husbands grave."

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dandy GWARhols! Lemme guess, their famous for their tracks "Barbarian Like You" and "Not if You Were the Last Sex Slave on Earth (Cornholing is Soooo Passé."

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

SlayerDiohead
Cex Pixies
Big Black Star
Steve AutechEarle

― marek, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, but what would the GWARhols' lead singer be named? hmm..

My Life with the Thrill Kill Culture Club. Styx Finger Satellite.

― daria gray, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cannibal COx

― marek, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rudi Tambaland: dub-loving anglo-indian dreampop hero or dub-loving india-obsessed hiphop hero?

― marek, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, but what would the GWARhols' lead singer be named? hmm..
Courderus Orungus-Orungus. (Which is also his species)
Petermentra Hymenstrom.
Zia McKeefcake and the Mighty Bass.
Balzac Deboer and his Jaws of Death.

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Ned's Atomic Kitten

― man, Saturday, 15 November 2003 01:51 (twenty-two years ago)

George Michael Jackson should of course read Boy George Michael Jackson.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Saturday, 15 November 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

or Boy George Michael Jackson Browne

― man, Saturday, 15 November 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Or Pseudo Echo Boy George Michael Jackson Brownie Ford.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 15 November 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Or we could stop.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 15 November 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Black Sebadoh

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Saturday, 15 November 2003 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Ultravoxcar Willie
Bruce Cocksparrer
Adam Anthrax
Johnny Cashmouth
Throbbing KISStle
Nine Inch Nylons
Magnetic Fields of the Nephilim
Depeche Moe D.

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Steely Damned

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 15 November 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The Pooh Styx

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 15 November 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Love Like Blood, Sweat & Tears for Fears

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 15 November 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

seventeen years pass...

Funkagaelic

Ireland's greatest traditional folk/P-Funk cover band.

― earlnash, Sunday, 15 November 2020 22:54 (five years ago)

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