Site New Answers Search Boards ILE ILM Answers New Question New Questions New Poll Blog View Register Login

A minus 9.6 on the open-ended Tanya Scale...

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
a Critics Corner Production.

You know-what? If I were fabulously wealthy and eccentric...
Okay...lets try that again.
You know-what? If I were fabulously wealthy and slightly more eccentric, I'd fund the writing of a album review guide written entirely by Tanya Headon.
Of course, the five star scale would require extensive revising.

5 Stars Classic
4 Stars Good
3 Stars Average
2 Stars Poor
1 Stars Bad
0 Stars Rubbish
-1 Stars Crud
-2 Stars Pondscum
-3 Stars Diarrhea
-4 Stars Vomit
-5 Stars Vomitted up Diarrhea
Trust me, you don't want to know what would get a -6 Stars.

― Lord Custos X, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd bet that the only album that Tanya would ever give a score higher than -1 would be the extended "ambient" remix of John Cage's 4'11"

― Lord Custos X, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lord Custos I have explained before I do not approve of 4' 33". Firstly it defames the good name of silence by calling it music. Secondly it suggests that any sound is music, a notion which if true would land me in the loony bin. Thirdly four minutes is not long enough for anything remotely pleasurable unless you are a schoolboy with a porno mag.

I already have a star system for music. It is a very simple one because it only has one possible grade: zero stars.

― Tanya Headon, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tanya! You're Back! Hallelujah! I knew this would bring you out of that gin-induced funk!

― Lord Custos X, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

did I say funk...I mean blues.

― Lord Custos X, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

did I say blues...I mean't...depression. Or is it No Depression?

― Lord Custos X, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...
Revive!

― ..., Sunday, 14 March 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Tanya Headon is crazy.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Sunday, 14 March 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I hated music; that would free up a lot of time in my life for other things.

― Chris F. (servoret), Sunday, 14 March 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...
Who wants to take up a collection to pay for her to write this record review guide.
(She could even re-use her old material!)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 11 October 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, it can't be any worse than that Kill Your Idols thing. (NO I WILL NOT LET IT DIE, SNARL SNORT)

― alfalfa romeo (natepatrin), Monday, 11 October 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
I just started reading that Kill Yr Idols book you spoke of.
DeRogatis still needs to get over himself. (I'd want to hurt the guy, but he's already being punished by being on Ryan Adams speed-dial.)
The Sgt Pepper chapter is OTM, but doesn't say anything I haven't already known for years, and the Desperado chapter is irrelevant. The way overrated Hotel California would've made a better target.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 29 November 2004 20:51 (twenty years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.
Site New Answers Search Boards ILE ILM Answers New Question New Questions New Poll Blog View Register Login