Who's the best out of the 50 worst artists in music history?

lol toad the wet sprocket

torn between Crash Test Dummies, Primus and Manowar

a lot of ppl I like on this list

so glad this tower of shite lost their print edition

what does this list have against the 1990s?

Doors

Keyboard “wizard” and professional cape wearer Wakeman’s diabolical taste revealed itself early, when he elected to join prog-rockers Yes instead of David Bowie’s backing band, the Spiders From Mars. Not content with contributing to Yes’s inexcusably pompous albums, he also spent the mid-’70s releasing a series of baroquely awful solo theme records, including The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. For reasons that are still unclear, he opted to perform that one on ice.

fuck you, blender, and i mean that from the bottom of my heart

Skinny Puppy. What are they even doing on there?

28 CRASH TEST DUMMIES
They said Brad Roberts’s voice was so deep it could be heard only by whales. Not true, sadly
If you want to be recognized as serious recording artists with a whimsical, folksy bent, it’s probably best not to notch your only hit with a daft novelty song based around the world’s silliest lead vocal and title it “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.” The remainder of God Shuffled His Feet, this Canadian band’s second album, was much worse. They released I Don’t Care That You Don’t Mind in 2001. No one cared.
Appalling fact They’re Canadian.
Worst CD A Worm’s Life (Arista, 1996)

i read this and voted for CTD, a band far far better than any of you earless hacks

What a stupid article. Plenty of perfectly decent material on that list. Get a proper job, yuo lamerz!

Voted for Kansas, anyway.

Japan

there's a few angles this could have taken and still not been awful: a ridiculous challops massacre (beatles, VU, Hendricks)
a loving ode to things like the Shaggs or a guilty pleasure thing where the twist is they are all actually brilliant. Basically something where they were loving music instead of hating on fairly obscure at this stage 90's "altrock" most of which is okay to great.

hey blender! you just ceased to exist as a print publication! what are you going to do next?

i fucking hate this magazine. and primus rules. eat me.

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^Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance.

Voted Master P, for being fucking great. The rest is a bit shit though, yeah.

There is a song I like by nearly everyone on this list. Dumb...

19 THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
10 AIR SUPPLY
7 ASIA
6 KANSAS

Awwww. Seeing these on the list makes me sad.

F--k you, Blender Magazine.

Leaning towards Gipsy Kings over the Doors and Iron Butterfly.

hey blender! you just ceased to exist as a print publication!

karmic retribution for this list!

I'd pick the doors or japan as best of the lot

To be honest, I agree that *most* of these artists are pretty terrible, but the writing here is just painfully bad. Completely pointless.

torn between The Doors and Kansas, though I want to vote for Blind Melon also...

JARED LETO
First rule of the Fight Club star’s group Thirty Seconds to Mars? Never listen to them. Second rule of the Fight Club star’s group Thirty Seconds to Mars? Never listen to them.

see whatcha did there

lots of these people suck! but taking aim at the likes of Howard Jones = cheap shots at easy targets. and no BOB JOVI/no credibility

FWIW i thought Blender was formulaic crap as a magazine. forced "humor" up the wazoo.

I know Arrested Development is looked down upon these days because of the way ignorant critics in the early 90s presented them as an alternative to "stupid gangsta rap", but that doesn't mean they didn't have some tight, groovy tunes. "Tennessee" and "Africa's Inside Me" would be proud pop moments in anyone's career. So them.

blender, lol

voted Alan Parsons Project, one of the most reliable what-to-spin-when-you-don't-know-what-to-spin bands

What happened to number 38?

KEANU REEVES

In The Matrix, he is “The One.” But in his crappy garage trio, Dogstar, he was merely the one who played bass — not very well.

ZING

In Speed, he saves a bus. But in his crappy garage trio, Dogstar, there's no saving his bass.

In A Scanner Darkly, he dons a shapeshifting scramble suit. How he must wish he still has it for his gigs!

I really have absolutely no issue with Jamiroquai up through and including Funk Odyssey.

In Constantine, he battles vampires. But his band are worse than vampires!

what is Oingo Boingo even doing on this list, what an odd choice to single out for scorn

what is Oingo Boingo even doing on this list, what an odd choice to single out for scorn

may your next life find you living in southern California during Oingo Boingo's peak days, you'll be singing a different song

and that song will be "Only a" fucking "Lad"

These are all great:

50 IRON BUTTERFLY
43 MIKE & THE MECHANICS
37 THE DOORS
33 JAPAN
21 THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
20 HOWARD JONES
6 KANSAS
2 EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER

Voted Japan because, I mean, WTF!!!!!!!!!

Doors

Skinny Puppy was fucking solid pre-reunion crap.

love how this is still getting people heated

Well, I still feel it would be more meaningful if critics devoted more of their time to writing about the stuff they like rather than the stuff they do not like. I mean, generally....

http://thinkpeace.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/world-peace.jpg

Try actually listening to a Manowar album (rather than just scoffing at 20-year-old cover art) and then get back to me. Fuckers.

like, do these idiots not see that if you START an album with a 27-minute song called "Agony, Ecstacy and Achilles in Eight Parts", you are actually awesome

i am currently working on a counterexample

here's one: "dignified" and "masturbating" don't belong in the sentence

I don't want to know what it is that LJ can type and "counterexample" at the same time.

"sure, you can ask if you can watch me masturbating, but your question won't be met with a dignified response."

^^^this

LJ, that's someone else's example! Do your own work! So glad I'm not a schoolteacher ...

"I dignified the five-minute period immediately following the termination of our phone-call by masturbating furiously"

no

"with furious masturbation" would make more grammatical sense but you specified the participle...can only work with the tools I'm given ^_^

lol ok can we get back to Insane Clown Posse now

That is possibly the worst way to dignify masturbation.

Insane Clown Posse is the worst way to dignify ANYTHING

juggaLOL

Good list of bad bands. I went with Whitesnake for that 'Here I Go Again' song. Utter genius.

Wait a minute. Wait just one mother$%^&*# moment! Where the bleep's Chicago (the band)????????

Alright I know I haven't read this whole thread, but I would like to say my peace and that is this:

I have many times told people how much I detest Primus with every fiber of my being, one of my most hated bands in the entire world and always people seem surprised and defend them. I'm delighted to see them get a kicking at last.

Also, Oingo Boingo need a kicking as well, although on a much lesser scale than Primus. John D. I remember that song "Only A Lad".

But to put Japan on this list is an absolute tragedy. Whatever sins they might have committed on their first two albums were surely made up for by the quality of what came after. And here, they get my vote.

But really, Primus can suck great big donkey dicks in the sky, man. That is honestly some of the worst music I've ever heard in my life.

caveat: I've never actually heard Insane Clown Posse but I know their reputation is bad enough that I should probably avoid them at all costs.

LOL at Kevin's suggestion of Chicago. I can hardly blame him. I have one, I repeat ONE Chicago song on my iPod, and even for that, I'm ashamed.

street player by chicago is one of the best songs ever.

I count 8 artists who actually thoroughly suck... mostly the obvious ones.. ICP, Bolton, Kenny G, Lee Greenwood, Yanni, Benzino, 98 Degrees, Celine (even though I'm okay with 1 of her songs which is enough to redeem any artist IMO)

At least half the artists on this list have at least 1 really good song that I can think of that redeem them and make them completely unworthy.. Perhaps most of these are songs that lots of people hate (I like ELP's "Lucky Man" a lot but dislike most of the rest..)

Starship have that one kinda awesome song that was in Crank.. I forgot the name..

When Yngwie was in Alcatrazz with Graham Bonnet, they were pretty good. Howard Jones had some good hits. I'm looking for someone I truly don't like on the list. I really don't like Pat Boone and Kenny G.

Starship were the first non-club concert I saw as a kid. Even though the hits are obnoxious, the individual members were cool at some point. I just checked their track listings at RYM, I guess I never liked anything they did after the name change.

I voted The Doors as best though.

street player by chicago "The Bomb (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind)" by The Bucketheads is one of the best songs ever.

fixed

Yeah, I really don't understand why the fuck the Doors are in here at all. That's just crazy, and I'm not even that much of a fan of them.

I heard "We Built This City" in the grocery story the other day. Starship can suck my dick, but at the end of the day I decided they're mostly harmless.

Kevin, what the hell are you talking about with this Bucketheads thing?

I voted for 'em, but a lot of people REALLY hate the Doors, including a lot of people here if you check the threads, and I think that's what this list is actually about.

For my $, the worst performer on that list is the unspeakable Michael Bolton.

(I even gave xhuxk benefit of the doubt and checked out Blackjack: 3rd-rate Whitesnake. The man's finest moment is still his "betting on the dreidel" anecdote.)

The Doors obviously. But why are Japan on it???!?!

Good to see some Manowar lovin on this thread.

IRON BUTTERFLY, muthafuckerz!!!

people hate the idea of the doors (ie, Morrison) WAY more than they hate any of the actual music--i've been there...and back. they are probably one of the 50 GREATEST rock bands ever.

(may this thread must never die.)

mustly...

street player by chicago is one of the best songs ever.

I wouldnt go that far, but a great song it is. From an otherwise not so great album though. But Chicago, at least until the mid 70s, were generally mostly great.

The Starship song I was trying to think of is "Miracles." Not bad for a Marty Balin track..

Thank fuck this poll was going long enough for me to drop another suggest ban.

KJB stop hating, Street Player is LIVE.

they are probably one of the 50 GREATEST rock bands ever.

dude makes a case

I dont understand Japan being in here. Even if I didnt like them (and I do), they've never ever, to my mind, been a band of mirth or mockery. There's no "lol that shitty band" meme about them. I mean they're not fucking Genesis or something.

Are they basing this on "Adolescent Sex"? On Sylvian's poncey hairdos? Has the 80s just fallen out of favour with Blender kidz?

Also baffled abt Skinny Puppy mainly because the kind of audience that wouldve come up with a list like this, I've doubts they would even KNOW who SP are. And if they dont like that kind of music why did they not also vote for NIN or Ministry.

Trayce I heart you but whichever band you chose to insert into "they're not fucking [BAND I DON'T LIKE] or something" would be doomed to have some smartarse twat like me say "they're better than Nine Inch Gothing Nails", right?

Hahaha I know, I know. Caveat: I like Genesis and dont much care for NIN, I was just flailing fr examplars anyway =)

ELP and The Doors are the obvious choices imo. But I know a lot of Japan fans for reasons I don't understand.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/3993/20050519043827comic.gif

Too Dark Park listed as the worst album by the amazing Skinny Puppy?

EPIC...FUCKING...FAIL!

agreed; many a DOOM/Quake session spent with that blasting in the background

I have this bizarre urge to insert "dork" into every artist name above. I will resist.

I dont understand Japan being in here. Even if I didnt like them (and I do), they've never ever, to my mind, been a band of mirth or mockery. There's no "lol that shitty band" meme about them. I mean they're not fucking Genesis or something.

No kidding. They were great. But of course not as great as Genesis used to be at their best a little less than 10 years earlier ;)

ELP got the boot.
Songs like Lucky Man, From The Beginning, Jerusalem, Still You Turn Me On, Trilogy, The Endless Enigma Part One.. seem like songs that just about everyone would enjoy. I would argue that my favorite ELP song is better than my favorite Doors song. I think a lot of people would say the same when comparing their favorite ELP song with their favorite Doors song.

ELP are definitely not among the worst, but not as obviously wrong to list as some of the others mentioned here. ELP at their best were very good, but they were also very bad at their worst. Genesis and Yes were both lots and lots better.

Personally glad to see some love for Alan Parsons Project. A lot of great prog-pop concept albums there.

It's hard to take this list seriously - buy yeah, obv. it should be Doors, who were pretty great.

I think I voted Air Supply.

Starship can suck my dick, but at the end of the day I decided they're mostly harmless.

This is how I feel about most people - "guys, you're alright. But if you wanted to suck my dick, that's alright too."