Best "Teenage ____" Song (4 Realz)

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Where the creme de la creme meets the dregs of the dregs. Fifty songs that fit the criteria, though most people haven't heard 30 of 'em.

Poll Results

Option	Votes
"Teenage Kicks" - The Undertones	16
"Teenage Riot" - Sonic Youth	16
"Teenage Dirtbag" - Wheatus	10
"Teenage FBI" - Guided By Voices	8
"Teenage Wildlife" - David Bowie	4
"Teenage Head" - The Flamin' Groovies	3
"Teenage Lament '74" - Alice Cooper	3
"Teenage Lust" - MC5	2
"Teenage Spaceship" - Smog	2
"Teenage Sensation" - GusGus	2
"Teenage Death Girl" - Kim Fowley	2
"Teenage Love" - Slick Rick	2
"Teenage Suicide" - Unrest	1
"Teenage Dream" - T. Rex	1
"Teenage Runaway" - Accident On The East Lancs	1
"Teenage Lobotomy" - Ramones	1
"Teenage Superstars" - The Vaselines	1
"Teenage Rampage" - Sweet	1
"Teenage Opera" - Earl Brutus	1
"Teenage Lust" - Jesus & Mary Chain	1
"Teenage Love Song" - Rilo Kiley	0
"Teenage Treats" - The Wasps	0
"Teenage Caveman" - Beat Happening	0
"Teenage Breakdown" - Joneses	0
"Teenage Girls" - The Scruffs	0
"Teenage Rebel" - Avengers	0
"Teenage High" - Pooh Sticks	0
"Teenage Zombie For Jesus" - Crawlspace	0
"Teenage Life" - The Cowboys	0
"Teenage Aggression" - A.B.H.	0
"Teenage Trash" - Catheters	0
"Teenage Invasion" - Drags	0
"Teenage Brain" - Gears	0
"Teenage Pin Queen" - Eleventh Dream Day	0
"Teenage Failure" - Chad & Jeremy	0
"Teenage Depression" - Eddie & The Hot Rods	0
"Teenage Angst" - Placebo	0
"Teenage Mustache" - The Locust	0
"Teenage Boyfriend" - The Capricorns	0
"Teenage Winter" - St. Etienne	0
"Teenage Love Affair" - Rick Derringer	0
"Teenage Days" - Hilly Michaels	0
"Teenage Crutch" - The Shirts	0
"Teenage Daughter" - Fat Truckers	0
"Teenage Confidential" - The Flamin' Groovies	0
"Teenage Warning" - Angelic Upstarts	0
"Teenage Wristband" - The Twilight Singers	0
"Teenage Emergency" = Snyder/Thomspon	0
"Teenage Hustlin'" - Tori Amos	0
"Teenage Whore" - Hole	0

― EZ Snappin, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:30 (fifteen years ago)

i've heard 16 of them. undertones will take this, no? john peel told me so in a dream.

― scott seward, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:33 (fifteen years ago)

Alice Cooper in the first poll, and Alice Cooper in the second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_cQ1udEmGc

― EZ Snappin, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:34 (fifteen years ago)

"teenage kicks" will rightfully take this but i'm voting wheatus cuz why not

― double pickles on the wein (k3vin k.), Monday, 6 July 2009 22:35 (fifteen years ago)

I have to vote Wheatus just because that's the reason we have an expanded poll (but also because I like it and have been listening to it a lot today).

Groovies in 2nd, Undertones in 3rd.

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:39 (fifteen years ago)

Big Fun "Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It)"

― Julio Afrokeluchie, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:51 (fifteen years ago)

oh now we have to start over

― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Monday, 6 July 2009 22:52 (fifteen years ago)

There are only 50 "Teenage ___" songs. Anyone who suggests otherwise is just making shit up.

― EZ Snappin, Monday, 6 July 2009 22:54 (fifteen years ago)

Teenage FBI for the win. Well okay, for fourth place then.

― young depardieu looming out of void in hour of profound triumph (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 6 July 2009 23:13 (fifteen years ago)

Teenage Wildlife, for the epic Fripp guitar solo.

― anagram, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 08:03 (fifteen years ago)

Big Fun "Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It)"

the unrest track is basically an expanded version of this

― c.c. crabcock (electricsound), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 08:07 (fifteen years ago)

um, i reckon it's either "riot" or "fbi"

think i'll vote fbi

― Charlie Howard, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 09:19 (fifteen years ago)

Teenage Kicks for me followed by Teenage Sensation. Will vote for the later tho.

― Moka, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 09:29 (fifteen years ago)

kicks duh.

― ABSOLUTELY NO SCRUBS WHATSOEVER, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 11:26 (fifteen years ago)

Teenage Riot 4EVA!!!!!

― kornrulez6969, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 13:53 (fifteen years ago)

Why is Teenage Kicks so highly regarded?

― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 14:14 (fifteen years ago)

Feargal Sharkey

― gnarly sceptre, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 14:19 (fifteen years ago)

Why is Teenage Kicks so highly regarded?

John Peel of course. It's not in my Top 10 of Undertones songs, or even Top 15

― Then in walked Barbara Castle with the Lady Eleanor (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 14:25 (fifteen years ago)

I can't see the appeal, personally

― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 14:56 (fifteen years ago)

It's simple, catchy and uplifting. I'd guess that if you heard it at just the right point in your life, it could become symbolic of...something.

― dlp9001, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 15:36 (fifteen years ago)

I feel the same way about 2 Unlimited's "No Limit".

― My Slow Descent into Assholism (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 15:52 (fifteen years ago)

I heard it at the right point in my life and thought it was dull as ditchwater. But Peel's word is bond obv.

― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 15:56 (fifteen years ago)

(xp) Can we expect to see...

No no
No no no no
No no no no
There's no limit

...on your headstone then?

― Then in walked Barbara Castle with the Lady Eleanor (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 15:57 (fifteen years ago)

Amazingly enough, someone else has thought of this : )

http://www.rhapsody.com/playlistcentral/playlistdetail?playlistId=ply.10344269

I'm happy to see my pick among the tracks. I think it's possible to play them, for anyone who's curious.

― dlp9001, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 17:56 (fifteen years ago)

No Teenage Victory?

― Mordy, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 18:16 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Sunday, 12 July 2009 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

TEENAGE DIRTBAG

― and the ugly girls, too (Tape Store), Sunday, 12 July 2009 23:32 (fifteen years ago)

otm

― k3vin k., Sunday, 12 July 2009 23:32 (fifteen years ago)

GBV

― iago g., Monday, 13 July 2009 00:12 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5ep8jp2zkQ

― naus, Monday, 13 July 2009 01:38 (fifteen years ago)

I've probably listened to "Teenage Kicks" about 20 times since opening this thread, though. That song is a fucking jam, too.

― and the ugly girls, too (Tape Store), Monday, 13 July 2009 04:26 (fifteen years ago)

"Teenage Suicide" - ~~Unrest~~ fucking BIG FUN, people!!

Boring as it seems, I'd be lying if I didn't go w/ Riot.

― gayest flash mob pillow fight yet (Pillbox), Monday, 13 July 2009 05:30 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Monday, 13 July 2009 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

Hard to beat, it seems.

― Mark G, Monday, 13 July 2009 23:24 (fifteen years ago)

Who was the wonderful person who joined me in admiration for Teenage Death Girl? I salute you, well-informed person!

I mean, besides being a great stomping example of studio dudes from California doing punk rock, it basically invents Sonic Youth's lyrics, for whatever that's worth.

― dlp9001, Tuesday, 14 July 2009 02:06 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

teenage dirtbag isn't that great though...

― billstevejim, Wednesday, 11 January 2012 05:47 (thirteen years ago)

katie perrie

― teledyldonix, Wednesday, 11 January 2012 06:06 (thirteen years ago)

Always nice to see The Capricorns mentioned on ILM, even if Teenage Boyfriend got zero votes.

― kornrulez6969, Thursday, 12 January 2012 14:56 (thirteen years ago)

But the UK Subs' "Teenage" ?

― Mark G, Thursday, 12 January 2012 15:08 (thirteen years ago)

xp yeah "Teenage Dream" is like 99999x better than "Teenage Dirtbag"

― billstevejim, Thursday, 12 January 2012 19:54 (thirteen years ago)

katie perrie

― teledyldonix, Wednesday, January 11, 2012 6:06 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― 69, Thursday, 12 January 2012 20:07 (thirteen years ago)

Can someone do a "Teen" poll?

― billstevejim, Thursday, 12 January 2012 20:14 (thirteen years ago)

go for it man.

― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 12 January 2012 20:17 (thirteen years ago)

maybe later

― billstevejim, Thursday, 12 January 2012 20:18 (thirteen years ago)

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