Scientist Writes the "Ideal" David Bowie Song

http://io9.com/5347017/scientist-writes-the-ideal-david-bowie-song

mad linguistics
Scientist Writes the "Ideal" David Bowie Song
By Lauren Davis, 10:30 AM on Thu Aug 27 2009, 4,642 views (Edit, to draft, Slurp)

Copy this whole post to another site
Slurp cancel
sending request

Can science create the ultimate David Bowie song? Psychologist Nick Troop has performed a psycholyrical analysis of David Bowie's most successful songs, using that analysis to create what he claims are lyrics to the ideal Bowie tune.

Troop is a health psychologist and lecturer at the University of Hertfordshire. Much of his work is focused on eating disorders and trauma, but he is also investigating how word usage can affect one's mood and health. As a sideline to his research, Troop decided to analyze the lyrics of all of David Bowie's songs using text analysis software Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count. Troop also looked at the relative success of Bowie songs, and based on his findings, penned lyrics to what he believes to be the "ideal" Bowie song. He explains his process in detail below, and sings his alleged hit-in-the-making, "Team, Meet Girls" at 4:24:

Team, Meet Girls; Girls, Meet Team (© Nick Troop, 2009)

Buddy loves good loving : Calm and proud while peace wins
Warmth and conversation : Heaven's energy and an elegant charm
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Sweet faith : Secure in the affection of a better boy
Feeling admiration : A cheerful kiss, kiss the phone
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
They met and were loving : Perfectly amazed, comfort and cared for
A loyal companion : Share, relax, creating humans XXX
Dear charm, playing nice give paradise smiles
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Special persons with casual ease enjoy the band
Lucky and rich, a special guest hero
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Girls, meet team; team, meet girls

uh, sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyIMi3uTpBQ

Always should be someone you really luvvvvv....

All the songs on Tonight, Never Let Me Down and the Tin Machine albums are better than "Team, Meet Girls; Girls, Meet Team"

Scientist forgets to go "Well, that didn't work" and throw crumpled paper in bin.

Would work with Suede

^^^ would certainly include the word "maisonette"

and gasoline.

Maybe this scientist could do the same with Ray Gun's songs and end up with a load of generic indie rock shite.

how embarrassing. i actually physically cringed reading that

Nick Troop, you have one thing going for you; you have no shame.

how embarrassing. i actually physically cringed reading that

wow, it really is accurate!

Actually, that's the best David Bowie line so far, right there!

he does actually have some kind of grasp of bowie's odd use of syntax mb — i haven't actually managed to bring myself to watch him perform or explain it though

his performance kind of ruins the claim that it's the "ideal" anything

Scientist? In what way is he a scientist?

He's a lecturer on how to eat stuff at a polytechnic in Welwyn Garden City.

Maybe stuff in Welwyn Garden City is hard to eat.

So you've tried the food at the Doctor's Tonic then?

Bummed this isn't about the dub producer. Leaving thread disappointed.

"A loyal companion : Share, relax, creating humans XXX"

meet your new username

XP: I can confirm that Ned is right.

The lasagne at the Pear Tree has to be seen to be believed.

And that is meant in an entirely negative sense.

They used to pipe the same music as was played to keep the inmates of the psychiatric institution docile in 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' into the bar to make the daytime drinkers less punchy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK7lYAIT-f0

actually the good sifl and olly Bowie impression is 4:41 into this metacafe link

"olly moondust"

"I'm making proteins in body as I speak; star lover"

kiss the phone

The lyrics read like something that's been translated in and out of a few languages, so kudos for making something that sounds pretentious and ludicrous. But I do wonder, does everything that a "scientist" does count thereby as "science"? There's considerable debate about the efficacy of "text analysis software" at least in literary circles, where it is often trotted out to prove that Shakespeare may have written scene 8 from "Arden of Feversham" or what have you. I don't see why the mere statistical profile of the frequency of some tics and mannerisms adds up to the capacity to re-synthesize an example of the thing being analysed.

This is the most elaborate ruse yet for pulling eyes to yr terrible, terrible vanity project.

I have never really listened to David Bowie, but I guess now I don't have to.

I assumed this was just sort of a Komar and Melamid thing!

http://www.bigupradio.com/artistimages/scientist.jpg

Bummed this isn't about the dub producer. Leaving thread disappointed.

^^ this :(

david bowie has apparently be writing most of my internet spam

been

A loyal companion : Share, relax, creating humans XXX
Dear charm, playing nice give paradise smiles

That's Max Webster, innit?

since when is Peter Murphy a scientist?

also I'm pretty sure he just got these lyrics from the bottom of a spam email

Truth wins – an adult love to win awards

Slurp cancel

http://brightcove.newscientist.com/services/player/bcpid2227271001?bctid=35215290001

oh, you can get that if you follow the original link, which I didn't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g09gOh2qwug