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JESUS WAS WAY COOL

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JESUS WAS ***WAY*** COOL

Poll Results

OptionVotes
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world 5
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood 4
And swam on the land 4
No wonder there are so many Christians 4
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of 2
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky 2
So they killed him 2
He rose from the dead, danced around 2
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was 1
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines 1
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix 1
He would tell these stories 1
If you were blind or lame 1
He could've danced better than Barishnikov 0
Jesus was way cool 0
Jesus was way cool 0
That's so cool 0
I mean, that's so cool 0
Jesus was so cool 0
But then he rose from the dead 0
Then went up to heaven 0
He could've told the future 0
Everybody liked Jesus 0
Everybody wanted to hang out with him 0
Anything he wanted to do, he did 0
He turned water into wine 0
And if he wanted to 0
He could have turned wheat into marijuana 0
Or sugar into cocaine 0
He walked on the water 0
And people would listen 0
He was really cool 0
You just went to Jesus 0
And he would put his hands on you 0
And you would be healed 0
That's so cool 0
Jesus was way cool 0


― ian, Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:48 (seventeen years ago)

"he rose from the dead, danced around"

― \/*|_*/-\*|) (Pashmina), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:49 (seventeen years ago)

He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world

― flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:51 (seventeen years ago)

(my fave is still "take stuff from work")

― flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:53 (seventeen years ago)

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool

― O(Suggest/Ban)AMA (Z S), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:54 (seventeen years ago)

No wonder there are so many Christians

― new clusterfuck thread will eventually provide me a funny display name (sarahel), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 22:55 (seventeen years ago)

"Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of" always struck me as the most outlandish of all of his potential miracles.

― Highly trained BBQ chef (rockapads), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 23:36 (seventeen years ago)

yeah cuz srsly, who's funnier than gilbert godttfried??

― ian, Wednesday, 16 September 2009 23:37 (seventeen years ago)

He's funny because He is Truth.

― yo gotti gotti! (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 16 September 2009 23:43 (seventeen years ago)

Is this a Wesley Willis song?

― chap, Thursday, 17 September 2009 00:28 (seventeen years ago)

KING MISSILE, my friend.

― my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Thursday, 17 September 2009 00:38 (seventeen years ago)

i remember when ilxor eppy gave me a few of their tracks on a mix, and i would play them over and over and over.

― my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Thursday, 17 September 2009 00:39 (seventeen years ago)

wait detachable King Missile?

― Randy will be autographing copies of his fascinating autobiography (dyao), Thursday, 17 September 2009 00:43 (seventeen years ago)

I quote "and he swam on the land" to this day

― If I'm posting, I'm drunk. (PappaWheelie V), Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:13 (seventeen years ago)

(and quoted way too many lines from Cheesecake Truck for years)

― If I'm posting, I'm drunk. (PappaWheelie V), Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:13 (seventeen years ago)

the hendrix line usually stands out for me..

― billstevejim, Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:28 (seventeen years ago)

To quote another song about another person:

"HE MAKES THE BEST FILMS!!!"

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:28 (seventeen years ago)

He would tell these stories

^^ for some reason this part always cracks me up, i think because it's where the examples start getting really broad and vague

― some dude, Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:31 (seventeen years ago)

This song always reminded me of this 70's paperback, same relatin'-dudes-to-The-Word vibe but played straight:
http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A1558/155858/150_155858.jpg

― dad a, Thursday, 17 September 2009 01:32 (seventeen years ago)

"swam on the land." Jesus was the OG Landshark.

― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 17 September 2009 02:34 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Saturday, 19 September 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Sunday, 20 September 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)


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