Village Voice's F2K

F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One

Contributions from several ilxors. I'm definitely looking forward to this. Actually, this'll be the first time I actually read Idolator in a while.

It should always be read. But I would say this.

Anyway the revulsed reactions from various friends who had never encountered brokeNCYDE before ensured this started off with a bang.

i think all songs on this list will be agreeably terrible

it's sad cuz whiney is banned

he will be happy that you started this though, kshighway

Whiney was banned? Wtf, we need him back immediately.

I like Whiney fine, but he's been insufferably ornery lately. Some time away may do him good.

wow "Control Myself" is a really thoughtful choice

kshighway, give him one of your other user names ; )

:-)

i totally knew that was whiney about a sentence into that

[Special thanks to Jordan Sargent and [NAME REDACTED] from [LOL FAMOUS WEB SITE] for helping us put together this list

lol wat

where's dom passantino when you really need him?

was thinking the exact same thing

"control myself"? this list is not off to a good start. :(

[Special thanks to Jordan Sargent and [NAME REDACTED] from [LOL FAMOUS WEB SITE] for helping us put together this list

it was me & arianna huffington

anyway, jeezus. i'd never actually heard brokencyde. now i know why i feel icky when i watch emotwink porn.

Hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime I'm sure we'll all be following this.

ahahahahaha wat

I said I hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime many of us will be reading whatever he writes for this Idolator series.

i think your crush on Whiney is cute.

"control myself"? this list is not off to a good start. :(

― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 3:13 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

^This... BrokeNCYDE OTM, though.

hahaha i didn't know that whiney wrote for idolator

"control myself" is a great song, actually surprised it was deemed beyond the pale

any list that starts with brokenCYDE is gonna be a good one, for sure. A bold move immediately excluding 'My Humps', I'm pretty sure that we (okay, I) can only find it fun and funny now after years of being overexposed and acclimatised, forgetting how mindblowingly awful it first felt.

how many songs do brokenCYDE have?

Out of curiosity, did anyone here who likes "Control Myself" actually read the reasons *why* Maura didn't like the song?

Yeah, I just did -- her criticism might hold more water if the production was as boilerplate as the lyrics.

she licked
off
her lip
gloss

Okay I'm not gonna lie, I love this song but I do see why someone would not like it, given it's an oddly-muted club banger that is completely anonymous and personality-free coming from a couple of the biggest personalities in the music industry.

All I can really say is zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh

It's an 8.0. It could never be a 9.0 or a 9.5 or a 10.0. Though it could be a 6.5 or a 7.5. But it's better than a 6.0, definitely.

I will admit that I was shocked to discover a few months ago that I had put it on my (108-track) Best of 2006 mix, but that's just because I'd completely forgotten about it.

i'm glad Jordan helped w/ this, Whiney kept asking me for suggestions but i was like, sitting at home with a newborn baby, and did not have enough hate to spare

the "Control Myself" blurb forgot to mention the 3 most pathetic things about the song:

1) that Fergie was their first choice for the hook and they got J.Lo after she said no
2) that LL was purposely recycling his "Going Back To Cali" flow for old school points
3) that the Clipse actually got all butthurt and accused LL of biting because they had their own song with the whole ancient "zuh-zuh-zuh" thing on it around the same time

god i wish i could still comment on Idolator, some stupid error message keeps coming up no matter what browser i'm on for the past 6 months anytime i try to comment

i'm glad Jordan helped w/ this, Whiney kept asking me for suggestions but i was like, sitting at home with a newborn baby, and did not have enough hate to spare

― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:45 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark

Why you hate the babby? :(

haha

48 is up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXf0yIRcdnI

We loved the Iraq war? Or The Moldy Peaches?

#48 just made me a Whiney FAN 4 LYFE

the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved.

clearly this is whiny speaking from experience right?

what the fuck is that song

also lol at the ad hominem attack

I am going to be so entertained at Dan's reactions to all these horrible songs yet to be unearthed.

it's kind of nice to know that my wholly unfair prejudgment of The Moldy Peaches was absolutely 100% accurate

by pdfreeman at 2:22 pm

@Christopher R. Weingarten: Millionaires are the new Runaways, grandpa.

^Phil OTM

as tom ewing said on twitter, "who's got the crack?" is 47 places too low on this list. what a vile song.

I'm hoping that Ashlee Simpson, The Goo Goo Dolls, and Smashmouth didn't make the Worst of the 00's list, since they're all listed on the barfing iPod.

(Ashlee for not having any songs that are anywhere in the vicinity of the 50 worst of the decade, other two because any badness worth anything happened before the decade started.)

*~~ashlee's wondrous~~*

also cuz "all star" is a dope song

The amount of writing we did total for this is the size of a 33 1/3 book

i dunno what the legals would be, but you guys should look to get it published! just tack on a new top 50-100 albums list or something.

some scary shit from the song's wikipedia page:

In 1996 a "Big Yellow Taxi (Traffic Jam Mix)" peaked on the U.S. dance charts at #39 and was part of the Friends: Music from the TV Series soundtrack album (see Joni Mitchell#Singles and External links).

The song was also performed as part of the finale during the 1997 Lilith Fair tour with the Indigo Girls, Jewel, Sarah McLachlan and Meredith Brooks.

or worst 50-100 albums list, i mean

call it 33 and a turd

whiney, i literally clapped my hands while giggling to that entry. i think 'board-shorted' might be my new favorite term.

call it 33 and a turd

― the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 8:52 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^____________^

A serious thank-you to Whiney and Maura for all the work they put into this. I loved reading/listening to it.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun to read. Thank you both.

Likewise!! It is great stuff.

I mean you knew that already. What I meant was that I loved it.

I will add my thanks. This was a fun read and a fun thread, too. I will miss this.

FWIW I never liked "Big Yellow Taxi" that much. Don't it always seem to go that most "political" pop music doesn't really ask the listener to take any responsibility for the situations they declaim?

(")They(") suck(s).

I will miss this.

esp since it signals the end of idolator as well.

You mean you don't want to read vapid blurbs about Jessica Simpson's ear candling?

I already miss Idolator a lot. I asked upthread where I could get writing of this calibre on a daily basis and nobody answered with anything that met this requirement. Personal blogs are cool and all but there are some things that are truly improved with more than one person involved.

also I will miss this thread, one of the few I haven't killed with my "charming" personality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgXXnEC_37w

the new ID♥LATOR logo is hilarious in how it's like the polar opposite of nick denton's original gossip/snark/humiliation vision of 05

(fuck you, Ned!)

Ah ya punk. :-D Nah, I'm currently on vacation and also slightly under the weather so I'm glad someone else stepped up, I'm only just now reading all this.

Echoing everyone's thanks for this whole thing.

aw, you guys are so sweet

whens the poll??? good job, whiney and maura dot com.

You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.

<3 <3 <3 x 1000

thx whiney and maura. i imagine this was like the musical version of sailing up the river in apocalypse now.

thanks for following along all this time, everybody! i just reread this whole thread and it was like tripping back through the last eight weeks. which, whew.

I don't know, the original vision was pretty hilarious too.

http://www.i-mockery.com/blabber/pics/otter-pops-armageddon.gif

You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.

<3 <3 <3 x 1000

agreed. and i love joni mitchell, but "big yellow taxi" was always a little too cutesy for me.

love it. thanks for everything you guys.

i think my personal favorite was blue october.

can't find the Alan Partridge clip where he talks about 'Big Yellow Taxi' :(

I never even noticed this thread!
reiterating my plea for a 2cd set from whiney

Seriously it was an awesome and well-researched list but the abject shittiness of each entry crowded out any room for zingers.

I feel like there is no room for zingers right now, sure.

The list doesn't really have that problem, though.

A heh.

"Ass Like That" was on the first draft of the list.

Da doing doing doyyyyyng

― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No "FACK"?

still think that the chipmunk song is a little too good for this list

and for this world imo

ha!

so i have a question

did u guys actually actively research, finding bad songs that were new to you, or just organize the list from your collective traumatized memories?

both!

ha jump rope sucks so bad

The 2010 edition kicked in a few days back:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/columns/f2k10/

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17a989_worst-cover-songs-of-all-time-snl-11-16-13_people#from=embediframe

WHERE CAN I READ THIS?!?!? It appears to have disappeared from the internet entirely. Even the Internet Archive Wayback Machine is giving me a page of a 404 error.

:,(

We pitched it as a book, everyone blew it

if only we'd called it f2k me please

Can't believe yall just let all this great writing just disappear forever. Backup your work ffs. Does anybody even have a complete list?

why don't you step off

and maybe educate yourself about how online content works. sheesh man

it looks like its here? https://www.google.com.au/search?q=f2k+village+voice&safe=off

Yay! Thank you!

http://www.villagevoice.com/?s=f2k