Man who assaulted female officer with his penis, what's on your iPod?

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8570398.stm

I would say "shaking my head" but I think people would get the wrong impression.

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:09 (fifteen years ago)

I believe we call that 'rape' in the U.S.

musicfanatic, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:11 (fifteen years ago)

no we don't

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:16 (fifteen years ago)

what kind of fuckin writer

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:16 (fifteen years ago)

I'm still baffled by the logistics of this situation tbh

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:17 (fifteen years ago)

Helmet

mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:19 (fifteen years ago)

"When The Sun Hits", Slowdive

Most important performer of our generation: (Euler), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:22 (fifteen years ago)

coldplay a rush of blood to the head

gukbe's a n00b (cozen), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:22 (fifteen years ago)

Either he is very tall and she is very small, or she was on her knees, or he stood on the sofa, or she bent down to have a look.

No, YOU'RE a disgusting savage (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:24 (fifteen years ago)

the dicks - "dicks hate police"

Deuce Bigalow: Male Juggalo (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:25 (fifteen years ago)

good old alcohol

Religious Embolism (WmC), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:27 (fifteen years ago)

Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest ilx thread title of all time.

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:29 (fifteen years ago)

Foreigner, "Head Games" btw

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)

I'm still baffled by the logistics of this situation tbh

You're not alone.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)

999, "Let's Face It"

Religious Embolism (WmC), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:31 (fifteen years ago)

"Knock On Wood"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:38 (fifteen years ago)

Robert Palmer, "Woke Up Laughing"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:38 (fifteen years ago)

2 Live Crew - "Throw the D"

Deuce Bigalow: Male Juggalo (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:38 (fifteen years ago)

"A Love Like Yours (Don't Come Knockin' Everyday)", Ike & Tina Turner

Most important performer of our generation: (Euler), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:39 (fifteen years ago)

Devo, "Whip It"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:39 (fifteen years ago)

Oscar Klein, "In Walked Dick"

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:39 (fifteen years ago)

"Sex Beat", Gun Club

Most important performer of our generation: (Euler), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)

anything by Tool

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)

or the Sex Pistols

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)

Michael Jackson, "What More Can I Give?"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)

MJ, "Beat It"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

Anita Baker, "Giving You The Best That I Got"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

Eamon, "Hitting A Police Officer With My Penis"

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:42 (fifteen years ago)

"Rama Lama Ding Dong", the Edsels

Most important performer of our generation: (Euler), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:42 (fifteen years ago)

XTC, "Pink Thing"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

Sex as a Weapon

dad a, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

either the cop was sitting in his apartment and he, yup, just got up, whipped it out and started to smack her with it. or, maybe the apt could be on an upper floor, and she was on some steps going down, and so was at the right (wrong) height?

man i dunno

jesus and mary chain - head on

goole, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

Chuck Berry, "My Ding-a-Ling"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

Hit you with my rhythm stick

StanM, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

"The First Time I Saw Your Face"

da croupier, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

"Hit me with your best shot" - Pat Benatar

musicfanatic, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:45 (fifteen years ago)

Prince, "Pope" ("Who's the funky drummer with the crooked little sticks? He might have better luck if he was drumming with his dick.")

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:46 (fifteen years ago)

Divine, "Shoot Your Shot"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:46 (fifteen years ago)

Oops Upside Your Head

Brio, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:47 (fifteen years ago)

Gillette - "Short Dick Man"

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:48 (fifteen years ago)

U2, "Mysterious Ways"

NoTimeBeforeTime, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:49 (fifteen years ago)

Hit Me Baby One More Time
Oops I Did It Again

No, YOU'RE a disgusting savage (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:49 (fifteen years ago)

"In Yer Face" - 808 State

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:51 (fifteen years ago)

Isaac Hayes, "Shaft"

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:52 (fifteen years ago)

Spitting Image, "The Chicken Song"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:53 (fifteen years ago)

Goldfrapp, "Head First"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:54 (fifteen years ago)

yo la tengo - "sudden organ"

INSUFFICIENT FUN (bernard snowy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:55 (fifteen years ago)

International Noise Conspiracy, "The Way I Feel About You"

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:56 (fifteen years ago)

Four Tet, "This Unfolds".

No, YOU'RE a disgusting savage (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:57 (fifteen years ago)

yo la tengo - "sudden organ"

― INSUFFICIENT FUN (bernard snowy), Tuesday, March 16, 2010 2:55 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

lollllll

bnw, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:58 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdWpJM9-_6Y

ogmor, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:58 (fifteen years ago)

Flaming Lips, "Oh, My Pregnant Head".

Lots of Flips titles work.

No, YOU'RE a disgusting savage (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:59 (fifteen years ago)

Last Exit, "My Balls/Your Chin"

Half lies and gorilla dust (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 19:59 (fifteen years ago)

So lucky he wasn't tasered.

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Farting in Space (NickB), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 20:11 (fifteen years ago)

Little Feat-Rocket in my Pocket

Bill Magill, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 20:11 (fifteen years ago)

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Michael Ossildong, 28, tried to strike the officer, Vera Wayfromcock, on the head with his penis, forcing her to take evasive action with the help of her partner, Ward Offadork. The officers were called out to the flat by his girlfriend, Desiree Pistloose. "Personally, I don't see the problem" said Solicitor Forsexx, dismissing the charges.

Hideous Lump, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 20:15 (fifteen years ago)

I'm still baffled by the logistics of this situation tbh
You're not alone.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, March 17, 2010 3:30 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

we need a 3d crime scene reconstruction a l a Chinese TV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV85rD0gfqo

I request "Fireflies" (dyao), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 00:47 (fifteen years ago)

"Prick Up Your Ears" - Yeah Yeah Noh

Michael Train, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 01:24 (fifteen years ago)

nwa, fuck tha police

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 01:26 (fifteen years ago)

The Darkness - Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)

DJ Get Up Kids (jim in glasgow), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 01:27 (fifteen years ago)

Was (Not Was): "Dad, I'm In Jail"

Tied Up In Geir (Geir Hongro), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 01:30 (fifteen years ago)

whitehouse - you don't have to say please

meisenfek, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 05:30 (fifteen years ago)

whitesnake - good to be bad

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 05:37 (fifteen years ago)

Asia - "Heat Of The Moment"

Bow Before Zeezrom!!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 05:51 (fifteen years ago)

"Judy is a Dickslap" for the Scottish flavor.

bromance is roaring (fucking in the streets), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 06:01 (fifteen years ago)

the dicks - "dicks hate the police"

― Deuce Bigalow: Male Juggalo (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, March 16, 2010 3:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thread-ender was in the first 10 posts, honestly

rolling stupid fruity crazy ragg ned (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 06:02 (fifteen years ago)

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.

hmmm.

ian, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 06:40 (fifteen years ago)

XTC, "My Weapon"

The Oort Locker (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 10:02 (fifteen years ago)

Slapshot - In Your Face

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Farting in Space (NickB), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 10:20 (fifteen years ago)

Howlin' Wolf, "Wang Dang Doodle"

take me to your lemur (ledge), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 10:22 (fifteen years ago)

And the award for best QTE in a video game goes to...

"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

tomofthenest, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 10:32 (fifteen years ago)

also Liz Phair - "Cops On Our Tail"

tomofthenest, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 10:37 (fifteen years ago)

Tom Jones, "Thunderball"

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 14:43 (fifteen years ago)

yo la tengo - "sudden organ"

A++, lock thread.

I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 14:55 (fifteen years ago)

three years pass...

I can't believe the link to this story is still valid

deX! (DJP), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:37 (eleven years ago)


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