What If... Young Money invented rap?

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In this thread, rewrite classic rap lyrics as if they were written by Young Money.

NOTE: Your new rap must still rhyme and still make logical sense. These are more challenging than the fake, non-sequitur YM raps in the grocery bag thread.

~~~

I came in the door, I said it before
I'll never let the mic magnetize me... IRON ORE

~~

La-di-da-di, we like to party
We don't cause trouble... BEAV AND WALLY

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 02:42 (fifteen years ago)

looooooool thread

NOT FUNNY NEEDS MORE GUCCI (deej), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:12 (fifteen years ago)

this is kind of hard

be my anchor baby (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:14 (fifteen years ago)

this is difficult imo but I feel obligated to give it a shot

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard,
Flip it...BIRD

gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:26 (fifteen years ago)

well done!

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:29 (fifteen years ago)

ha thanks it is really an A-level challenge!

gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:31 (fifteen years ago)

this is way too geeky and not as good but what the hell, nobody else is coming in

When I was five years old I realized there was a road
At the end I will win...GOD MODE

gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:44 (fifteen years ago)

He's the better of the best, best believe he's the baddest
Perfect timin' when I'm climbin'... LADDERS

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:46 (fifteen years ago)

Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit...COMPOST

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 05:03 (fifteen years ago)

haaa

best toasty (zorn_bond.mp3), Thursday, 19 August 2010 05:11 (fifteen years ago)

This is way, way too hard!

I am taking no prisoners taking no shorts
Breakin' with the metal... CANNIBAL CORPSE
------------------------------------------
Anyway a gas station we passed
We got gas... BUSTED ASS
------------------------------------------

Becky Facelift, Thursday, 19 August 2010 09:49 (fifteen years ago)

fuck the police comin straight from the underground
A young nigga...CHRIS BROWN

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:16 (fifteen years ago)

err let's try that again:

fuck the police comin straight from the underground
A young nigga got it bad...CHRIS BROWN

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:16 (fifteen years ago)

usher did "U Got It Bad"

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:17 (fifteen years ago)

I'm aware of this, I wasn't referring to the song. mostly the fact that Chris Brown has it bad cuz he beat the crap out of Rihanna and his last album was a critical and commercial disaster.

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:18 (fifteen years ago)

THESE RULES U HAVE IN PLACE R SO HARD 2 FOLLOW

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:19 (fifteen years ago)

Super Nintendo, Sega Gensis,
Man I was dead broke... UNHAPPY REMINISCE

a hoy hoy, Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:24 (fifteen years ago)

Cos I don’t like to dream about gettin paid
So I dig into the books .... SPADE

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 19 August 2010 16:11 (fifteen years ago)

lmfao

teledyldonix, Thursday, 19 August 2010 16:15 (fifteen years ago)

Inhale deep like the words of my breath,
I never sleep... SMOKIN' METH

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Thursday, 19 August 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

this thread is hilaire!

horseshoe, Thursday, 19 August 2010 21:34 (fifteen years ago)

Bass drum kickin to show my shit
Rap a hole in my dick...JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 21:44 (fifteen years ago)

Too many emcees take that word mc lightly
They can't move a crowd...RIOT POLICE

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Thursday, 19 August 2010 21:46 (fifteen years ago)

She says "no, you're not", then she starts cryin
I says "I'm 19", she says "stop lyin'"
I said "I am, go ask my mother
And with your wrinkled pussy...SALLY STRUTHERS

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 21:59 (fifteen years ago)

Figured out I went the wrong route,
So I got with a sick-ass click...CORDLESS MOUSE

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Thursday, 19 August 2010 22:09 (fifteen years ago)

Ayo Bo knows this and bo knows that
But Bo don't know Jack...SPRAT

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Thursday, 19 August 2010 22:12 (fifteen years ago)

Some get shot locked down and turn nuns
Cowardly hearts...LIONS

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Thursday, 19 August 2010 22:20 (fifteen years ago)

Thirty years ago, Jesus could pull a ho quick
But now he 50 and his belly hangs... OLD ST. NICK

nonviolent j (unregistered), Thursday, 19 August 2010 22:58 (fifteen years ago)

someone needs to take all the approved verses in this thread and drop them over a sick drone beat

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 23:02 (fifteen years ago)

I am the king of rock, there is none higher
Sucker MCs ... PACIFIER

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 19 August 2010 23:03 (fifteen years ago)

Gold star

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 23:04 (fifteen years ago)

I would hesitate to call a lot of these "classic" line, but mostly good work all around so far

i think i can beat my dyson (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 August 2010 23:04 (fifteen years ago)

hahahaha that one from n/a

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 19 August 2010 23:47 (fifteen years ago)

stop, collaborate and listen
ice is back...NEW KITCHEN

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:23 (fifteen years ago)

stretching the definition of "classic" a bit

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:24 (fifteen years ago)

i'm not internationally known
but i'm known to rock.....SLY STONE

~~~fly~~~ (The Reverend), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:27 (fifteen years ago)

if u having girl problems i feel bad 4 you son
i got 99 problems...THE GREAT ONE

http://behindblondiepark.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/wayne_gretzky.jpg

handel's messiah complex (m bison), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:29 (fifteen years ago)

First things first man, you're fuckin' with the worst
I'll be stickin' pins... VOODOO CURSE

Doctor Casino, Friday, 20 August 2010 00:30 (fifteen years ago)

hahahaha

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:33 (fifteen years ago)

milk is chillin, giz is chillin
what more can I say? ... TOP BILLIN

? (dyao), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:35 (fifteen years ago)

in West Philadelphia, born and raised,
on the playground...POKEMON TRADE

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:36 (fifteen years ago)

Posessed with power, cowards will cower
Ducks we devour... PEKING SWEET AND SOUR

----------------------------------------

Everybody go hotel, motel, Holiday Inn
If your girl starts acting up... JENNIFER ANISTON

I give up

She Got the Shakes, Friday, 20 August 2010 00:46 (fifteen years ago)

who gets weaker? the king or the teacher?
it's not about a salary...MIAMI HEAT (uh!)

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:49 (fifteen years ago)

it was all a dream
i used to read...GRAPHEMES

handel's messiah complex (m bison), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:56 (fifteen years ago)

Soul Train done lost they soul
Just call it Train...BORING POP/ROCK 'N ROLL

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:57 (fifteen years ago)

lol m bison bring very big lols to me

gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, 20 August 2010 01:03 (fifteen years ago)

yeah for some reason changing "i used to read word up magazine" to just "i used to read" is so funny

horseshoe, Friday, 20 August 2010 01:04 (fifteen years ago)

I was trying to flip the humpty dance in a similar style but the best I could come up with was

I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like cupid,
I use a word... LITTLE JEW KID

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 01:20 (fifteen years ago)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3260/3134600450_f8078e6a85.jpg

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 20 August 2010 01:21 (fifteen years ago)

i'm retired from this thread because they take way too long to think up! just gon read y'alls now

michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Friday, 20 August 2010 01:22 (fifteen years ago)

really can't get over "...GRAPHEMES"

Doctor Casino II, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 19:17 (fifteen years ago)

What in the world is in that BAG, what you got in that BAG?
A couple a... GROCERIES

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, August 19, 2010 11:10 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

some dude, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:21 (fifteen years ago)

two years ago a friend of mine
asked me to say.....NO MIME

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:26 (fifteen years ago)

shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yeah shimmy yay
gimme the mic.... KANYE

surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:27 (fifteen years ago)

whoa i just googled the lyrics and apparently consensus is that it's "shimmy yam"???

surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:30 (fifteen years ago)

wtf no way

some dude, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:30 (fifteen years ago)

lol at that one

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:31 (fifteen years ago)

enemies can't extort me
cuz Jay-Z bare arms...SHORT SLEEVES

board of the living based heads (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:31 (fifteen years ago)

always heard it as "shimmy yam" myself

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:31 (fifteen years ago)

why the hell would it be yam??

surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:32 (fifteen years ago)

give me the mic so i can take it awam?

Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:32 (fifteen years ago)

uh, isn't that just kinda inverting an actual jay line?

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:32 (fifteen years ago)

surf: it's already nonsense anyway

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.nataliedee.com/053005/a-yam.jpg

Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

xp haha no the second one is "yam" not "yeah"

surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

right, i thought that was the one we were talking about

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:34 (fifteen years ago)

oh, that was to whiney n/m

markers garvey (The Reverend), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:35 (fifteen years ago)

yeah rev i guess it is

board of the living based heads (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 14 September 2010 21:54 (fifteen years ago)

Soul Train done lost they soul
Just call it Train...BORING POP/ROCK 'N ROLL

― michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, August 19, 2010 8:57 PM Bookmark

ain't no time for hesitation, that only leads to incarceration
you don't know me... AWAITING FRIEND CONFIRMATION

― I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Thursday, August 19, 2010 10:53 PM Bookmark

These two are underrated imo.

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 September 2010 15:43 (fifteen years ago)

hahaha agreed, those are both great

Doctor Casino II, Friday, 17 September 2010 19:32 (fifteen years ago)

This is a really great thread because the challenge is just so hard that in general I think nobody contributes unless they have something awesome, it's hard to be lazy about it!

Doctor Casino II, Friday, 17 September 2010 19:33 (fifteen years ago)

Trap goin' ham
We got pies...MCDONALDLAND

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 22:24 (fifteen years ago)

I knew I was the man with the master plan
Make you wiggle and jiggle...KIM KARDASHIAN

turn in yer badge (San Te), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:09 (fifteen years ago)

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard
Flip it...THE BIRD

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

this is difficult imo but I feel obligated to give it a shot

I can take a phrase that's rarely heard,
Flip it...BIRD

― gross rainbow of haerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, August 18, 2010 11:26 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

turn in yer badge (San Te), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:23 (fifteen years ago)

Not so rarely heard it turns out!

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:25 (fifteen years ago)

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped... BIRD

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:34 (fifteen years ago)

lol

turn in yer badge (San Te), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 02:34 (fifteen years ago)

lols

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 03:10 (fifteen years ago)

if u having girl problems i feel bad 4 you son
i got 99 problems...THE GREAT ONE

― handel's messiah complex (m bison), Friday, August 20, 2010 1:29 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

what i love most about this is how it makes 99 into an adjective

p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 03:45 (fifteen years ago)

ah shit just thought of a better one:

Trap goin' ham
We got pies flyin'... WAM

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 15:39 (fifteen years ago)

btw, do you guys hear these in your head being done by the original artists, or basically does Drake's voice so totally suffuse grocery bag rap that every one of these punchlines acquires his listless, flat delivery?

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 15:41 (fifteen years ago)

I imagine everybody delivering the punchlines like the Beastie Boys, where 5 voices shout the words in caps

turn in yer badge (San Te), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 16:05 (fifteen years ago)

i actually imagine mine: first line sung by drake, second line rapped by drake

surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 16:10 (fifteen years ago)

^^^^^^ this must be a painful exercise for u

turn in yer badge (San Te), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 16:11 (fifteen years ago)

I always hear Drake, often with the particular clunky inflection of "Last name 'Ever', first name 'Greatest'"

haven't you people ever heard of theodor a-goddamn-dorno (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 16:15 (fifteen years ago)

i actually imagine mine: first line sung by drake, second line rapped by drake

― surfboard dudes get wiped out, totally, Wednesday, September 22, 2010 4:10 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

I like this approach too tho

haven't you people ever heard of theodor a-goddamn-dorno (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 16:15 (fifteen years ago)

six months pass...

Nowadays everybody wanna talk,
Like they got somethin' to say
But nothin' comes out... CONSTIPATE

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 2 April 2011 18:53 (fourteen years ago)

Hear my favoritism roll "Oh"
Never be a brother...CALRISSEAN, LANDO

San Te, Saturday, 2 April 2011 19:26 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

Every jam we play, we break two needles
There's three of us... CHARLIE'S ANGELS

every time you touch me (I get hives) (unregistered), Sunday, 8 May 2011 05:13 (fourteen years ago)

nine months pass...

Suckas on my jock when I walk down the block
I really don't care if you're jealous...BIG COCK

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Saturday, 11 February 2012 22:35 (thirteen years ago)

three months pass...

And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin'... MARS BARS

Doctor Casino, Monday, 28 May 2012 18:13 (thirteen years ago)

seven years pass...

About to go and damn near went blind
Young n****s at the pad throwin' up...E COLI

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, 17 October 2019 17:14 (six years ago)

I came in the door, I said it before ... ENCORE

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 17 October 2019 19:50 (six years ago)

one month passes...

I thought I hated all punchline rap and then I heard "Shooter" by clipping.

brigadier pudding (DJP), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 16:37 (six years ago)

one month passes...

It's like a dream land, I can't lie, I've never been there
Maybe this is an experience...VEGAS, CLASSIC CHER!

... that's Traore! (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 28 January 2020 05:08 (six years ago)

ten months pass...

1, 2, 3 and to the 4
Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr Dre is at the door
Ready to make an entrance, so back on up
Cos you know I'm bout to rip shit...BUTT

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 December 2020 06:35 (five years ago)

one year passes...

I'm sorry if you can't understand
But I need a radio...RADIO SHACK BRAND

they were written with a ouija board and a rhyming dictionary (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 15:09 (four years ago)

one year passes...

Whenever she happens to walk by, why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings...PEWDIEPIE

I can't turn a fart into a question (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 August 2023 00:01 (two years ago)

Once upon a time not long ago
When people wore pajamas... NIGHTCLOTHES

erasingclouds, Friday, 25 August 2023 03:39 (two years ago)


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