Mozart has time-traveled to your living room. He asks you about today's music.

What do you play for him/take him to see?

http://www.cluas.com/images/music/album/tapes-n-tapes-loon.jpg

How far could I stretch "today"? Because I am certain he'd love a lot of the stuff McCartney and Wilson composed in the 60s.

do you think he'd like genesis, or would he throw a tantrum upon realizing how crappy his own music was by comparison?

Aphex Twin all the way. might as well destroy his brane asap.

would totally play him some Psyopus and then masturbate cackle furiously while he sat uncomprehending and speechless

I wonder what he'd think of Debussy.

I think I'd play him romantic composers & then some early moderns & then some Art Tatum & some Duke Ellington

if we had two days I might try to get into Berg & Webern and all that mess and maybe try some Steve Reich

if we had three, Elliot Carter

the thing is though for the thing to be meaningful at all, you'd need to do a survey - "here's what happened after you, and from that this sort of started going on in Vienna, and then there was a whole deal in Russia," etc. - in which I'd guess he'd be interested

he wouldn't care about the Beatles or the Beach Boys or most of the music we like, no matter how much we like to think that our love of it means it can stand next to titans like Mozart

Exactly.

maybe I'd just play him Mannheim Steamroller and giggle like a prick

Some Messaien, some Reich, and then POW! "Cornet Chop Suey" between the eyes.

erkin koray, northern uproar, xenakis, alien ant farm, girl talk, sightings, tlahoun gessesse, lachenmann, yasanao tone, schooly d, ultravox and lfo

then i'd gently get round to informing him that women are allowed to make music now too, and indeed are acclaimed for it, after which he'd doubtless break down and acknowledge that nannerl was the talented one and he just took the credit, the fucking thieving shit

therion

hoos you are my bro for life if you're a therion fan, fuckin A. also I'm like right down the street from you right now.

I never could decide whether to ease Wolfie into it or to try and blow his mind.

almost! i'm actually out of town for the night, i'da been at the show otherwise tbh xp

would also totally make mozart that cauliflower dish aerosmith told me about - went down a predictable storm

id make him watch amadeus and see if it made him wanna kill tom hulce

also therion is fucking greeeaaaaat

http://i11.tinypic.com/4bfnofo.jpg

you guys heard the new therion it fucking slays imo*
*in mozart's opinion

U acronym master u lol

lol

If this were a Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie episode and I were Larry Hagman or Dick Sargent York, I would introduce him to Boyce and Hart, conveniently standing by in the next room, before my lovely spouse blinked him back to his own time period.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EQWIP7CXzxM/SQsNTpv9jzI/AAAAAAAAALM/jbOsroIM8NM/s320/R-109064-1218124893.jpeg

I would rather he'd lived another 30 years.

i think i'll be too much in a state of shock from the situation to play him anything.

i'd roll him a j out of my sister's boyfriend stash, and once we got nice and toast'd I'd play him Tanz der Lemminge.

will he be wearing his wig and everything?
will he be naked?
jeans and t shirt?

thats very important.

he has quantum leaped into your cat Wally.

I'd round up some sheet music from Bartok or someone and then hijack his time machine and go for a killer ~ride~.

so i'll play him Black Dog i guess
xpost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2i5ct_27n4

It'd be fun to play him a car commercial with his own music as the soundtrack. He'd be like "how am I hearing this music from a box without any musicians present?", then "My own music is still relevant and popular, centuries later? I guess I'm pretty good", then "what are cars, whoa at cars"

"whoa at cars" kudos

FALCO

^^^ I was trying to come up with some smart(ass) answer, but this beats everything.

Dude, your hair makes me think you're going to like Jesus and Mary Chain, The Pastels and Cocteau Twins.

But unfortunately your clothes make me think you're going to like Cradle of Filth.

I'm thinking of Beethoven.

I'd give Mozart his first pill and play him Pure Phase by Spiritualized.

do you think he'd like genesis, or would he throw a tantrum upon realizing how crappy his own music was by comparison?

He'd love 70s Genesis. Melodic and complex, just like his own music. :)

I'd play him "Meet The New Mozart" from the latest Prefab Sprout album. Then I'd say "Dude, that's cold. I can't even believe he'd do you like that."

i wonder what mozart would make of spoon?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltLOrgnfW9w

Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Joni Mitchell, Duke Ellington, and Bill Monroe.

idk that I'd show him anything, I'd be pretty pissed that he was in my goddamn living room, what if I was in the middle of a Family Ties marathon?

erm, then you would ask him to sit down and start explaining to him the wondrous ways of Alex P Keaton, perhaps?

I wish I could explain to Geir that Mozart would find the alleged complexity of 70s Genesis totally laughable, and that occasional use of a harpsichord and/or stitching five unrelated songs together and calling them "parts" of a bigger "song" doesn't place anybody on the classial continuum any more than me lifting a paintbrush makes me Rembrandt, but better men than I have tried to point out to Geir where he's wrong & it just doesn't work

classical, I meant to type

so when in the last two hundred years was timbre finally discovered

lols @ geir calling dude "a bit far off, though, because he existed in a universe where anything but _____ music was worthless in his eyes."

has german changed much since mozart's time? did mozart know any archaic english?

English hasn't changed that much at all since Mozart's day.

ahoy hoy, herr mozart, would you do without a wireless, a dirigible, or a pennyfarthing wot wot 23 skidoo?
corsets on wealthy dowagers: classic or declasse?

let's have Geir time travel back to Mozart's day and see how he freaks out that he suddenly has no music he likes to listen to

Interesting web discussion of Mozart's language abilities (I've linked to the post that best addresses his grasp of English).

adorno adored beethoven

Because he considered Beethoven to be part of the long lineage of progression which culminated forever Schönberg and 12 tone music.

that isn't true either

that's very interesting! re: mozart practicing English by taunting his pupils in it.

Schonberg inspired the Beach boys

adorno would never have thought of, or wrote in terms of, "progression" or anything being "culminated forever"

can't you just be happy that he didn't like jazz? jeez, give the old guy a break

stupid question: Geir, have you actually read Adorno, and hold an informed opinion about him, or did you just manufacture a strawman based on a paragraph quoted out of context?

the Beach Boys inspired Schonberg.... through TIME TRAVEL

brian wilson has time traveled to schonberg's living room

stupid question: Geir, have you actually read Adorno, and hold an informed opinion about him, or did you just manufacture a strawman based on a paragraph quoted out of context?

lol yeah you kinda answered yr own q here drugs

Wouldn't necessarily require time travel for Brian Wilson to meet Schoenberg; they both lived in southern California throughout the 1940s. Granted, the time travel scenario would lead to more interesting conversations between them...

My answer to any time-travel hypothetical is "The Rockafella Skank."

For Mozart, that, and that "Midnight Blue" ballad, and, I don't know, "You Belong With Me."

what IF Schonberg was the dude with the pop sensibility and Brian Wilson was the master of noise, and he followed the scenario Big HOOS laid out, and Brian Wilson/Schonberg had a Reese's Peanut Butter cups moment and taught each other their opposite styles....

....so then Schonberg DIDN'T ruin music (GeirTM) after all???!!!!!

MAKES YA THINK

I suppose I should go ahead and reveal my ignorance with a realistic answer to the question. But to set some limits, let's say he has to go back in two hours. So...no symphonies, and I'll start a whole half century after Mozart. I added these up and it's just under 120 minutes. The crash course:

Liszt/Hungarian Rhapsody five
Overture to Carmen (only two minutes)
Night on Bald Mountain
Strauss/In Abendrot
Debussy/Prelude to Afternoon of a Faun
Sibelius/The Swan of Tuonela
Williams/The Lark Ascending
Puccini/maybe Si, Mi Chiamano Mimi and
Nessun Dorma for good measure, since these are short
Holst/Jupiter from the Planets
Copland/Fanfare for the Common Man (three minutes)
Louis Armstrong/West End Blues
Ellington/Take the A Train
Rammstein/any song (it's in German!)

Woops, I left out John Adams/the Chairman Dances -it's still under two hours.

B'wana that playlist looks great! I threw together a Spotify playlist just in case he ever does show up:

http://open.spotify.com/user/pmadra/playlist/6QExryVuq3lgmkjZ8Hscr6

That playlist is actually pretty good. Would probably substitute one or two for electronic songs... maybe Pantha du Prince and Aphex Twin.

... or something heavy on percussions.

Although I'd give myself migraine trying to explain him how electronic music works... probably just better to let him figure it out and send him back in time to see how he manages to reproduce it.

Mozart would be horrified by that list. Better play him some nice melodic pop music. He'd like that better. Mozart was a melody guy.

<3

funny how Mozart's view of music seems to be exactly like yours!

guy

http://www.happybabybag.com/catalog/images/mozart.jpg

^^^ pinnacle of western art. Mozart without all the unmelodic crap.

Not sure it does what it says on the tin though.

probably better naptime music than a Schoenberg piece for soprano

just to prop up Geir's favorite strawman composer for more fun in this thread

No twelve-tone masturbation in front of the baby please.

I like how Nessum Dorma, Carmen, Jupiter and one of Debussy's drippier pieces are too unmelodic for Geir.

Not all of it, but a lot of it. Generally "classical" music from after 1900 is not wasting much time on. The true classical music of the 20th century were composed by pop composers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijnfdLFhn2o

straight bottin'

xpost

Bach and Mozart were the greatest composers of the 18th century, Beethoven and Brahms may have been the greatest composers of the 19th century (a larger number of candidates though) and McCartney and Wilson were probably the greatest composers of the 20th century.

(Well, actually Tony Banks is better, but people didn't understand)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41195000/jpg/_41195084_banks2pa203.jpg

Not that Tony Banks, I guess :)

http://www.fastcompany.com/1697711/explain-the-internet-19th-century-british-street-urchin-doogie-horner#self

I have thought about this a lot actually and I still can't decide if I would try and show him the progression of music through time past his own, or just fuck with his mind.

Like,
"Here's a great example of American folk music in the 20th century, Mozart..."
*puts on Caroliner*

or

"Here's a great example of American folk music in the 20th century, Mozart..."
*puts on Bob Dylan*

tough choices...

do you think mozart heard leonin & perotin?

he might get more out of having his own shit put in context

Charlie Parker has time-travelled to your living room.......

officium to see if he lols

"Here's a great example of American folk music in the 20th century, Mozart..."
*puts on Caroliner*

― The Porcupine Captain With A Crew of White Rabbits (Viceroy), Tuesday, October 26, 2010 5:36 PM (2 hours ago)

Are you sure Caroliner is from the 20th century?