KISS:
A rock and roll show that would make P.T. Barnum proud, KISS is and forever will be the hottest band in the land. Formed in Queens New York in 1973, KISS mixed theatrics with well crafted songwriting. By keeping it real, the band went on to build an empire. Their influence helped pave the way for then-unknown bands like Alice Cooper and David Bowie. Although disabilities kept me from serving my country, nothing would keep me from joining the KISS Army! Nearly 30 years, and 50 albums later, KISS is still unstopable. While having a couple of beers with him one night, I asked Gene what the letters in the KISS logo stood for? His reply: "Keep It Simple, Stupid!" Nuff said.
THE KNACK:
The raw sexuality, simplistic song structure and lust laced lyrics took the world by storm in the early eighties. Their presence was a breathe of refreshing air to a rock and roll market which was becoming stagnant with the stench and overstay of such bands like the Grateful Dead and Queen. With the debut of "Get The Knack," Doug Fieger and his band mates changed the rules forever. And you know what? I like it.
THE RAMONES:
People were actually pissed when Spin Magazine recently listed the Ramones as the #2 band of all time. I was pissed that they weren't #1! Caving into industry pressure, Spin placed The Beatles in the number one spot. Like I always say" "Money can't buy me love, but it sure can blind critics." When the Ramones hit the stages of the infamous CBGB nightclub in 1977, the brought three chords, attitude and a wealth of leather. Showing the world that four working-class Irish-Americans had a message to deliver. I hope they decide to tour again soon!
COLD PLAY:
Fuck Radiohead! No pretty boys hiding behind sampled music here. Cold Play got it right. Like I said: 'The truth is a hard message to hear!" With instant classics such as "Sparks" and the pro-oriental anthem "Yellow", Cold Play is well on their way. As for England, who's past musical contributions - excluding U2 - have been marginal at best, my hat's off to you. Famous for good shoes and bad teeth, England has redeemed itself with Cold Play. God Bless The Queen.
THE STROKES:
Like the Ramones before them, New York City's The Strokes overcame economic diversity and earned their place in rock royalty through sheer determination and good a old fashion sweat. It's a rare that a band this good can seemingly come out of nowhere and take us all as hostages. What ever the ransom price may be, I hope the powers don't pay it. I like this captivity.
POISON:
"Don't mean nothing but a good time, how can I refuse..." What's wrong with having a little fun in rock and roll? Does everything have to be as depressing as a Jimmy Buffett concert? Ironically it was Poison that became the antidote for the scourge of hair metal bands that infected us in the late 1980s. Brett Michaels, C.C. Deville, Rikki Rocket and their bass player taught overrated bands like Guns 'n Roses a simple lesson: If you continue to spit on your fans, eventually they'll drown. Maybe the greatest live show you'll ever see, Poison is a must see act. With C.C. clean and sober, I say it's time the boys bury the hatchet and give their millions of loyal fans "something to believe in" - again.
VAN HALEN (WITHOUT DAVID LEE ROTH):
Alright, you can start writing your letters! Think what you will... Sure, Dave was fun, Dave was a showman, Dave was a world within himself - but Dave wasn't a singer! Sammy Hagar, a founding member of Montrose, was not only a better singer, but he had stage presence to boot. The post Roth Halen rocked the world twice as hard and twice as loud. That's double what Roth did. The video for "Right Here, Right Now" should be all the evidence that I would need to prove my case, but to Roth fans this evidence is about as relevant as the DNA evidence was to the colored people on the Simpson jury! Van Halen will continue on stronger without Dave, and sadly, without Sammy. Meanwhile, neither Sam nor Dave will ever see a concert stage again!
EMERSON, LAKE AND PLAMER:
Every critic has their dirty little secrets, musically speaking. Mine is ELP. What intrigued me most about the band was the fact that they didn't have a guitarist. A rock band without guitars? It cant be? But it was true. All instruments were created through the keyboard! Listen to tracks like "In the Beginning," "Still You Turn Me On" and "Lucky Man" and you'll see what I mean. Keith, Greg and Larry not only found a new sound - they invented it! Pretty big concert draws in the 70s, ELP hit bottom with their ill-conceived venture into the disco arena in the 1980s. My sources tell me they're currently in the studio with Pat Benatar's producer, and looking to get back on track! Let's hope so.
TODD RUNDGREN:
Better than Stevie Wonder. Yes, you read that correctly. His track record speaks for its self. "I Saw The Light," "Hello, It's Me" and "Bang The Drum" are just the tip of the iceberg for this musical genus. A noted record producer and arranger, Rundgen was solely responsible for Meatloaf's 1977 masterpiece "Bat out of Hell." Just goes to show, good artists share their talents. Anyone who is still not convinced should go out and buy a copy of "Something, Anything" and try not to weep. And for the record, I was the first critic to proclaim it a masterpiece in print - years before Cameron Crowe! Then again, I said a lot of things just before Cameron Crowe mysteriously said them verbatim. That's another story in and of itself. As for Todd, he's still selling. Stevie? He's just breathing.
- Brett Meisner
Universal City Walk, CA
May 20th, 2002
― Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Monday, 19 August 2002 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)
For me, the Colplay entry particularly stands out. Apart from the mere fact he's praising Coldplay:
"Fuck Radiohead! No pretty boys hiding behind sampled music here"
Yes, Thom is so dreamy, isn't he. And what's wrong with the sampler, you rockgoon?
"As for England, who's past musical contributions - excluding U2 - have been marginal at best, my hat's off to you"
Ignores UK Punk, Acid House, Drum & Bass and Garage in one fell swoop. And U2 are Irish.
"Famous for good shoes and bad teeth"
I know about America's disgust with British teeth, but good shoes? Really? I thought that would be Italy or something. And why is the phrase "good shoes" used in the context of "this is a bad thing"?
...tis a shite fest, despite the inclusion of the Ramones.
― Christopher Lyons, Monday, 19 August 2002 13:28 (twenty-three years ago)
eighteen years pass...