the landfill that time forgot: crap uk bands of 00s/10s

Oh God.

Are we voting for redeeming features, heartfelt loathing or comedy value?

heartfelt loathing or comedy value

thankfully haven't knowingly heard anything by at least half of these.

The Automatic seems like an important omission. They had that song.

i am now actively trying to remember a song that i despise and would rather not give any more headroom to, just to figure out which of these fuckers is responsible

I always thought The Hoosiers were American for some reason.

Scouting For Girls are the shittiest band here, by a long way.

The Automatic seems like an important omission. They had that song.

― Pisle of dogs (seandalai), Thursday, February 17, 2011 3:34 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

I think I might like that song more than any song from any of these jokers.

I always thought The Hoosiers were American for some reason.

almost got ^these guys confused with Hooters who are not at all the worst thing ever...

http://exlaodicea.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/michael-gove-460_1109643a.jpg

Actually Kaiser chiefs had a couple of decent choruses.

The Hoosiers are such a bunch of twats.

Hang on, are we voting for the worst? That's kind of impossible.

^^^
Scouting for Girls make me forget doors exist. By the second chorus of "She's So Lovely", I'm generally found whipping around the room looking for a small table to throw through a window so I can escape.

At least the Automatic were good enough to ensure they remained a simple novelty band by releasing just one silly song and never bothering anyone again.

wtf are the Futureheads doing here? Their first album was awesome from start to finish.

The View had a really good song on their second album called 5Rebecccas or something.

It's quite impressive that even on a list containing Toploader, The Kooks and The View, Scouting For Girls are still the worst.

Florence & The Machine do not belong here, should be no girls in this poll unless they're playing bass.

athlete - CONTENDERS. Coldplay without the musical and lyrical savagery

babyshambles - couple of decent singles imo, clearly horrible people and fans but hey that's indie rock and roll

biffy clyro - CONTENDERS. I have never knowingly heard a Biffy Clyro song yet I can still smell them from here

florence and the machine - fucking horrible but hey sexism

hard-fi - don't really hate these much but remember I never read any music press or watch interviews ever

hundred reasons - don't remember much about them, some kind of comedy fake Metal band yeah?

joe lean and the jing jang jong - probably the biggest individual cunt on this cunt-packed list but fortunately never lived to inflict music on me. may have been some kind of LJ-ish performance art joke?

kaiser chiefs - CONTENDERS. Scum de la Scum, the sound of a service station convenience store on the M62 stamping on a human ear, forever

kasabian - CONTENDERS. Just enormous wonky tools, a cross between everything that's terrible about the Doors, Primal Scream and Oasis bafflingly adored by blokes with indie haircuts who turned thirty last year

keane - soft target soft scoop shite, too pop and occasionally pleasant to win this thing

mumford and sons - CONTENDERS. I honestly thought at the time that I wd never see anything worse than the Levellers while I lived

noah and the whale - jesus who are these gobshites?

pigeon detectives - got nothing, assume they're shit, I've probably heard something by them on account of the fucking terrible indie disco in the Piper on a Friday

razorlight - I quite like that "Trouble in America" song for some reason, clearly nothing to do with the horribleness of these Ikea no-marks

scouting for girls - CONTENDERS. I honestly have mutilation fantasies about these. Angry, angry fans for some reason

snow patrol - I liked that one about standing up but the one about lying down is the worst "give me a cuddle and a mug of soup" pandering shite I've ever heard in all my life

starsailor - quite funny. in retrospect. it hurt at the time

the courteeners - great band name, great lads, hope to fuck I never hear what they sound like

the cribs - fuck knows

the enemy - I honestly really like "We'll Live and Die etc etc" sorry

the feeling - I honestly really like that fill my little teacup up song except the lyrics, sweet tune and arrangement imo

the fratellis - CONTENDERS. the cunt's cunts

the futureheads - yeah cheers for the Kate Bush cover you useless sub-XTC-when-they-was-shit twats

the hoosiers - in many ways I hate these more than Scatting for Girls but they are sort of too risible plus their fans are less angry. they should drown in slurry tho

the kooks - is this the buskers band? EVIL BEYOND FUCKING BELIEF if so

the magic numbers - pleasant sub-Beautiful South middle-aged couple music iirc, can't place them here

the ordinary boys - I think the dude's suffered enough

the others - fuck knows

the rakes - hey hey it's the Strokees

the stereophonics - CONTENDERS. honoured too many times for their services to the cause of evil to get my vote here. don't think the dude's suffered enough

the twang - fuck knows. assume they're no Blak Twang

the view - or are these the buskers twats? fuck knows tbh

the wombats - are some of these made up?

the zutons - fucking shit but at least they had a sax which means hey they're not the worst fucking shit

toploader - ONE HIT CONTENDERS. clearly need to die, but the ex has suffered enough imo

I've got to vote Scouting for Girls in the end, but there's a special circle of hell where this whole gang is the playlist and I regret all the mean things I've said and done

HArd to argue with SfG, but Chelsea Dagger is the shitehawk national anthem & may swing me to ver frats.

glad I have never heard most of these bands.

i don't know why i'm doing this to myself... but maybe someone here can help me remember the terrible awful no-good song that was by one of these bands or someone like them. an xfm favourite a year or two ago, lyrical themes: don't be sad, you're still young, remember that time we took a record player somewhere and played some tunes, oh yeah that was top.

xps - I think the band that has annoyed me most often is actually The Fratellis.

the stereophonics - CONTENDERS. honoured too many times for their services to the cause of evil to get my vote here. don't think the dude's suffered enough

he did kill himself to be fair

I was aware of that.

Holloways, Music Generator?

(an answer to ledge, that)

WHERE IS THE SCRIPT

xp that was it. thanks. "thanks". actually the name has not yet triggered any memory of the music, thank fuck.

xp - The Script are Irish iirc.

i have never heard scouting for girls or read anything about them. can someone explain why they are the worst please?

Oh.

God I hate the Script though.

I'd forgotten all about The Zutons! (I guess that's probably for the best.)

hmmmm

i think both the first futureheads album and the first rakes album are classics (haven't listened to the latter in years tbh but i fucked heavy w/ it when i was 17)

i've enjoyed a number of songs by snow patrol, the cribs, and, yes, razorlight

they had that song: the zutons, the magic numbers, kaiser chiefs, keane & hard-fi (i used to bang that one joint that was on fifa 06, maybe it was "cash machine"?)

the band on here that i've heard the most shitty music by is kasabian, and i'd be tempted to vote for them but really i can vote for no one besides joe lean and the jing jang jong, from the shitty name right on down to the fact that they made the cover of NME and still never made an album

pigeon detectives & scouting for girls are runners up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVLqo7C-WwA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlMfV7A3V00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oaOQ1cQwt4

Somehow, for me, The Killers made the song that even more than "Chelsea Dagger" sums up everything that this tremendous movement stands for.

It's a black hole of shite and terror.

bands on this list i have knowingly heard:

babyshambles - horrible
florence and the machine - not my thing, but she doesn't belong in a UK indie landfill poll
kaiser chiefs - horrible, but not as bad as several of the others
kasabian - horrible
keane - horrible
mumford and sons - what the fucking fuck
snow patrol - horrible
the cribs - lol johnny marr
the futureheads - not actively offensive
the magic numbers - not actively offensive
the stereophonics - horrible

voted mumford & sons

wow i had no idea the killers had a song called "indie rock & roll" -- thank god i'm at work and have no way of listening to it

the wombats & the courteneers really bring me back to the time in high school where i used to read nme irl

I first heard the Killers track in a friend's car on a landfill compilation and assumed it was by one of the tossers on the list until I looked it up.

Being completely candid, even though seeing the names listed like this makes my heart feel heavy and grey:

Like one song by: Athlete (1st album), Florence, Hard-Fi, Kasabian, Keane, Starsailor, Futureheads, Magic Numbers, Twang, View
Like a whole album by: Babyshambles, Rakes, Kaiser Chiefs

Voted Toploader.

Yeah, Magic Numbers don't bother me at all, they're sweet overweight aging hippies who like to sing pleasant vocal harmonies.

you know who belonged on here even tho I liked a couple of their songs? Maximo Park

Shiteness rating out of 10

ATHLETE - 9/10: really this is the point where post-Coldplay bands just started taking the piss. Also I think they were technically Christian rock.
BABYSHAMBLES - 7/10: Probably the worst live band I have ever seen but they get a couple of points taking off for car crash/amusement value.
BIFFY CLYRO - 7/10: Would probably be higher if I'd had more exposure to their fans and/or been to Reading in 10 years.
FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE - 4/10 - bit too much in the star quality stakes, also a couple of alright songs.
HARD-FI - 6/10 - awful clumsy shit but they get a couple of points knocked off because Hard To Beat was quite a good song, and they weren't the Ordinary Boys.
HUNDRED REASONS - 5/10 - too past-it and lol to be serious contenders here
JOE LEAN AND THE JING JANG JONG - 7/10 - obviously woeful but everybody knew it
KAISER CHIEFS - 10/10 genuine contenders
KASABIAN - 10/10 genuine contenders, also worst fans ever
KEANE - 2/10 basically too inoffensive
MUMFORD & CUNTS - 20/10
NOAH AND THE WHALE - 5/10 - no one can seriously vote for them when Mumford & Sons exist
PIGEON DETECTIVES - 10/10 worst shit ever
RAZORLIGHT - 10/10 also maybe more for Johnny Borrell factor
SCOUTING FOR GIRLS - 11/10 she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly, she's so luvverly
SNOW PATROL - 9/10 - they get a point knocked off for making DJ Martian so angry
STARSAILOR - 8/10 - obviously terrible but also kind of easy to ignore to matter how big they were
THE COURTEENERS - 6/10 - some Oasis shit, right?
THE CRIBS - 9/10, dude has one of the worst voices ever
THE ENEMY - can't even remember what they sounded like but I'll assume they were terrible so a straight 8/10
THE FEELING - I don't think I've actually knowingly heard one of their songs, 8/10 as I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt
THE FRATELLIS - 30/10 - Chelsea Dagger might be the worst thing that any of these bands have put out
THE FUTUREHEADS - 5/10 - feel a bit too credible to be here
THE HOOSIERS - 9/10, stupid name
THE KOOKS - 4/10 - hating on the Kooks feels a bit like hating on Keane, kneejerk "girls like this so it must be shit" hate
THE MAGIC NUMBERS - 5/10 - hilarious strop on Top of the Pops gives them a bit of leeway, also everyone's forgotten about them
THE ORDINARY BOYS - 10/10 - surely they were to 'ska' what Mumford & Sons are to 'folk'
THE OTHERS - honestly I have no idea what they sounded like but the sheer lack of ambition indicated by giving yourselves a name with absolutely no connotations whatsoever gets them a straight 10/10
THE RAKES - even Lethal Bizzle is probably embarassed about this lot now 8/10
THE STEREOPHONICS - okay they might actually rival Mumford & Sons 30/10
THE TWANG - 8/10 - fuck knows
THE VIEW - 9/10 - Cast more like
THE WOMBATS - 8/10 but at least they seem funny in retrospect
THE ZUTONS - 10/10 - die.
TOPLOADER - should fit in the Kooks/Keane mould except for the fact that Dancing In The Moonlight is one of the worst records ever made. 10/10

i have the biffy clyro album with the woman masturbating on the front. i do not recall the name of the record but the image stuck. the singles off that were v good and i suspect continue to be so.

NME cover connections

https://sites.create-cdn.net/siteimages/5/5/8/55872/69/7/2/6972232/246x317.jpg

Cover connections continued
http://lucyobrien.co.uk/content/5-journalism/youth-suicide-nme.jpg

not quite but

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8CsAAOSwwiVfEtYY/s-l400.jpg

I did like the long blondes

occasional poster Raw Patrick is married to one of them, iirc, yes

The only Google hits for the phrase "radar in a bikini" are that 1986 NME cover and an excerpt from a 2015 romance novel:

"And we couldn't do that from the Bahamas?" She stroked his neck, letting her thumbs play lightly along the edge of his jaw. "Just picture it. Under the radar...in a bikini."

Wonder what the NME thing was about.

Not married but we do have a joint mortgage, a dog and chickens so that's near enough.

I met Kevin P in NY once and discussed obscure Slampt act the Kid Lemon.

radar was the name the nme's media section (films, tv, comics etc) -- i think there was a special (written by edwin pouncey aka savage pencil) on trashy bikini-beach type movies? blast-off girls and so on? "radar in a bikini" is very much the kind of title they wd have used to trail that

i mean there WAS a special on this, i just don't remember if it was in this issue -- i do remember that the editor of the section misplaced (and possibly completely lost) all of pouncey's precious visual material, posters and stills and such and spent days tidying up his corner of the office in the hopes of turning them up

Radar in a Bikini would be a great band name.

i had the youth suicide cover up on my bedroom wall

lol

in fact there was a run of 4 "issues" issues of the NME that it belonged to, me and my friend rechristened our semi-hypothetical musical project BLACK YOUTH SEX SUICIDE to mark the occasion

i'd forgotten most of this until i saw that cover, including what year these things happened

I remember the reviews section featured headshots of each of 'The Critics' in the late 90s/early 00s which was very comical

I like the Long Blondes too, pass it on!

lol i forgot how hard critics hyped those first couple gybe! albums at the time. it would’ve worked if gybe! weren’t fucking awful.

radar was the name the nme's media section

ah right that rings a bell, thanks!

Randomly thought of this momentous thread yesterday and it turns out it's ten years old :/

Big thanks to kitchen person in this thread for putting me on to The Radio Dept. - have been thoroughly enjoying their output since last September.

Noodle Vague's run-down of the CONTENDERS from 2011 belongs in some sort of ILM Hall of Fame. It really is staggering how many verifiably awful bands all conspired to become famous and inescapable around the same time. I moved to the UK from Oz in 2005 so I blame myself.

Am I a dumbass for thinking “Shut Your Eyes” by Snow Patrol is a good song?

Remember the band South? I actually liked them and it holds up tbh. Are they a CONTENDER here? Or outside the category entirely?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-65558954

pretty funny pearl-clutching in the article:

Fan Saffie Yates, who had waited six years to see the band, said she first thought it was some sort of stunt.

She said: "It was very scary to see someone you respect behave like this.

"The bass player normally plays a couple of songs and it was his birthday yesterday. He wanted to play a third song and the lead singer went for him.

"He punched the bassist. I didn't know if it was part of the act.

"The band left the stage and the fans were hanging around waiting to see what would happen.

funny to see athlete at the bottom. the keyboardist went to my school - he gave a presentation about how the band got started, their influences etc

what was really funny was him talking about how their main influence was, of all things, grandaddy - they were apparently really keen on getting the same kind of decayed, lo--fi vibe as you get on songs like AM 180. i've listened to a few athlete tracks, scouring them for the remotest sign of that influence, and i've never been able to find anything. just another mediocre britpop band

for what it's worth, mornings eleven by the magic numbers still rocks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwobxaEoVaM

I interviewed that Athlete guy - Tim W - just before the release of their third album and he was super excited about some of the subtle production tricks on it; they’d just built their own studio and were self producing for the first time. I haven’t revisited it, but we talked about The Outsiders and Flying Over Bus Stops in particular. https://mikeatkinson.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/interview-tim-wanstall-of-athlete/

congratulations to Toploader for their very late challenge for the title

When the revolution comes they can be put on the queue for the guillotine

No queuing for Toploader, I'll open a new guillotine especially

I think in the name of a fairer, non-partisan class enemy cull, it would be quite equitable and justified to execute any bands that play at the Labour conference as well.

i'm pretty sure anybody that performs at a Lab or Tory conference was already on my gulag list on aesthetic grounds alone

I thought you liked The Strawbs?

Ok, saw a tweet saying Toploader are playing at the Lab conference and...it's sort of perfect?

No matter who you vote for, Toploader always get in.

isn't truss on record as liking Onka's Big Moka?

her legacy was more Magic Hotel

this twitter account that posts old photos from getty images is doing a weekend dedicated to 00's UK indie , and it's quite something

https://twitter.com/shitbritishpics

wow.
until now, i have never ever seen a picture of clor before.

ha that Kevin Bridges pic

I'd totally forgotten about the landfill-ized version of the Hollyoaks theme music

If you aren’t sure what any of these bands sound like, then just put this on as it could be 90% of them https://t.co/rTnLZO1AoP

— Great British 00s Indie Images (@shitbritishpics) October 22, 2023

You mean they haven't been using that theme for the entire 21st century?

Symposium are back together, end times

I'm sad I missed this original poll

The right (i.e. worst) two bands came out tops though

But I feel like I have opinions on almost every single of these bands and histories with a great deal of them also.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr5d04r634go

switched over to BBC 1 after Taskmaster finished last night to see the start of the 10 o clock news and instead got Toploader performing 'Dancing In The Moonlight' at the VE day concert, just cutting between shots of their dickhead frontman caterwauling and 100 year old wheelchair bound WWII vets in the audience, very unnerving stuff

I saw 5 seconds of that last night and nearly posted, just an inexplicably bizarre choice

Is it cool to like Yuck now? 😅

I’ve never heard 99% of these so I just had a random listen to the poll “winner.”

Yeesh, wtaf is this?

the VE day concert should have been entirely one-hit-wonders playing their one hit - Doctor And The Medics doing Spirit In The Sky, A Tribe Of Toffs doing John Kettley Is A Weatherman etc

I’ve never heard 99% of these so I just had a random listen to the poll “winner.”

Yeesh, wtaf is this?

Real England