Oh go on then: Worst Blur track

Ernold Same, obviously.

What's second worst?

I think it was once Proven By Science to be People In Europe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP0CIM1Yhkg

(Beard disqualified because it is so clearly a joke)

Oh, I thought PIE was also a joke, but hey.

People In Europe just has everything dislikeable about Blur. Blatant xenophobia, cheeky chappy Damon singing, irritating ba-ba-ba's, the fascist oom-pah oom-pahs, the relentless psuedo ironic piss-taking where you can never actually tell if they "meeaaan it, maaaaann" because Damon is incapable of ever being genuinely sincere, the most abrasively irritating guitar tone in the world, a phoned-in rhythm section.

It's one of those "jokes" that you suspect they're supposedly taking the piss out of themselves, but subconsciously self expressing some deeper true nature.

Yeah,

Was thinking that like photoedit in windows, there's three sliders for Blur tracks, "jokey" being one of them.

At the "zero" end is "No distance left to run", there's not many more that sit below 10%...

The thing is, people who really hate Blur tend to focus so much on the usual nauseating hits.

It actually takes a real Blur obsessive to even be aware of the real o_0 stuff like Es Schmect or Badgeman Brown or Mr Briggs.

Actually, scratch that, I really love Mr Briggs but I fully admit that it is, objectively, utterly terrible and far more worthy of a hater's contempt than obvious shit like Parklife. It's like every dumb shoegaze cliche with bad 90s grunge guitars overloaded one on top of another, with the most facile sub-Kinks mees Syd Barrett in a parlour psych teacup lyrics imaginable...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2CQ0JO37OU

(Actually that description makes it sound kind of awesome, if you like that kind of thing. Which I really do. But it's the kind of song I can imagine making, say, The Lex's ears bleed with sputtering indignation.)

How can you waste time hating on Girls and Boys when there is SUPA SHOPPA in the world?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjz1WwKoo9c&NR=1

If that flute does not make you want to claw your own ears out, you HAVE NO SOUL.

Two words that strike fear into every serious Blur fan's heart: THREADNEEDLE STREET

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUToCqvRNP8

^^^^^^that has the strange ability to make even Charmless Man seem charming by comparison. That guitar tone makes me want to seriously strangle Graham Coxon with his own strings.

As far as early album tracks go, "Fool" isn't very good.

But yeah, it's Ernold Same. Oh and I don't like Mr Robinson's Quango, mostly based on the fact the opening lines are "Oh, Mr Robinson... And his quango".

You guys better not be fucking with Supa Shoppa, right? I like all the instrumental and piss-takey Blur b-sides unconditionally.

On Threadneedle Street, take care to listen all the way to the excruciating chant that starts about 2:35...

CARZY BEAT

Dog Latin, I am a fully paid up Blur B-sides obsessive, but I am more than willing to admit that many, many of them, especially Supa Shoppa, are objectively terrible. It's nostalgia and scarcity that made them so dear to our hearts, not any kind of aesthetic worth.

He wrote a whole song about the new-fangled National Lottery! (At least Jarvis managed to contain it to a few lines in "Misfits")

Can we ignore the "lol, you bought this" b-sides of "End of a Century"?

crazy beat's really offensive. what's that horrible 20 minute drone track on Think Tank? That's pretty annoying. There are whole swathes of tunes on 13 I don't like - can't even remember how they go but I don't enjoy 1992 or Trailerpark.

Supa Shoppa is great on the Showtime gig.

20 min drone track, is that "Me, white noise"?

Cause that *did* make my top 22.

::NOT PREPARED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF THINK TANK::

Country Bad Salad Man is pretty tedious, too, because I'm starting to think that their B-sides are too obvious.

yeah, and it's a shame because it's the one track that Damon seemed most proud of at the time.

I like the idea of this thread, I enjoyed when someone did a Beach Boys one

Country Sad Ballad Man - you guys must be shrooming...

20 min drone track, is that "Me, white noise"?

This was the only track on "Think Tank" that I liked at the time.

Nobody's mentioned "Bang" yet??

b-sides and Think Tank notwithstanding, I may have to go w/ B.L.U.R.E.M.I.

I mean, you're all searching for b-sides and piss-takes while "Bang" is hiding in plain sight like bin Laden.

xpost

I have a soft spot for Bang. Don't see why people dislike it so much - there's a lot worse on Leisure.

Yeah,

Was thinking that like photoedit in windows, there's three sliders for Blur tracks, "jokey" being one of them.

At the "zero" end is "No distance left to run", there's not many more that sit below 10%...

― Mark G

No Distance Left to Run is good, a bit longer than it should be but definitely not their worst. what are you talking about.

I have a slight special fondness for Theme From An Imaginary Film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRh0ThBKQpc

even though it is truly just terrible and features a harpsichord solo, a synthsesised choir and a string arrangement that even, like, Final Fantasy would have dismissed as "um, Damon, that's really just a bit *too* camp..." (sorry Owen)

I mean, we won't even mention Ultranol or something, that's like shooting fish in a barrel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGPs6tgTFlE

Of my favourite bands, Blur really have the lowest quality control and the highest number of truly urgently skippable tracks. They were the band that programmable CD players were made for, back in the 90s. Like, never have a band made so many of my favourite, most loved songs, and some songs that make me have an almost violent negative reaction to.

Bang was the first Blur song I ever heard, and still one of my favourites, for a throwaway pop song, it's got a lot of subtlety - also one of the best basslines since New Order.

Theme From An Imaginary Film is great - I love Blur when they're all big boots and handstands - Till The Cows Come Home is akin with this.

No Distance Left To Run is abominable. Tender is only slightly better but that's not saying much.

Mayeb we should do a Beach Boys style track-by-track worst of?

Karen - it's Bang's bassline that I love about it too.

Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it, so no one else has to.

Song 2

Not just one of the worst Blur songs I ever heard, but the soundtrack to having my head kicked in by crowd surfing jocks so many times it produces an automatic cringe.

(I quite like No Distance Left To Run, but that was really down to seeing it performed live at secret gigs before the record came out, and it had a special kind of magic seeing it that intimate. Like, Damon seemed actually really quite nervous about performing it the first few times, and it was so *weird* to see him looking genuinely vulnerable for once, it was a shock.)

At the time, I was OK w/ Blur being latecomer Madchester also-rans & Bang is very rewarding in that regard - it has a great shuffle-beat groove.

i don't think "Song 2" is terrible per se, just rendered obnoxious by ubiquity and said jockery.

like i never wanna hear it again but it wasn't badly conceived

"No Distance Left to Run" has grown on me over the years, but it's not even close to being the worst song on "13" (that would be "BLUREMI" or "Trailerpark"). "Tender" is amazing, and I've never understood why it's so polarizing. All the usual criticisms ("it's too long", "terrible chorus", "sounds like they're trying to steal from Spiritualized") make no sense to me.

Yeah, fuck Song 2. I remember hearing it played live on Radio 1 before Blur came out, with Damon announcing "This is a new one - we don't have a name for it yet"... And just thinking, "well that's a cute little throwaway bit of Nirvana fluff - I wonder if it'll be a b-side?". No, it became their biggest international hit and the bane of every student club night i attended 1999-2002.

"Tender" is great cos it has one or two very affecting lines and i don't have any emotional investment in Blur as a concept so i don't care who it sounds like.

At the time, I was OK w/ Blur being latecomer Madchester also-rans & Bang is very rewarding in that regard - it has a great shuffle-beat groove.

I hated it (and still hate it) for exactly the same reasons ...

Song 2 is still played regularly at American sporting events.

NoMeansNo - Tender is terrible because of the reasons you mentioned (other than the Spiritualized comparison, which is wrong). It's just a chore of a song and a massive skipbuttonpusher coming in right at the beginning of 13. It begs and pleads the listener to "get through it" - all six or seven minutes of it. By the end it feels like Damon's shaking you by the lapels to keep you from falling asleep. The "Oh my bay-eebeh" refrain is tawdry (although very popular with live audiences when I saw them at Glasto). I guess it was good the first time I heard it, but it soon got irritating.

I can deal with Trailerpark because I like the beat and I like the weird thereminny noises. B.L.U.R.E.M.I. is just unlistenable. But I never really liked their shouty "punque" songs - I also hate Chinese Bombs, Globe Alone and feel ambivalent about Bank Holiday (I will put up with that because of that A! G! A!I!N!!" bit)

That really felt like a part of Graham's contribution to the band I could do without, like, it was the token punk songs to placate Graham but I really liked them better in the beginning when it was more blankets of shoegazery Dinosaur Jr type guitar noise than the spikey abrasive jerky punk stuff.

Like, Graham's noisy guitar fetish was good for me when he wanted to be in My Bloody Valentine, not so good for me when he wanted to be in Minor Threat.

Trailerpark was going to be on the South Park Movie soundtrack - imagine...

I think the wretched Donald Duck vox move BLUREMI past token "throwaway filler punk song" status & into a rarefied level of irritability.

I still really love Song 2. Reclaim it from the idiots!

Tender is OK, apart from the fact that it goes on really entirely a little too long, it's a song that completely outstays its welcome, especially as an album opener. It'd have been fine as an album closer, but I guess it was thematic.

I have a pretty strange attitude towards "best" and "worst" when it comes to Blur because granted, for years and years, Leisure was my favourite album (unless they'd released that aborted second ablum between Leisure and Modern Life Is Rubbish, in which case that would have been my favourite, Badgeman Brown or no.)

But really, I'd rather read/contribute to a "worst of" Blur thread than a "best of" because often they really are the same thing.

I think the wretched Donald Duck vox move BLUREMI past token "throwaway filler punk song" status & into a rarefied level of irritability.

This, too, except I hate Damon's vocals so much I'd rather they were pinkie-and-perkified to death. But that'll get us into "Alex's Song" and I'm sorry but I just can't.

I think the wretched Donald Duck vox move BLUREMI past token "throwaway filler punk song" status & into a rarefied level of irritability.

Yes, and then they decided it was such a good idea, they released Crazy Beat as a single.

I was just happy to see that annoying vocal trick done to Damon and not Alex for once.

^^^^x-post

...because then I would have to admit that yes, the answer to this question is "Alex's Song" but really it is SO NOT HIS FAULT, it was a perfectly reasonable cute little song that was sabotauged by jealous lead singer frontmen songwriters.

(Which they did repeatedly to Alex, because I mean, look at the two versions of Far Out?)

It's got to be on something else as well, because I don't think I have the No Distance DVD but I definitely have the song. I think it's called the "Beagle 2" mix and it was a b-side, will have to check my B-sides box set when I get home.

I don't actually know where my Me Me Me single has got to, which is really upsetting given it's really rare and quite valuable now. The b-sides were even jauntier if that's possible. I wish the real video existed on YouTube as well.

I remember one of the B-Sides being very lovely and Barrett-like...'Hold the front page'

Hollywood Wives. Yes.

*roots around on Blogspot for gratification*

http://www.vblurpage.com/info/songlist/all.htm

This is a really good "All the blur tracks" page, and sources.

The "no Distance" single isn't best compiled on that Blur b-sides boxbag, it's only the side A and the Tender remix.

Beagle 2 is on the 'real' single CD, one of them anyway. In which case, I have it and will track it down...

I could still get misty eyed at the multi-part Select Magazaine Blur Songs article, saddo that I obv am.

maresnest if you want a copy of that i can send you a scan. think it was mark g who originally sent it to me.

Hey DL, that'd be great thanks, if you PM me. I might zip up the B-Sides gig and post a link if anyone's interested.

um... need an email. mine is dog latin at gee mail dot com

Got-yer

Tender is pretty abysmal, I still wonder if Damon can listen to the "oh my baby, oh my baby, oh why, oh why" bit without realising why she dumped him.

I dunno, Got Yer has this creepy air of menace that redeems the oompah-ness of it all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ9SA6Dm-b0

Also the ending is strangely terrifying.

if "oh my baby" isn't taking the piss out of himself then nothing is

Offhand (I may be wrong) but I think the "Oh my baby" bits are actually Graham?

Because I'm almost certain that he occasionally took the piss and sang "oh my gravy, oh my gravy, oh fries, oh fries" (or maybe that was us)

But I never really liked their shouty "punque" songs - I also hate Chinese Bombs, Globe Alone and feel ambivalent about Bank Holiday (I will put up with that because of that A! G! A!I!N!!" bit)

OTM. I'll always maintain that this is the worst side of Blur and it's kind of exasperating how they managed to fit at least one awful song in this style on every album from Parklife onwards, regardless of what the rest of the record sounds like.

That said, I'm going with 'Mr. Robinson's Quango' because the lyrics are terrible and it has a completely misleading (and great) intro - those first ten seconds trick you into thinking it's going to be another 'Trouble in the Message Centre' or 'Advert' or something but no, it's like 'Country House' but much, much worse.

I forgot about "Entertain Me" - especially the Live It! remix which was the pinnacle of Blur turning into a '90s boyband..

wow you people are all crazy. gotta say! My love for Blur was only intensified with each campy, shouty, fuzzy b-side I ever laid my hands on. A few I can't remember clearly, but nothing made me as angry as when I tried to wade through the non-singles on 13. Truly this is a band where two sets of fans exist.

...I think that in the end, the Morrocan People's Revolutionary Club pissed me off the most. Stuff like Uncle Love, People in Europe, Es Schmect? I love!

oh shit. I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THINK TANK! That's what I meant. 13 was boring but Think Tank is like they pissed on my childhood!

Yeah, I was going to say that my taste in Blur songs is basically the opposite of Karen's on this thread, but I think it's more that there just aren't many Blur songs I actually dislike. "Tender" might be the only time they've really disappointed me. Such a boring way to start an otherwise great album. "Crazy Beat" is lame but I find it easier to ignore.

"Chinese Bombs" or "Bank Holiday". Going with "Chinese Bombs", I guess. "13" is crowded with horrible tunes, but none is as horrible as these two.

Cuntry house woad

Always thought "Song #2" was a pointless Nirvana rip

OK, Ive decided "I'm just a killer for your love" is my vote.

really? i thought people liked that one. there's loads of sub-"killer" dirges on 13 that are much worse.

Well, it seems totally fake, and it's probably dammned by being the one duff (for me) track on "Blur", so maybe that's why.

haven't heard a blur track since '13'. they did a lot of bad-joke b-sides in their 'pomp' but so much of '13' was properly unlistenable, anonymous, noisy shit, and i sort of think that's worse. the ken livingstone one though, really, has to be the nadir.

MOR and Moving On are the worst tracks on Blur for me.. Dull dull dull mid-tempo rubbish. MOR is even called MOR.

But MOR has that great back and forth call and response chant bit which was always the highlight of a live show.

Also, Alan Moulder, which is an automatic +1 in my book.

the ken livingstone one though, really, has to be the nadir.

Oh yeah, revert my vote back to that one pronto.

..next to same old whatsisname.

ugh.

I remember trying to convince someone once that 13 was good, and Blur had "never done a bad album". On came the track 'Battle' ruining my point somewhat.

So, I say 'Battle'

You must be shrooming

Battle for me = 13's Oily Water. Beautiful slo-mo shoegazy stuff and the highlight of their set when I saw them at Reading '99. Lovely respite between the "la la la" singalongs of the rest of their set.

Hey DL, thanks again for the Select scans, much appreciated man.

Wrong time of year for mushrooms.

The backing's OK to be honest, It's the vocal delivery which completely proves the point that some tracks should be left as instrumentals.

"ba-l, ba-l, ba-l, ba-l"

Lol, still cracks me up

I was wrong; it wasn't Moroccan.. that bugged me. I'm moving my vote to Battle because it always seemed so.. dirgy.

Was it "We've got a file on you" ?

NO!!! Stop dissing on Battle you guys :'(

I wasn't.

I *like* the shouty quick Blur songs so File and Bluremi were almost my favourites off the latter albums! It's the slow, depressed, fuzzy guitar songs that don't give me that blur feel

So many candidates on The Great Escape.

Battle is great. I guess I'm in the minority in thinking that 13 is the best blur album.

I also like all the shouty punk songs. Oasis never did shouty punk songs. Neither did Pulp - it's what made Blur who they were. Their albums were incomplete without a mere 2 and a half minutes of Graham letting go and thrashing while Damon did his ridiculous Johnny Rotten impression. They needed it. And you needed it or else they'd be remembered as this band that only ever did oom-pah singalongs and mopey ballads. Oh wait...

And without those, Supergrass wouldn't have released 'Caught By The Fuzz'

Any chance of sending those select scans my way, DL? (ismaelklata at gmail dot com if so, thanks)

"Don't Bomb When You Are the Bomb"

That was #2 on my best songs ballot.

That version of "Far Out" is GODLIKE.

It is - thanks to KDT for drawing attention to it. I've been playing it to Blurfan friends when they come round and you can tell it's great by the expressions on their faces.