To: BBC Radio 1 Radio 1 have announced its plans to kill off the long-running Evening Session. As all music fans are aware, this is a disgrace. It's a disgrace that it has taken this long to kick an ageing, warped-faced Doc Marten-wearing overgrown Indie Kid out of his office and onto the streets with only a Wedding Present box-set to live inside.
Just what took so long? Had Lamacq barricaded himself in, wired his torso with explosives and set the bomb to go off if any record was broadcasted in the Evening Session's time-slot managed to increase any listeners' heartbeat above fifty beats-per-minute? Don't tell us. It's too late, and we're not interested.
So, in a similar way to Chuck-D demanding reparations for the hundreds of years of sins of the White Devil on the Black Race, we demand reparations for damages to our soul. Our full list of demands will be forwarded when we've thought of them. Until then, the following will have to do:
1) A 1984-style purge on the BBC and public records, removing any reference to the Evening Session, Steve Lamacq or four-square Indie-rock.
2) For the hours of the departed evening session, broadcast only a voice repeating: "Nothing has ever been on at this time. Ever. It was all a bad dream. Forget. Forget now". Communicate with the CIA to make sure the subliminal enhancement is of sufficient level to cause cerebral damage in even the most hardened of Followers.
3) The presence of four men with guitars within 100m of one another with the intent of "playing" a "song" based on the chord progressions or misjudged asceticism of The Beatles, The Stone Roses, The Jam, The Clash or - Heaven forbid - Manic Street Preachers to be judged as falling foul of the Criminal Justice Bill. Hanging is too good for these people.
4) The ritual slaughter of anyone who by action, through inaction, allowed an eighth-rate polyp of a record - played by three-to-four equally dolt-like simpletons who think Glamour is a stupid-sized magazine their big sister carries around in her purse - to be played on the Evening Session.
5) The ceremonial humiliation of any man, woman or child stupid enough to be seen in public wearing what is known as a "band t-shirt" or "hoodie" by continuing the self-imposed bullying my tattooing the aforementioned "band"'s "name" onto the subject's chest with a military-precise laser. And a piece of broken glass.
6) Any former Evening Session listener found using the word "Shine" in their day-to-day vocabulary, or judging musical worth with the out-dated, reactionary and downright pathetic terminology of: "soul", "authenticity" or "realness" to assume the mantle of verisimilitude they deserve, whilst strapped to the end of Saddam Hussein's latest batch of Scud Missiles and sent flying towards Morrisey's house at twice the speed of sound.
7) The brain of the offspring of any known evening session listener (hereafter to be referred to as "hellspawn") be electronically altered. Anytime they should be unfortunate enough to hear an example of "indie" "rock", the neural receptors in the temporal lobe will instead interpret this as either Sugababes' "Round Round" or "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany.
A crack-squad of commando mid-wives (recruited from the ranks of captured Taliban soldiers currently held at Camp X-Ray) will be assigned to random perform checks of known "hellspawn". If any "hellspawn" should be found that have not had the required surgery carried out, a macroscopic syringe shall be inserted into their brainstem. This will contain a high-strength cocktail of strychnine, rohypnol and lysergic acid diethylamide. Should said "hellspawn" ever try to experience "indie" "rock" later in life, this chemical charge shall be delivered directly into the hypothalamus, thus causing instant shutdown of the autonomic nervous system, leaving the 'hellspawn" in a proto-comatose state similar to that of your average Evening Session listener.
That'll do for starters.
If you would like to the Evening Session to be purged from the public consciousness, leave your views here:
http://www.petitiononline.com/sess1on/petition.html
Sincerely,
The Workers Collective Of Uptown (Top Rankin') E13
― Clare Falry, Wednesday, 11 September 2002 09:34 (twenty-three years ago)
― the pinefox, Wednesday, 11 September 2002 09:53 (twenty-three years ago)
― Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 13:52 (twenty-three years ago)
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 15:21 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:05 (twenty-three years ago)
― Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:12 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)
Can we sack 'peely' too...
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:31 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:33 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:35 (twenty-three years ago)
still listening to lamacq, some gurl just told a story abt how she lost a shoe in a moshpit at a jj72 gig. criminy!
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:38 (twenty-three years ago)
still listening. the new death in vegas, what rub, i thought it was some indie no mark (and it is).
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:40 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:42 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:49 (twenty-three years ago)
"isn't everybody tired of the dying! HEY! HEY!"
martin luther king sample!!!
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)
this single they are playing. It's punk this 'I don't want to kill' they say. angry stuff bob...
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 18:56 (twenty-three years ago)
Dom = talking bollox. oh look now it's blak twang! on a wall of sound offshoot label! lamacq you cool! cool! you cool! that must be why "kik off" got to number 2 in dom's chart.
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:04 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:06 (twenty-three years ago)
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)
here's a band called mint royale. BUH-bye!
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)
You ever listen to Dave Pearce?
― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)
You'd rather listen to Westwood = your opinions are declared invalid under the 1995 "Tommy Boy Payola" law.
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 21:42 (twenty-three years ago)
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)
Just to say that BTW I'm very very sorry abt the cancer stuff. It's idiotic and it comes from a 23 year old that doesn't know shit abt life. apologies if anyone is angered by it...
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 22:01 (twenty-three years ago)
― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)
I'm serious abt the ant-evening gsession thing. his choice of recs is poor. John kennedy at XFM can do a far better job than lamcq and that is that.
I still like indie. I think there's some decent stuff being put out but that isn't reflected on the evening session.
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)
― Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Wednesday, 11 September 2002 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)
― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 12 September 2002 00:15 (twenty-three years ago)
― keith, Thursday, 12 September 2002 00:51 (twenty-three years ago)
this isn't another jibe from Mr Carlin, surely? somehow the opening post seems more obvious and flat in its "humour" than Marcello ever is
― robin carmody, Thursday, 12 September 2002 01:46 (twenty-three years ago)
I'd be less pissed off if I didn't think its replacement would be a) some overpromoted researched stumbling through two hours of "urban" music, or b) The Kiddiemosh Nu-Metal Hour.
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 12 September 2002 05:50 (twenty-three years ago)
keith: mwah!
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 12 September 2002 09:12 (twenty-three years ago)
― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 12 September 2002 09:20 (twenty-three years ago)
― Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Thursday, 12 September 2002 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)
I would rather not actualy listen to it but there is a place for a dedicated new/indie rock music show on Radio 1.
I agree, but I always thought that Lamacq did get far too much airtime considering his rather narrow tastes. Personally, I think they should either dump him entirely, or bust him down to 1 show a week. I would really like to see his dreary sh0w replaced by 4 or 5 other specialist shows. I think I posted on another thread that I would love a weekly Robin Carmody &/or D.J. Martian evening show. All the moreso now. You can probably work out thee chances ov that ever happening, so I'm afraid thee radio stays off in thee evening in our household. And yes hataz, I have listened to Lamacq's show on numerous occasions, and I did not like it one little bit. Not b/c ov just not liking his musick either, it's the narrowness, both stylistick and regional that got up my nose, & when he did occasionally venture out ov LoNDoN, it always amazed me that all thee regional bands he did pick up on whenever he came up to thee northeast sounded like husker du surprise surprise (sigh)
― N0RM4N PH4Y P0S70R!NG FR0M W3RK, Thursday, 12 September 2002 11:39 (twenty-three years ago)
Like Norman said, I think as much as 2/3 of what he plays are acceptable, it's just the attitude (and by extension the other records he chooses to play that completely makes me not want to listen. And if anything the regional ones are worse (I used to get the Welsh one when I was in Wales and it was all Murry the Hump, Murry the Hump. SHUT UP)
― Graham (graham), Thursday, 12 September 2002 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)
But have you seen the touted replacements for Lammo in this week's NME:
Colin Murray Northern Ireland Lammo Clone
Zane Lowe - Kiwi MTV presenter/ Xfm DJ - awful music taste - typical mainstream Hip Hop (that now has a home on 1Xtra) and Nu Metal.
Mike Davies - annoying Yank Radio 1 Lock up DJ awful yoof oriented culture music, bog standard modern punk, punk pop, emo, hardcore rock and some hip hop
On a related note John Peel has just turned 63, will the BBC retire him at 65? Under employment law could they let him go as he has reached retirement age without much fuss? Who would be a replacement?
Some candidates
Ross Allen, BBC London
Steve Barker BBC Lancashire
Keith Cameron, ex Xfm
Dave Clarke
Dave Howell (fat Cat and ex Obsessive Eye)
Trevor Jackson
David Keenan
John Kennedy, Xfm
Kevin Martin
Tom Mugridge/ Duncan Bell (Leftfield section of Muzik magazine)
Andrew Weatherall
Simon Williams, ex Xfm - best daytime show ever on Xfm
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 12 September 2002 12:15 (twenty-three years ago)
As a side issue DJ M, 1Xtra can hardly be got by anyone cause it's on digital only. I'm sure you're keen to shunt hip-hop into the 1Xtra ghetto but it was set up to ensure more urban music gets on the air, not less.
― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 12 September 2002 12:20 (twenty-three years ago)
― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 12 September 2002 12:44 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 12 September 2002 13:31 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 12 September 2002 13:33 (twenty-three years ago)
now if only the radio 1 roadshow was still doing Martian and I could do it from Sidmouth and bemuse the bored holidaymakers :).
― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 12 September 2002 16:18 (twenty-three years ago)
― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 12 September 2002 16:19 (twenty-three years ago)
Zane Lowe is probably the best DJ type out of the three, just his taste in music is a bit iffy. I do get the feeling that the 'favourite' thing might be NME's invention as well...
― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 13 September 2002 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)
Not quite true as it's available on sky digital (5.7 million subscribers), cable, and the internet. Quite how many who'd listen to 1xtra would choose to do so that way is quite a different thing entirely though.
― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 13 September 2002 14:35 (twenty-three years ago)
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:24 (twenty-three years ago)
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:30 (twenty-three years ago)
― Tom (Groke), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:37 (twenty-three years ago)
Nick Southall used to post here, right? Does he still? Anyway, a couple of weeks back, on my blog, I criticised BleedMusic for doing their big "Down with the Evening Session, death to tedious power pop indie shite by white boys with no soul" schtick, whilst the lead article on their webpage was... an interview with Idlewild. Just searched for Mr Southall's posts on ILM. From the "Last Five records you bought" thread:
Five old Idlewild singles from eil.com, You're So Fragile, Film For The Future, Actually It's Darkness and both CDs of These Wooden Ideas.
I can hear irony flatlining from here.
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:45 (twenty-three years ago)
― mark s (mark s), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 September 2002 11:55 (twenty-three years ago)
ZANE LOWE
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 17 October 2002 20:11 (twenty-three years ago)
NO! to Zane Lowe - Keep it British !
send him back to NZ on a convict ship and take the Datsuns on board, and drop the Vines off in OZ on the way ! aaaaaaaahhhh ! naff antipodeans.
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 17 October 2002 20:17 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 17 October 2002 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 17 October 2002 21:13 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 17 October 2002 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)
― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 17 October 2002 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)
What good sense!
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 18 October 2002 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)
― bob zemko (bob), Friday, 18 October 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)
― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 10 November 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)
― Feargal Hixxy (DJ Mencap), Friday, 10 November 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)
― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)
― Whoof Vague-o-Rama (noodle vague), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)
― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)
― Whoof Vague-o-Rama (noodle vague), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)
― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)
― Whoof Vague-o-Rama (noodle vague), Friday, 10 November 2006 19:28 (nineteen years ago)
so much great here
― acrobat, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:06 (eighteen years ago)
Pretty much a 50/50 split between posts very much in character and ilxor veterans-to-be still searching for their internet persona. Worthy revive!
― DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:38 (eighteen years ago)
Looks like bullying to me.
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:43 (eighteen years ago)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:56 (eighteen years ago)
It's the old Dom Passantino!
― acrobat, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:57 (eighteen years ago)
:D
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:58 (eighteen years ago)
http://www.ultimatedisney.com/images/m-p/mmcbjc-02.jpg
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 13:59 (eighteen years ago)
OMG that Martian post.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 14:21 (eighteen years ago)
There are some wicked b-sides on those Idlewild singles, btw.
― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 14:45 (eighteen years ago)
B-b-but Dom you *are* the new Nick Southall!! ;) -- Tom (Groke), Monday, September 23, 2002 12:37 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link
emoticon
― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)
Does this mean L0u1s J@gger is the new Dom Passantino?
― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 16:53 (eighteen years ago)
steve "return of" whatisname and jo whiley, on radio six, now
playing sleeper
this is some hot tub time machine ish, only not wack
― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Friday, 2 April 2010 18:02 (fifteen years ago)
Why did they do this exactly, aside from whatever it is that is driving an urge to get 90s revivalism under way? Anyway, I'm listening to it now on iPlayer
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00rrd05/Steve_Lamacq_02_04_2010/
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s236/mezxspectrum/eveningsession.jpg
Jo Whiley was pretty cute back in the day, huh?
― Duke Newsom (DavidM), Saturday, 3 April 2010 10:25 (fifteen years ago)
Why did they do this exactly, aside from whatever it is that is driving an urge to get 90s revivalism under way?
wasn't sure if it was meant as part of the SAVE 6MUSIC thing, but yea, clearly a significant milestone in the 90s revival
― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Saturday, 3 April 2010 17:38 (fifteen years ago)
But have you seen the touted replacements for Lammo in this week's NME:Colin Murray Northern Ireland Lammo CloneZane Lowe - Kiwi MTV presenter/ Xfm DJ - awful music taste - typical mainstream Hip Hop (that now has a home on 1Xtra) and Nu Metal.Mike Davies - annoying Yank Radio 1 Lock up DJ awful yoof oriented culture music, bog standard modern punk, punk pop, emo, hardcore rock and some hip hop
― Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Sunday, 15 March 2015 19:21 (ten years ago)
poll!
― Mark G, Sunday, 15 March 2015 19:33 (ten years ago)
naw, he was definitely a kiwi
― Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Sunday, 15 March 2015 19:37 (ten years ago)