things that fatuous assholes say all good music must have in order to be good music

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'soul'

some dude, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

'balls'

some dude, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

'truth'

some dude, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

'eyebrows'

Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

'a beat'

tanuki, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:16 (thirteen years ago)

'guitars'

flopson, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:19 (thirteen years ago)

'a drop'

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:21 (thirteen years ago)

'warmth'

flopson, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:22 (thirteen years ago)

'knowledge of history'

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:23 (thirteen years ago)

'music'

You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God (crüt), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:24 (thirteen years ago)

'emotion'

althea and (donna rouge), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:34 (thirteen years ago)

'real instruments'

althea and (donna rouge), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:34 (thirteen years ago)

'the amen break'

stan this sick bunt (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:35 (thirteen years ago)

'melody'

j., Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:38 (thirteen years ago)

'no auto-tune/processed vocals'

althea and (donna rouge), Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:40 (thirteen years ago)

'real instruments'

otmfm

tanuki, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:46 (thirteen years ago)

'chord changes'

flopson, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:47 (thirteen years ago)

"All music should be bitch tracks and vogue house (or feature Roxanne Shanté in some capacity)"

But then again, that's true.

Kevin John Bozelka, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:49 (thirteen years ago)

'analog'

Chris S, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:50 (thirteen years ago)

more in reference to the Jack Whites who only use certain classic pedals, recording equipment, etc.

Chris S, Sunday, 11 March 2012 19:53 (thirteen years ago)

guitar solos in tune.

Stevolende, Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:36 (thirteen years ago)

'a beat'
'real instruments'

these 2 by far and away the most common.

my pet hate is 'Classic Songwriting'

fuck deathcore and metalcore (Algerian Goalkeeper), Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:39 (thirteen years ago)

'talent'

flagp∞st (dayo), Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:43 (thirteen years ago)

"Pitbull"

gospodin simmel, Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:43 (thirteen years ago)

"rough edges"

Luomas (admrl), Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:46 (thirteen years ago)

"a chorus"

Luomas (admrl), Sunday, 11 March 2012 20:46 (thirteen years ago)

"a vibe"

0O0O0O0O0 (Matt #2), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:12 (thirteen years ago)

"complexity"

this is prog rock assholes only tbh

0O0O0O0O0 (Matt #2), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:13 (thirteen years ago)

a 'breakdown'

fuck deathcore and metalcore (Algerian Goalkeeper), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:15 (thirteen years ago)

I just saw this question on 'Family Feud' so this is kind of cheating, but:

'originality'

Up With Hoople (Dr. Joseph A. Ofalt), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:24 (thirteen years ago)

intelligence
hooks
builds
style/elegance
subtlety
passion

etc

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:28 (thirteen years ago)

technique
taste

we can be gyros just for one day (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:30 (thirteen years ago)

attitude

Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:33 (thirteen years ago)

authenticity
honesty

Andy K, Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:34 (thirteen years ago)

racial purity

Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:35 (thirteen years ago)

'a bridge'

some dude, Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:36 (thirteen years ago)

'swing'

^^^ found myself saying that a lot last week but i was being a fatuous asshole

Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:37 (thirteen years ago)

needs to sound good played through an 80s car stereo

Sylv_ebanks (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:37 (thirteen years ago)

'booty'

arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:47 (thirteen years ago)

White people
Black people
Lyrics

Virtual Bart (EDB), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:48 (thirteen years ago)

'swing'

^^^ found myself saying that a lot last week but i was being a fatuous asshole

― Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Sunday, March 11, 2012 5:37 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

that's not a nice thing to call xhuxk

some dude, Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:51 (thirteen years ago)

it has to know the rules before it can break them

the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Sunday, 11 March 2012 22:06 (thirteen years ago)

'a story'

owenf, Sunday, 11 March 2012 22:58 (thirteen years ago)

'deepness'

Chewshabadoo, Sunday, 11 March 2012 23:08 (thirteen years ago)

'meaning'

rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Sunday, 11 March 2012 23:11 (thirteen years ago)

the mark of a real song is whether it can be played on an acoustic guitar.

Θ ̨Θƪ (sic), Monday, 12 March 2012 00:34 (thirteen years ago)

swag

It's sad he was a blogger (symsymsym), Monday, 12 March 2012 00:36 (thirteen years ago)

"beats"

Mr. Snrub, Monday, 12 March 2012 01:20 (thirteen years ago)

lyrics

ho don't kno I'm bout that skrillex (Pillbox), Monday, 12 March 2012 01:27 (thirteen years ago)

"music"

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Monday, 12 March 2012 01:29 (thirteen years ago)

"me"

Mark G, Monday, 12 March 2012 09:58 (thirteen years ago)

"rock n roll"

Chris S, Monday, 12 March 2012 10:01 (thirteen years ago)

specifically about rap:

"narrative that thankfully eschews gangsta/materialistic tropes"

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Monday, March 12, 2012 3:22 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha, yes

Suede - the fabric, not the band (DL), Monday, 12 March 2012 10:06 (thirteen years ago)

"Unprocessed/natural feel", "organic sound", and anything related to "lo-fi" are my pet peeve qualifiers, especially when they relate to electronic music that, you know, is by definition synthetic and not "organic". More often than not they refer to stuff which was produced quickly and cheaply, and which as a result sounds like shit, as if paying proper attention to how your music sounds is somehow a cardinal sin.

Tuomas, Monday, 12 March 2012 10:41 (thirteen years ago)

memorable chorus
hummable chorus

john-claude van donne (schlump), Monday, 12 March 2012 11:11 (thirteen years ago)

soul? ha! I don't want to any more of a fatuous asshole than I already am. So give me that souless music!

nicky lo-fi, Monday, 12 March 2012 14:24 (thirteen years ago)

'A tune'

Homosexual Satan Wasp (Matt DC), Monday, 12 March 2012 14:25 (thirteen years ago)

"Occur within the frequency range 20-20kHz."

rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Monday, 12 March 2012 14:29 (thirteen years ago)

"best new music"

Morrissey & Clunes: The Severed Alliance (PaulTMA), Monday, 12 March 2012 14:40 (thirteen years ago)

"angular"

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 00:37 (thirteen years ago)

impossible to play live

NEEDS MORE BOIIING (seandalai), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 00:47 (thirteen years ago)

CHOPS

some dude, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:15 (thirteen years ago)

or sometimes conversely,

'doesn't require chops' / 'anyone can play/write it'

Chris S, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:46 (thirteen years ago)

'unpretentious'

Chris S, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:46 (thirteen years ago)

'no solos' / 'no effects' / 'no nonsense'

Chris S, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:47 (thirteen years ago)

no cowbell

Mark G, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 09:52 (thirteen years ago)

"greasy funk"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 12:46 (thirteen years ago)

"something the postman can whistle"

Who wants to listen to their postman whistling?

Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 12:57 (thirteen years ago)

"no funk no fuzz no thanx"

also, "what is this garbage? i don't hear a steel guitar."

one dis leads to another (ian), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:01 (thirteen years ago)

Cutting Edge

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:04 (thirteen years ago)

I think you mean Cutting Crew

tanuki, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:12 (thirteen years ago)

"R&B"

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:12 (thirteen years ago)

you guys have just named like every possible thing that could be good about music

a little tiny crunk person (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:13 (thirteen years ago)

Extra cheese. And no anchovies.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

thin crust tho

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:15 (thirteen years ago)

cut in squares

a little tiny crunk person (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:15 (thirteen years ago)

can we make this the rolling bob lefsetz thread?

goole, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:29 (thirteen years ago)

plaid

Morrissey & Clunes: The Severed Alliance (PaulTMA), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 19:31 (thirteen years ago)

xpost We can't make this the Lefsetz thread, because back in the day the thread ,was all about the connection. I remember the first time I read the Rolling Doom thread, back in my dorm room at school. My girlfriend had just dumped me - but this thread spoke my language. It was honest and true. There was no bullshit about bonus posts, no tacky marketing. But once you read the thread you were hooked. That's where today's ILXers have gone worng. They've forgotten about the connection. They think it's all about the sell. They think some snide asides about some give-a-shit laptop act are enough to get the people on their side. They think all you have to do is post. They're wrong. You gotta post. You gotta hope the post makes a connection, with the kids in their dorm rooms. You gotta work that post. You gotta post in every forum from here to Helena, Montana. Then - and only then - can you say you've made this the official Lefsetz thread.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 20:39 (thirteen years ago)

Sorry for typos.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 20:39 (thirteen years ago)

lol well done

goole, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 20:41 (thirteen years ago)

Brilliant.

we can be gyros just for one day (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 20:42 (thirteen years ago)

Ok, who is bob lefsetz?

I Fucked Up (jer.fairall), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 21:24 (thirteen years ago)

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/who-is-bob-lefsetz/

thuggish ruggish Brahms (DJP), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 21:30 (thirteen years ago)

you guys have just named like every possible thing that could be good about music

― a little tiny crunk person (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, March 13, 2012 3:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the idea here is that no one thing can be a universal barometer of worthwhile music. obviously there's nothing inherently wrong with most of these qualities in and of themselves, it's just bullshit to hold up their absence as a dealbreaker.

some dude, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 21:39 (thirteen years ago)

xpost It's great that in his own biog, Lefsetz pays tribute to his own "intense brilliance".

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 21:47 (thirteen years ago)

much better actual answer to that question: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2012/02/mf_lefsetz/

some dude, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 21:52 (thirteen years ago)

you guys have just named like every possible thing that could be good about music

Not like we agree about everything you know. Personally I think it is a HUGE advantage if a song HAS a great tune, great chord changes and a killer chorus. :)

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 22:06 (thirteen years ago)

i know some dude

a little tiny crunk person (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 22:16 (thirteen years ago)

Nate Dogg.

All Flowers Must Fade, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 23:41 (thirteen years ago)

I have written a song that contains all of these things AND NONE OF THEM

owenf, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 23:43 (thirteen years ago)

i know some dude

― a little tiny crunk person (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, March 13, 2012 5:16 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

we all do

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 00:46 (thirteen years ago)

i owe you a hundred favors

some dude, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 00:47 (thirteen years ago)

Read the wired profile. I liked him when he pissed off kid rock and then became less interested when he made up with kid rock.

I Fucked Up (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 01:24 (thirteen years ago)

'staying power'

Sébastien, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 13:23 (thirteen years ago)

'relevance'

MarkoP, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 14:40 (thirteen years ago)

'a rating above 8.0'

MarkoP, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 14:41 (thirteen years ago)

Nate Dogg.

― All Flowers Must Fade, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 10:41

chilling post/dn combo on the anniversary of his death

otm, too

Θ ̨Θƪ (sic), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 23:10 (thirteen years ago)

eleven years pass...

underrated thread...

scott seward, Wednesday, 1 November 2023 19:05 (one year ago)

'notes'

Jordan s/t (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 November 2023 19:18 (one year ago)


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