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Songs that are not about being in/out of love, sex, music, being high/intoxicated, self-empowerment, political issues or feelings towards any of those things

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lets make a list...the only rule is they have to have lyrics (not samples)

first up...

Kraftwerk 'Pocket Calculator'

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Alexi Sayle "Hello Jon, Got A New Motor?"

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Jasper Carrot "My Funky Moped"

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Beach Boys "Sloop John B."

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Chas n' Dave 'Rabbit' and 'Sideboard Song'

and Adam Ant's 'Apollo 9' just entered my head but i'm not totally sure what thats about and it could include one or more of the above

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:42 (twenty-three years ago)

The Piranhas "Zambezi"

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Rheostatics - "The Ballad of Wendel Clark" but "Torque Torque" fits the above threads better.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Elton John "Rocket Man" & David Bowie "Space Oddity" but these two tracks could be interpreted as "drug songs, maan".

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

i suppose what i'm really looking for is songs about quite insignificant things of no real relevance...songs not really about anything altho but not just gibberish (altho that might work also)

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

there's a soft machine song where wyatt just sings the alphabet

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Bad Manners "Lip Up Fatty"

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

The Who "Boris The Spider"


― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Estate Sale - Melanie

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Divine Comedy w/ Fr. Ted and Fr. Dougal "My Lovely Horse"

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

that's abt sex derek

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

"My Lovely Horse"?

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:53 (twenty-three years ago)

DAMN. I had a long list of Cure songs that is now useless.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Alfredo's


Our name is ALL and we wrote this song
It's not very good, people say it's too long
Well listen up Alfredo, this is for you
The reason why we wrote this is to get some free food!

We want: Massive enchiladas with rice and beans!
We want: Two beef tacos, #10 that means!
We want: Chicken tostadas, lots of beans and rice!
We want: Lots of cokes and lots of ice!

¥

― christoff (christoff), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:56 (twenty-three years ago)

The Kids In The Hall "Daves I Know"

Bruce: [Spoken] Hi, I'm Bruce McCulloch. I'd like to tell you about the Daves I know.

[Singing: ]
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

David Hoffman
He works in my dad's store
He's worked here for 12 years
He'll probably work here for more

These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

Dave Gort
I've known since I was six
In grade eight he broke his leg
So we got drunk and sick

These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

Some of them are Davids
[Dave Gort: But most of us are Daves]
They all have their own hands
But they come from different moms

These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

Dave Jadiski
Man, this cat can swing
He weighs almost 50 pounds
And he delivers my paper on time

These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

Dave Capisano
I hardly know him
...
[Bruce stands around, looking vaguely uncomfortable for the rest of the measure]

These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know

[Next two measures sung by the Daves Bruce knows: ] We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows
We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows

Some of us them are Davids
But most of us are Daves
We all have our own hands
But we come from different moms

These are the Daves I know, I know
[Daves: We are the Daves he knows, he knows]
[All: These are the Daves]

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Cna you find the words to The Kids In The Hall "Terriers"?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:02 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pocket Calculator" is the ultimate empowerment song.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Kids in the Hall "The Terrier Song"

Terriers are my very favourite breed.
They're cute and cuddly and easy dogs to feed.
They'll bring you up whenever you are down.
Terriers average 20 pounds.
When I walk around in this terrier town,
One thing that makes me down,
Is when people put bandanas on their dogs.

Terriers are my very favourite breed,
Cute and cuddly, easy dogs to feed.
Terriers were there in the 11th century,
Napoleon had one to prevent misery.
Terriers are good with the aged,
Studies show that they prolong old peoples' lives.
No one wants to die,
Like this guy died.
Die die, die die.
Die die, die die.
Worms eating your eyes.
Bass solo.


(Notices women behind him in black bikini's and veils)

Ah, excuse me ladies, you're scantily clad and have nothing to do with the narrative. Therefore, it's sexist. Sorry.

(they go away)


Wow, that hurt.
You know those mornings that you just can't get out of bed,
and you call in sick, if you had a job.
You know those mornings when you just wanna watch TV,
eat corn chips and masturbate.

Sure you do.

Well, when those days happen . . .
what you should do is start thinking about my friends.
My little furry, waterproof pals.
You know I'm talking about . . .


Les terriers sont mes types favourites,
Jolies, charmantes.
Pas de probleme a maintenir.
Il donnent du joie.
Quand tu es "blue."
Les terries sont a peu pres,
Vingt livres.


Give terriers a chance (Yeah!)
Do the terrier dance.
No, let's not.
But if you want your love to show,
If you want your love to grow.
Then go terri-, go terri-, go terri- errr.


― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Arlo Guthrie "The Motorcycle Song"

vroom vroom

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

those are all about sex as WELL!!

esp. the daves one obv

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Hmmm Mark,
I do believe you have sex on the brain =0)

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Streetband (featuring Paul Young) "Toast"

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Steps' 5, 6, 7, 8. They just count on that one...

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Steps 5, 6, 7, 8.
I do believe that particular song relates to the number of brain cells each member contributes to the intelligence quota for the whole group =)

― Derek Dalek (Derek Dalek), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:57 (twenty-three years ago)

"Sweet Jane"

― Burr, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 19:02 (twenty-three years ago)

"I Hate Your Kid"

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

"Right Said Fred" Bernard Cribbens

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"Steps' 5, 6, 7, 8. They just count on that one..."

That's about the joys of line-dancing, though, thus being about music.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Pretty much everything by TMBG? Joke rock is a way out of the trite topics, though not one that appeals to me.

― wl (wl), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:27 (twenty-three years ago)

is it? I thought it was abt the simple joys of counting.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I was about to say "Dr Worm" by John and John, but most of their stuff is about music, surely?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:29 (twenty-three years ago)

"is it? I thought it was abt the simple joys of counting."

A rodeo Romeo
A cowboy guy from head to toe
Gonna get in line
Gonna make you mine
5-6-7-8

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh! How about "Beef Jerky" by Cibo Matto?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 20:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Sonic Youth "Mildred Pierce"


― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 21:07 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pocket Calculator" is MOST CERTAINLY about self-empowerment. "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator" = "I've got myself this shiny new piece of technology - I'm a huge badass". Boring duds like DJ Sp**ky would tell you how "in a strange twist of trans-Atlantic cross-cultural influence, this track prefigured the bold bragadoccio of hip-hop and--" at which point I would puncture his larynx and pretend it was an accident.

― Clarke B., Wednesday, 18 September 2002 22:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Mountain Goats -- "The Day Jimi Hendrix Died." You look at the title of this thread and think no way, but it turns out Hendrix just got up, got out of bed, got a glass of water, and that's about it. The most banal thing you can imagine, but in just the right away. Nice work, John.

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

"I Am the Japanese Sandman" (Cellos)

― Burr, Thursday, 19 September 2002 00:05 (twenty-three years ago)

anything by Radiohead. arf.

"I Want To Be A Tree" by, er, Robert Smith and Tim Pope, as I recall.

― Charlie (Charlie), Thursday, 19 September 2002 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)

ooops, forgot about the mighty "Stick Your Finger In Your Ear And Go Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo" by Benny Hill.

― Charlie (Charlie), Thursday, 19 September 2002 00:34 (twenty-three years ago)

many Bruce Haack songs

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 19 September 2002 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Gary Young, "Plantman"

― Famous Athlete, Thursday, 19 September 2002 02:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh! How about "Beef Jerky" by Cibo Matto?

how about anything by cibo matto?

― brian badword (badwords), Thursday, 19 September 2002 02:23 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hey Ma" by Cam'ron. "B.K. Anthem" by Foxy Brown. "The English Motorway System" by Black Box Recorder. "Family" by Mystikal. "Millenium Fever Ballad" by Scarnella. "The Art of Storytelling" by Outkast. "City of London" by the Mekons. Many LiLiPUT songs. "Two Little Hitlers" by Elvis Costello. "Pressure Drop" by Jimmy Cliff. "Read About Seymour" by The Swell Maps. "Jenny Come On" by Dressy Bessy.

(Note: I am just picking appropriate titles from whatever CDs are lying around)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 19 September 2002 03:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Tradewinds Super Furry Animals
Time Keeps on Slipping Deltron 3030

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 19 September 2002 03:58 (twenty-three years ago)

ok exclude 'Character Sketches' and 'This is How I'm Feeling' and 'Motorized Vehicles'. now whatcha got.

― Aaron A., Thursday, 19 September 2002 04:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Changing the rules part of the way in = feature creep = not allowed.

Also, aren't most character sketches related to third-person perspective of self empowerment?

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 19 September 2002 04:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Shonen Knife's Tortoise Brand pot scrubbing cleaner theme.

― Poppy (poppy), Thursday, 19 September 2002 04:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn I was gonna suggest Shonen Knife, though the 2 songs on the comp I just palyed could be abour sex (butterfly boy) and being high (get the wow).

But luckily Talking Heads will come to my rescue for songs about normal stuff, more songs about buildings and food.

If you want to eliminate widely used topics then travel (which is really just a metaphor for empowerment or intoxication) and food (possibly intoxication or empowerement again if you want to be stupidly psychological) are fairly widely used.

There's lots of prog rock songs about hobbits, the apocalypse and other such winged nonesense (drugs again...).

― tigerclawskank, Thursday, 19 September 2002 07:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"doctor in the tardis" and "startrekkin'".

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 07:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Pixies - "Bird Dream Of The Olympus Mons". It's about a bird dreaming of the Olympus Mons.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 19 September 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

do they have birds on mars?

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:06 (twenty-three years ago)

No. That's why its not about a bird flying over the Olympus Mons (which wd be self-empowerment).

The Pixies/Frank Black's many UFO songs fall under 'mechanised travel' sadly.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

is the bird aware that what is deaming of is olympus mons, tho?

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:20 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pocket Calculator" is MOST CERTAINLY about self-empowerment. "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator" = "I've got myself this shiny new piece of technology - I'm a huge badass".

i didnt think 'Pocket Calculator' was necessarily about empowerment. what if the song is just about a scientist stating a fact...scientists generally dont tend to boast about things and possessing a pocket calculator is hardly something you would think...oh whatever. you're probably right, for i was going to cite 'The Robots' as an example too but that did actually seem like a song of empowerment...so i think i will remove 'pocket calculator' and replace it with 'Autobahn' until i realise thats not eligible either

― blueski, Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:22 (twenty-three years ago)

The bird's awareness is non-verbal and therefore does not include placenames. Black Francis' interpretation of the dream identifies the dreamed mountain as the Olympus Mons.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:24 (twenty-three years ago)

that's ok then. :)

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:28 (twenty-three years ago)


James Brown's '(I don't want nobody givin' me nothing) open up the door and I'll get it myself' was, according to a friend "inspired by a domestic incident."

in which case it would count.

― adam b (adam b), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Boney M 'The Calendar Song' - where they just sing the months of the year

― H (Heruy), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Any football song.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

"no UFOs", or is that political?

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Bearsuit - "Hey Charlie Hey Chuck", "Poor Prince Neal".. most of their stuff, actually.

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 19 September 2002 11:05 (twenty-three years ago)

most Hindu devotional songs
The Byrds - "Turn Turn Turn"
The Who - "Boris The Spider"
The Velvet Underground - "Black Angel's Death Song", "European Son", "Murder Mystery"
Led Zeppelin - "Battle Of Evermore"
Yes - "Heart Of the Sunrise"
The Ramones - "Beat On the Brat"
Rush - "Cygnus X-1"
Teenage Jesus & the Jerks - "Orphans"
REM - "Radio Free Europe", "It's the End Of the World As We Know It"
The Smiths - "Cemetry Gates"
Voivod - "The Unknown Knows"

― sundar subramanian, Thursday, 19 September 2002 15:12 (twenty-three years ago)

The REM choices probably go under music and politics actually.

Sonic Youth - "Nic Fit"
Death Angel - "Bored"
Gowan - "Criminal Mind"

― sundar subramanian, Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Roxy Music - "Amazona"

― Burr, Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Pink Floyd- Bike
Madness- Driving in my car

― Aisling Mc Namara, Thursday, 19 September 2002 20:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Bike - "You're the kind of girl who fits into my world..."

― christoff (christoff), Thursday, 19 September 2002 20:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Bike sounds like its about love and Driving In MY Car is probably about empowerment in the same way that Pocket Calculator sorta is...mebbe

― blueski, Thursday, 19 September 2002 21:13 (twenty-three years ago)

all football songs are about sex: also so is boris the spidah

spider spider spider!!!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 19 September 2002 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

eight months pass...
Capt. Beefheart - The Blimp

― John Bullabaugh (John Bullabaugh), Thursday, 5 June 2003 02:24 (twenty-two years ago)

nine months pass...
Sloop John B is kind of political and about self empowerment. I think it's about being a sailor and what a bad job it is and all that.

― Amity (Amity), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 07:58 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...
"I Saw Your Mommy" by Suicidal Tendencies

― Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 18:54 (twenty years ago)

"Pollo Asado" - Ween

― Yngwie AlmsteenMay (sgertz), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

Most Christmas carols.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

"Everything by TMBG" was mentioned upthread, but the deal is, they use a lot of these jokey lyrical set-ups to take different approaches to more universal topics. "Particle Man" is about conflicting religions, for instance.

Plus, they've written quite a great many songs about love. "Ana Ng" and "Letterbox" and "Ball and Chain" and "She's An Angel" and so on.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

Every song about violence (see: hip hop)
Nearly every metal song
Every song about work or boredom (see: punk)
Every song about travelling or places (see: country)

Or am I missing something?

― paulhw (paulhw), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

XTC - Ballet For a Rainy Day

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 14 April 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)


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