does she make noise?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en-GB&client=mv-google&v=UQvN8-nsxpw

Why hello there. We understand you are a writer and have things to say, and write things, mainly about Florence and the Machine. And that you are a member of a band, that band being, oddly enough, the band you have linked in this opening post. It could be possible that you are thinking "I am clever and I will introduce myself further by posting this without context as a means of possible spam so that my foolishness that was rightfully mocked earlier might somehow be ignored!"

And yet.

not a writer. wrote an obnoxious thing about florence as a one off for my mate's website.
the rest is accurate though.

oh, and not 'possible spam',
DEFINITE spam.
Incidentally this song is our debut single (well... this versions just a demo. we're doing a version proper with stephen street which will be out on Normal Records towards july/august.)
we're great and florence is shite.

c-minus for effort

They're all really ugly. They have terrible hair, I don't like their clothes, and I don't want to fuck any of them. Also their shoes are really ugly, I think they're too skinny and possibly need to gain some weight. Maybe do something about their faces. Grow some beards. See if they can't look a couple of years older. Or maybe younger. They should look more like they're in a boyband. They should look more like they're in Radiohead. They should be more tall and have different fat distribution. Maybe bleach their hair. Maybe pierce their ears or get cosmetic surgery to look more like Justin Bieber. Actually they're so ugly, I'm not sure it will help. Man, I do not want to put any of them in my vagina, so why on earth would I want to put them in my ears? Look at their awful clothes. They can't seem to make up their minds whether the weather is warm or cold. Like, half of them are wearing leather jackets and the other half are wearing vests. Seem like a total image band to me. And their image screams "I am going to hate this." However, two of them appear to making out in the promo photo, so there might be some good slash fan fiction potential at some point. I don't like the way their legs are all so open. Dirty sluts. They probably want it.

Oh wait, I've just realised that my sound card has gone again. I've just watched the video without sound. But, you know, they're men. It doesn't matter what they sound like, it just matters what they look like. And based on how ugly they are and how much I dislike their clothes, they definitely suck big hairy moosecock.

Now go away.

I think this band is really cool

^^^ says someone who has never seen any other bands, ever.

no they have really cool haircuts and wear really cool clothes

I think these guys are gonna be really big

See? Why would we need to know what they sound like, when we can judge them entirely based on what they look like? This is, apparently, the way it's done.

where is NME on this??? somebody should tell them about these new young lads!!!

what a joke... NME is probably covering justin bieber or some shite... lol!!!

sounding like something scraped off a toilet venue floor in 2003 is a worse reflection on yr character than shitting on florence

please stop the fantastic satire! it's making me weep onto my distressed brogues!

who are you??

I really wanna know don't care

we just make music for ourselves, and if anyone likes it, that's a bonus.
or a travesty.

depends on your feelings towards posh singers whose songs are written by the geezer out of test icicles. if you like em, then slagging us is the soup du jour it seems.

there's a certain kind of ironclad self-belief that mistakes unironic 5th-gen revivalism for "keeping the faith" and bone-headed misogyny for ironic banter that means we're not gonna get any play from dexie here i suspect. so much as i'd love to see him evolve into a much-loved regular i get the feeling this kind of puppy-ish self-promo is all we're gonna get and we shd probably go to the public vote

dextor, do u enjoy watching european football?

but just to spell it out dex, you're barking up 3 or 4 wrong trees. i don't think anybody here is a butthurt Florence fan. we just don't share your exciting new vision of futurist pop either. soz.

slagging us is the soup du jour it seems

He's ugly, so we don't have to pay attention to his posts, either! Win-Win!

yeah mordy, it will be multi format. and on the compliment- cheers! a lot of other people reckon i look like pierce brosnan too.

"other people"

Come on, come on, I'm sure his mum thinks he's attractive, too. That makes two.

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The Valentines may refer to:

The Valentines (rock band), an Australian rock 'n' roll band active from 1966-1970, chiefly noted for their lead singer, Bon Scott
The Valentines (doo-wop band), one of the most highly regarded American Doo Wop groups from the mid 1950s

I miss Brother.

nakh otm

Viva Valentines Beyond

i thought everybody here liked supergrass

@_@

you probably should have warmed up for this with a few cat gifs and posts about situation comedies

sounding like something scraped off a toilet venue floor

trying v. hard to parse this, third eye opening

The Gerogerigegege have an album they recorded at a toilet venue I think

Thing is, something that actually *sounded* like the floor of a toilet venue like, say, the Bull & Gate, feels - i.e. really really sticky and slightly damp - would probably actually sound something like Annie's Bubblegum.

Which would actually be awesome. And I feel we're doing the floors of the toilet venue circuit of Britain a vast disservice, comparing this band to them.

hey y'all, is this worth playing even for lols or could I get the same effect from staring at a wall

jesus christ, when will someone just invade this country and kill us all to save the embarrassment of stuff like this.

xp It would have to be a phenomenally ugly wall. This guy is about half as entertaining as Tailpipe Man.

Cheer up Jamie, you could be [country] or [country].

i couldn't have been more certain that this was an iltmi thread

this guy : Black Sabbath : sissymanwhore : Kraftwerk

Did this guy do something really annoying on some Florence & the Machine thread? Like, the vibe here seems sorta harsh even by ILX standards.

Music Criticism 2012, UK Division: "Instead of a review of this performer's concert, here are 50 insulting remarks about her appearance."

sid james' laugh is one of the greatest things in history

a real charmer this one

okay, yeah, he seems like kind of a challopsy pill. And the 50 insults thing is really terrible. He's like fifteen though right? Dude could grow out of that and become a true ILXor although probably a somewhat dull one. Trying too hard, doesn't have the fundamental spark of a CaptainLorax.

No I think this band is really onto something. I don't think anyone has ever made music like this before. Maybe garagey power pop-punk will be the next craze thanks to The Valentines. Great name too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8h2qlIAuJw

cartel syndicate ripoff

To be serious for a moment... The fact that ILX is giving him more than the usual newbie hazing over that Florence shit is one of those moments that makes me actually proud of ILX.

Like all the conversations and discussions we've had are actually starting to sink in and the penny has dropped. When you have the entire open goal of Florence's music and how awful it is, just sitting there and you go for insulting her appearance, that's not just lazy thinking and bad writing, it's sexist shit and sexist shit has real life consequences.

I know dude is so oblivious he's probably gonna go on now about how we "can't handle his banter" and bonus points if there's a "make me a sandwich" joke involved (see how engrained this shit gets, that I can internally make the insults before dudes make them.) This shit is insidious, that it's not the one dude who thinks he's hilarious, but the way that all the males on a messaeboard who could go either way (who could be reasonable posters or could act like pillocks, before anyone makes any LJ jokes) take that example. So it makes me heartened to see people calling him out on it, even if he's too clueless to even recognise what he's being called out for. It's one of those cases where I think peer pressure can actually work in a way that 100 carefully argued threads about gender can't always.

It's actually heartening. So no one spoil my moment, please.

I hope this doesn't spoil your moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEKT85fx2w

oh and WRT taking a slagging for writing sexist shit about female musicians:

How Not To Write About Female Musicians: A Handy Guide