Pop-Eye 6/5/01

Yet again another fine selection of new entries in the top ten, and the worst one of the bunch at Number One. Geri's redundant cover of Its Raining Men not only has one of the most disgusting videos ever made, but it must of got to number one via some sort of cheating - since that is what Cheater Halliwell is all about. Using a successful film as a Trojan Horse can be described as cheating under these rules. (We forgot to burn our effigy of Cheater Halliwell at the Focus Group on Sunday, what fools/)

M.O.P. is worth it merely for the sample, but it is a fanstically fun piece of work. And Play by Lopez is a country mile better than anything she has ever done, especially when she gets angry and asks the DJ to play her Motherfucking Song. Oddly Play is the only song by Lopez a DJ should play, yet it is only a DJ not playing her songs which has caused it to be written (says overly literal Pop-Eye contributor).

I even like Imitation Of Life, though Stipe looks more like The Mekon with every passing day. Finally, very amusing to see Moussy Gray and the Black Eyed Peas flounder at 31. Macy is more omnipresent that Lisa Left-Eye Lopez was last year, its good to see her also turning into a kiss of death.

In what kind of twisted world does "It's Raining Men" trump "Play" for the top of the charts??? I never in my life thought I'd be defending J-ho, but "Play" clearly kicks "It's Raining Men"s bony ass.

It just goes to show how very clever Geri is; she knows how to market herself very well, putting stories of her diet success and "romance" with Robbie about in the press. And riding on the coattails of That Movie doesn't hurt either. Compare how good she is at playing this game compared to her fellow Spicies, and it becomes clear who the real brains behind the Spice Girls really was.

If I hear one more reference to Geri being bony, I'll fucking murder someone. SHE IS NORMAL SIZED, PEOPLE. It's not even funny, it's offensive to anyone who actually has had problems with eating.

And why is no one getting annoyed that S Club Fucking 7 is above J- Lo? I mean, talk about god awful. S Club 7 should be shot. All bands that use the number 7 in their name should be shot. They are misery- inducing, the lot of them. All two.

I was talking about the single (which itself sounds pretty weedy and thin)as a sort of play on the whole "Geri's diet" press phenomena. Geri herself is more boring than bony.

I thought it went without saying that S Club 7 are awful? Since the frighteningly realistic troll dolls of them are so cheap in the stores now, it would be nice to burn them in effigy.

I'll back Ally up on the "Geri-isn't-bony" front. I completely agree that she's thinner now than she was when she was a Spice Girl, but she's also much more muscular than she was then. I see unhealthily thin women all the time and Ms. Halliwell just isn't.

Having said that, her cover of "It's Raining Men" isn't awful as much as it is inessential. I mean, the only real difference between her version and the original is that she doesn't riff on the melody the way the Weathergirls did. It definitely falls into the "Who cares?" pile.

Speaking of "Who cares?" why is anyone giving the new REM single the time of day? It's completely snoozeworthy. Give me "Texarkana" (which is really the same type of sound, only with more energy and excitement) any day over this imitation.

She still looks bony to me. If you want to read that as "unhealthy" or "starved" or whatever, then that's your problem, Ally: it's not what I mean. It's a perception-based word and as such is not neccessarily tied to a single viewpoint or a single moral standpoint. Also, you're not a spokesperson for people with eating disorders - I know people who have had/do have eating disorders who do find the Geri's diet hyperbole as offensive as you seem to find the use of "bony" on ILM.

Also she's a no-good cheat, of course.

"Bony" of course has historical hate-the-French/scare-yer-kids associations for brits which are unrelated to body image (as the Bony in question was a fat leetle fuck): eat your spinach or Bony will have you...

's club,rem and ronan are rubbish' - the firstborn has spoken, weighing up whether to buy geri's single - as she thinks halliwell's a 'druggie' after seeing her on big breakfast the other week

7 mary 3, Sevendust, 7 Seconds, Oaktown's 3-5-7...I think Ally's onto something (there's more than 2 though).

Geri seems to be doing more for the eroticisation of the abdomen than her stint as UN rep did for Women's rights. At least she's not making a fool of herself.

re: geri being skinny

Well, of course, she's not suffering from months of an eating disorder, but she ain't normal! Her exercise regime has given her a body with the legs of a marathon runner, stomach of a beach volleyball player, and well toned arms of a rock climber.

Where as the dancers are usually the most fit people in the videos these days, Geri makes her dancers look chubby! It makes me sick to watch her jump around like that!

(Also she has, as one of my work friends put it, lost her tits.)

"Play" is *bleep*ing terrible.

Ally - just read my comment above and it's far too snippy. Sorry. The construction "X is offensive to anyone who Y" gets me riled a bit.

The chart is very poor this week. Geri's song is awful in extremis. The first 30 seconds of J-Lo's song is good, I like the old school bubble sound of a casio sk-1. Not once does she say "please"...which I think is kinda rude. The REM song, is an REM song, it's okay, but they are just living off former glories...I like Mr. Stipes tudes and stuff that he adds to his ear pieces, he is very Starfleet Academy. Poor old Steven Gately has certainly fallen on hard times, it seems there will be no Robbie to emerge from the 'Zone. I think Alsou could have charted a little higher...

Turin Brakes enter at number 39...I predict the following letter will appear on Teletext or Ceefax "At last some REAL music gets in the charts, but Turin Brakes only get to number 39! Children should be banned from buying records, then we wouldn't have rubbish like Geri at number 1"

Also, Gabrielle's album went up a massive 76 places...on the strength of a pretty mediocre single!

Starsailor, Hear'Say, Westlife, Ronan Keating, oh my. American doesn't get much of the British crop, does it? The S Club rock, and let nobody say otherwise.

Who the hell is Jason Downs and what sort of payola scandal was involved in securing his chart placing? Jive Records normally has impeccable taste. Crap!

I would like to propose a vote as to whether or not it's really Geri doing those tough dance moves at the beginning of the 'It's Raining Men' video. I would also like it to henceforth be known as 'It's Raining (Men)'.

MOP have seemingly been making the exact same song since about 1994. Who would have suspected the world would come round to their way of thinking? That is genuinely scary.

Can I just say — re my former utter pop darlings hear'say — that while the enduring of betrayal is the getting of wisdom, in the charts (which others call the universe) as elsewhere, I had hoped to be a little LESS wise a little MORE long... ?

It is a Science Fact that Cheater Halliwell used a body double for parts of her vid, she has admitted as much herself on telly. She was always a crap dancer in her Spice days, and while she may have improved a little there's no way she could be pirouetting and fouette- ing like a proper ballerina.

And it is Science Fact that she is bony. Heat magazine did an article giving celebrity weight/BMI and Geri's is 19 or something, 'healthy' being 20-25. Their nutritionist confirms Gezza is underweight.

m.o.p. have gotten away with subtle variations on 'how about some hardcore' for so long because the song is FUCKING PERFECT. they deserve their due.

i think tlc is alsome but i hard about what happen to lisa left eye and i feel so bad i was a big fan of tlc but a bigger fan of lisa ill miss here singing and ill always remember her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♫ Meet the "Old ILM"/ Same as the "New ILM"...

bloody hell! I wrote alot on this thread! This was b4 ILE though!

... more omnipresent than Lisa Left-Eye Lopez was last year, it's good to see her also turning into a kiss of death.

Actually, it's kinda interesting trying to recall these singles, or guess what they were, from the clues. Ah, the fickleness of we pop fans, eh?

Play is still brilliant.

I remember them all! Except the REM one and I'm not sure which S Club it is.