Music Writers: What Phrases Make You Delete Promo Emails Instantly?

Here are some of mine:

"LA-based singer-songwriter"
"guitar pop"
"Pet Sounds"
"modern progressive rock"
"[female artist]'s sweet, piano-driven music"

What are yours?

all of them.

highly anticipated (this also makes me delete pitches)

Writing my own promo email for the charity comp out today was an interesting exercise in avoiding the pitfalls I've seen so often.

Anyway:

"invades" (with reference to tour announcements)
"unleashes" ('Didn't you want this promo mp3/video we're foisting on you? I thought everyone wanted free stuff!')

can't wait to shoehorn HIGHLY ANTICIPATED into my next e-mail to maura

"vanguard"

"This proudly guitar-less sextet of soulful Angelenos"

As far as press releases go, the ubiquitous "TRACK LISTING UNVEILED".

did you know that if you unsubscribe from a promo list it immediately gives your email address to other promo lists? oughta be a law against that. instead of hitting unsubscribe, i started emailing people back asking them to take me off their list and even that doesn't work. as soon as i do that the next day i get five random emails from new publicity/band/etc lists.

i haven't deleted an e-mail or asked to be removed from a mailing list once in the 6+ years i've had my gmail account. i'd rather just leave the lawn unmowed forever, pay for extra storage, and search for what i need when i need it.

"[female artist]'s sweet, piano-driven music"

:(

yeah i don't need any of that stuff anymore. i don't want any promo emails. i mean i barely need email anymore.

As far as press releases go, the ubiquitous "TRACK LISTING UNVEILED".

Yeah, that's a favorite. "Here are the names of ten songs you haven't heard yet! Awesome, right?"

Or another metal press release gem: "Trailer for new music video".

"New song streaming"

Anytime an album/single/download release date is referred to as "dropping"

"If you would like to schedule an interview with Art Alexakis, get in touch!"

"New song streaming"

what's so bad about this?

It's not bad, I just don't care.

they are frequently compared to fellow sound mavericks TVOTR and Dirty Projectors, as fronted by Prince and backed by Destiny's Child.

Figures that fun. would be described that way.

i've always felt that prince and destiny's child didn't sing enough boring indie rock. my time is now.

if the email concerns anything other than a full-length new album (or reissue of note) I delete it unread, I do not care that x band has "announced album title" & shit like that. I don't see the press emails that're sent off on aerosmith's behalf but I really hope they don't include "steven tyler speaks regarding new album title" or anything like that, ugh

no EPs huh

"I don't see the press emails that're sent off on aerosmith's behalf"

i know that steven tyler is a busy dude, but you really should try and see them just in case. cuz there is a lot of stupid shit out there. but steven tyler is a pro and i'm betting he would only hire the best.

no EPs huh

pretty much no. the kind of new stuff I'm into is not really heavy on EPs, if there was one that said like new Cirith Gorgor EP for download ok but I don't see that happening

i know that steven tyler is a busy dude, but you really should try and see them just in case. cuz there is a lot of stupid shit out there.

I know, but literally no matter what they say, I will find them embarrassing, so there is no point in me seeing them. self-promotion is embarrassing. one wishes the quality of one's work could really speak for itself, but it can't, so people have to promote it; but I probably shouldn't be sitting in the back seat goin "what about if the press blast reads, 'look, if you're into this kinda thing you might really dig this but the band has specifically requested that we not bug anybody about it, aerosmith has a new one anyway, holler if you want it this is the last you'll hear from us about it'?" because that will be a strategy that will earn me friends among the scott s.'s of the world & will result in my band getting much less press etc, and we're paying these press ppl to do the thing they do so hey.

"You must hear this!!!"

"Wow, check this out!"

"New NSFW video!"

And anything along those lines.

i think its just a lot easier in general when you are a known quantity like aerosmith. you don't have to scream as loud. there are people already anticipating! its the other 5 zillion unknowns and near-unknowns...ugh, that's where it gets ugly. cuz then you have to tell people it sounds like prince fronting an indie rock band. its a hard sell.

You'd (he'd) be surprised how lame press releases can be even for a known quantity.

'Check out this smoking live video of Alejandro Escovedo performing "a passionate debut" of his new single, "Man of the World," exclusively over at Rolling Stone ...'

Etc.

I mean, let's be honest: I pretty much delete anything that doesn't have a downloadable promo in it, except for the very occasional set of tour dates I want to remember.

Geezer/ Mate/ Matey/ Bro/ Hey you Guys/ you're gonna love this.

I once received an email with the opening gambit "Hey mate, I'm not sexist but check out the ya-yas on this unit" which was not a happy email to receive. The unfolding three day correspondence between the beleaguered PR and ten female peers of mine was a joy to read however and gave me some satisfaction.

Hot off the press:

Previously only available on “ruby red” vinyl for Record Store Day, the dbl-LP is now available on “hot white vinyl”

so what you're saying is that if I ever send out a promo, it should start out with "check out the nuts on this guy, rowr"

I would read that FWIW but I wouldn't adopt it as a rule of thumb.

what about a rule of balls

Hot in off the presses: "We are up your alley. At night with a switchblade and a tattered copy of The Stranger."

No. You are up my anus with a bag of itching powder.

"Terrible new band from Brooklyn"

My understanding is that it's better not to mention balls but if you do, at least make them sound epic or slightly dangerous.

RIYL Fleet Foxes

DJP flaunts epic balls, CD of Gregorian chant

"My balls are up your alley at night time with a switch blade and a copy of Motley Crue: The Dirt." That kind of thing.

Doran was it for a rolling stones album?

There is one prominent publicist I recently had to email to tell person x, look, if you keep sending me emails with the subject header "this is really important!" or "check this out!" I will literally not ever open your email again, assuming it even makes it past my spam folder.

how many music writers still write promo/press stuff? almost everyone did in the old days. a promo place asked me if i wanted press packet work years ago and i couldn't think of anything more hellish. plus, they asked me for my best "indie rock" rates and i knew for sure that i would never do it. i just noticed that one of my facebook friends writes for a music mag and also works for press/promo place. which i hadn't noticed before. maybe its as common as the old days.

^^I believe the PR may have been a fan of that album but no, it was on behalf of a shit guitar manufacturers who had made a video of some partially clothed emo girls writhing around with the company's substandard instruments. I'm guessing the PR wanted my help in making the YouTube go viral.

I'm no longer on the PR's mail out list.

I occasionally write bios, track by tracks and press releases but these days it's nearly always for friends at smaller labels.

it seems like a large percentage of promo emails i get mention something streaming over at spin magazine

it's pretty amazing to me that anyone wants to be a publicist, and even more so that there are some beautiful people in PR

dude, J.Lo and Ricky Martin

Ouch. That one was physically painful.

'purveyors of good old fashioned rock'n'roll'

bands I really liked asked me to write their one-sheets & I did & their managers/labels immediately came back w/"this is good but can you compare the artist to _______?" - to specific, very successful artists whose work in no way resembled the artists I was supposed to be writing about except in the most crass, rudimentary ways. never accept this gig unless you're willing to just say shit you don't buy at all for fifty bucks imo

Early Buzz For New Sixpence None the Richer

Platinum-selling band Sixpence None the Richer is generating a firestorm of attention for its forthcoming album 'Lost In Transition.'

that firestorm is actually just people with torches hoping to burn them alive.

Out on August 7th, it's the band's first new record in a decade. Early champions include Paste, USA Today's Brian Mansfield and Perez Hilton.

Early comparisons include Paste, USA Today's Brian Mansfield and Perez Hilton

on the other hand, someone DID actually pay me 500 bucks to write liner-notes for The Best of Foghat and i was like FUCK YEAH! I'm gonna go buy some records!

The new Sixpence album has a sort of Paste-meets-Perez Hilton thing going on.

Scott, did you used to write for Pulse?

Me, no. I probably would have if they had asked me. I haven't written for a ton of people. I was just remembering the other day that someone from CMJ wanted me to write for them? I think. And I also have no memory if I did or not.

i wrote some terrible things for Magnet. Ugh. Or they ended up terrible anyway. They made me rewrite terrible things ten times over and I was done after two or three reviews. blah. i didn't need that shit. and they paid ten bucks a review! and they didn't even pay me for one of them! do you think i was gonna hassle magnet for ten bucks? no sir i ran in the other direction. i was lousy at doing the magazine thing. except for decibel. but decibel ran what i wrote word for word for 7 years. they don't mess with genius.

i don't know why i'm telling you people this...

Better question would be what phrases don't make you delete instantly, but those are probably specific to the writer. I couldn't honestly say what things have made me check out the tiny percentage of things I've actually listened to based on random promos. Most of which have been totally bleh anyway. Sometimes probably if there was a cute girl in the band photo. More often because of the label.

i write PR copy occasionally for friends and people i've worked with closely enough that i'm like "it wouldn't be right for me to give you any press but i can write your bio" -- i don't have to feign enthusiasm because i usually genuinely like their work but i almost feel like i'm selling them short by NOT writing the kind of insane cheery hyperbole that PR pros usually supply and that i don't have the stomach to write

there are a couple of PR ppl who understand exactly what beats i cover and which artists i am most likely to write about and they do a stellar job putting the relevant information right up top in the email

kudos to them

i don't really expect any artist or PR person to know which 2% of what they send me will be something that i will respond to or cover, just as long as they don't take it personally when i ignore them the other 98% of the time

I find that inevitably, when there's an album I actually care about, I'll contact the publicist before they have a chance to write to me.

Related, not a fan of publicists who write me asking if I've listened to something, or worse, whether I plan to cover something or not. If I plan to cover something, you'll see it when I cover it. Alternatively, I'll contact you to say I'm covering something, so that you'll actually send me the album. Other than that, silence speaks louder than words.

/As far as press releases go, the ubiquitous "TRACK LISTING UNVEILED"./

Yeah, that's a favorite. "Here are the names of ten songs you haven't heard yet! Awesome, right?"
--誤訳侮辱

Metal publicists are the absolute worst for this. There's one company that sends an email for every song

I gotta admit tho when I was 12 just seeing the tracklisting for something I was waiting on woulda gotten me pretty excited. Especially if it was somebody I was really into. I remember when Bowie announced that he was calling his new album Let's Dance, my friends & me talked about it at length for days. Sad ending to that story of course since the album sucked ass forever but my point stands

yeah except for this little song called "let's dance" which was pretty fuckin good

if only there was some difference between david bowie and the marginal indie rock bands that clog my inbox all day

i REALLY want a transcript of kids talking about the title Let's Dance for days. would be like a Beckett play. how much mystery was contained in that title?

i really liked it when i first heard it. i remember exactly where i was. my brother brought it home. played it on my dad's stereo downstairs. really loud. sunny day. winds to the northeast. circular from caldor in the mail.

it seemed like it was indicative of a big change, given Scary Monsters and Lodger and all the artsiness that'd gone before! And it was indicative of a big change, into making terrible records

man for the days when kids looked forward to Bowie albums.

it was his last good one. r.i.p. good bowie records.

no his last good one was Scary Monsters I will fight you

well, except he had a song called "Young Americans" which seemed like a repudiation of his doom-laden glam-boogie doggerel.

one of best runs in rock history though. nothing to sneeze at. even his his first album on deram is great. r.i.p. small faces hairdo.

The rot starts to set in Scary Monsters but it's still a pretty good record.

Anyway. Nice thread derail!

well, except he had a song called "Young Americans" which seemed like a repudiation of his doom-laden glam-boogie doggerel.

followed by a trilogy of albums with Eno including a side-long instrumental suite, lol

fortunately his post-LD collaborators included Hugh Padgham, Mick Jagger, and Peter Frampton.

ollowed by a trilogy of albums with Eno including a side-long instrumental suite, lol

no way to know that "Let's Dance" would auger a shit storm.

I'm not repping for 90s Bowie in yet another thread, you people never listen

the other night i was shocked to discover that i have 'Heathen' on vinyl

http://i.imgur.com/EZgZciq.png

I took a shit in a new shape