'Facts' regularly brought up on music discussion forums which are entirely false

1. Jools Holland plays "boogie woogie piano" all over the guests' songs he joins in with on 'Later'

2. Isaac Brock is a rapist.

can't believe sick sick people are calumnizing jools holland on internet forums

I don't know who Isaac Brock is, but Jool Holland really does do that a lot.

I don't know who Jool Holland is, but Isaac Brock really does do that a lot.

Wow. Um, really, can we not do the rape jokes on ILX, please?

Seriously, not funny, not cool.

3. The standard cost of a CD album is £18.

sorry WCC, wdn't normally do that and was blinded by Brock hate

OK, I looked up Isac Brock on wiki.

Story ends.

I don't know who Isaac Brock is, but Jool Holland really does do that a lot.

Jools plays boogie woogie piano, but does he drown his guests music in it? He's a great example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exm4MixX4Vw

4. Mama Cass choked on a ham sandwich.

5. Jeff Porcaro died from an allergic reaction to pesticides.

6. Lester Bangs died of the flu.

7. *insert genre* is dead.

8. The Stereophonics initially weren't that bad

6. People who prefer guitar music to dance music are probably racist or homophobic and possibly both.

Sorry. 9.

10. Creedence Clearwater Revival were never popular in the UK

11. Roy Harper contracted a serious illness from snogging a sheep.

12. The Velvet Underground were unknown in their lifetime

13. LCD Soundsystem's "45:33" has anything at all to do with running or exercise.

"Sorry. 9."

I don't mind. I don't mind.

14. Grunge killed metal dead.

By its final season, Top of the Pops was worth saving and was thought of fondly.

8. The Stereophonics initially weren't that bad

I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone say this

16. Smash Hits was the best music mag in the 80s

17. Select was the best music mag in the 90s.

what was the best (UK) newsstand music mag in the 90s?

18. Frank Zappa had witty and useful opinions on music journalism that merit repeating on a regular basis.

19. Everyone reads Pitchfork.

Was waiting for Dorian to bring up No 18.

20. The radio session version of the early B-side was the best thing they ever did.

21. Ringo wasn't a very good drummer.

22. All dance music is techno. (doesn't apply to this forum)

23 Lana Del Rey had her lips done

24. Bernard Purdie played drums on some Beatles tracks (that one still may be true i've honestly no idea)

25. It sounds better/ warmer on vinyl

26. the early-mid 70s were crap before Punk (not this forum obvs)

27. Malcolm Mooney is a qualified veterinary surgeon.

28. AnCo's Beach Boys harmonies (via Dario G)

29. Dexter Holland of the Offspring has a PhD in molecular biology (he was a candidate, but abandoned it)

30. People shouldn't use the term 'IDM'.

31. Your favourite genre of music is objectively better than that crap that sheeple like.

Boogie woogie piano is probably better than most currently updating british rock bands

lmao @ dog latin

I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone say this

I've definitely heard people say things like "Those first few singles were pretty good" (they weren't).

33. Wilco, the plaid Radiohead

all garage bands only ever put out one good single, cos they had no other material.

The Velvet Underground have no influence from r'n'b

lol. I hadn't ever heard that one until that SPIN list a couple months ago.

ringo as a bad drummer is srsly insane

34. <i>Slanted and Enchanted</i> is a "low-fi" record.

35. <i>Radio City</i> is a "power pop" record.

cripes! I keep doing that with the html

36. Katy Perry has DD cup breasts.

37. The Top isn't as strong as the rest of The Cure's pre-Wish output.

38. Q-Tip is "the gay rapper".

39. Pet Sounds is important because it influenced Sgt. Pepper.

47. The Beatles were the most revolutionary, more creative and more distinctive in terms of popular music.

48. Captain Beefheart has an extraordinary 8-octave range or whatever was on that early press release that idiot rock critics keep repeating ad infinitum

I guess fill in #40 - 46 with other specious "is important because" arguments.
"Brian Eno is important because he influenced David Bowie."
"Terry Riley is important because he influenced Brian Eno."
"David Bowie is important because he is one of the biggest influences on David Bowie."
"J.J. Cale is important because his name sounds like John Cale whose name I confuse with John Cage."
"John Cage is important for his work in The Velvet Underground."
"The Jesus and Mary Chain Gang are important because they influenced My Bloody Valentine's Day Massacre."

40 - 46 is -6, guy.

and you're the guy who mysteriously skipped from 39 to 47

If band a sounds a certain way then band b cannot sound remotely like it. Or be using similar influences to a slightly different end.

Or the archetype thing. a certain sound/genre is best represented by this band, how can you think this other band has anything to do with that sound/genre?

The posts of kafkaesque live up to the air of confusion and menace invoked by the adjective.

and you're the guy who mysteriously skipped from 39 to 47

― I'm HOOSin' out, 36 o's, so I'm drivin' round with that steena (some dude), Saturday, July 7, 2012 4:12 AM (Yesterday)

The posts of kafkaesque live up to the air of confusion and menace invoked by the adjective.

― Vic Perry, Saturday, July 7, 2012 10:03 PM (Yesterday)