IT'S THANKSGIVING: Ark Music strikes again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSBq8geuJk0&feature=player_embedded

originally posted here: My God, It's So Full of Shit, Video Gaaaaymes... Rolling Worst Songs of 2012

February, March, May, June, August, September, and October clearly don't exist in this fantasy made up simulacrum of the US.

second favorite part is the series of "wtf why is she rapping during our prayer" when they're at the table

favorite part is the turkey leg microphone

deep lols @ "dance until dawn" t-shirt

The moment when she sings "with the turkey" and there are ribs in the frame is something from my dreams

"dance until dawn, but only with a parent or guardian's permission"

Like actually from my dreams, all I want is for there to be a picture of cheese while someone sings about butter

The moment when she sings "with the turkey" and there are ribs in the frame is something from my dreams

this and the cranberry sauce/mashed potatoes confusion are my third favorite part

She ruins it in the rap tho when she acknowledges that they are in fact ribs

i want to make fun of this some more but can't bring myself to watch it again

The grin on the face of the Ark Music guy as he comes in from the bottom of the frame is so disturbing.

Everything's forgiven
Nothing is forbidden
Sit down with your coven
Giving thanks to Satan

on the one hand, this really does lack the shock of the new of "friday" unfortunately

on the other hand, i can only make it through about 30 seconds at a time before i have to pause it to stop laughing

That turkey had three legs.

i just have so many questions.

how can one man be so excited to grill?

where are the parents? is this peanuts?

why was it seemingly filmed in june?

what kind of thanksgiving involves inviting all the little neighborhood urchins over for dinner instead of like your flatulent grandpa and racist uncle?

Clearly it's the only kind of Thanksgiving a young teenager would sing about. Not really going to have a hit with:

oh here's my racist
fam-il-y
Grandpa farts while we
watch T V

sorry i demand a certain level of believability from ark entertainment group

Mr. and Mrs. Westbrook absent due to 60+ hour weeks in the office, making the money with which to realize young Nicole's dreams of hosting awful dinner parties.

All that food looks like it's made from plastic.

so the 4th of july is in april, right?

Yeah, you've all been doing it wrong.

xxp dude we SAW her cook it—like half of the first 45 seconds was dedicated to establishing this fact

we so excited
for turkey
and ribs
and having killed
all of our parents
with hammers
we we so excited

is it wrong i kinda want to hear an ark entertainment group cover of "jordan, minnesota"?

xxp no, she took a clearly non-ovenproof dish with a so-called 'turkey' on it out of the oven. NASA faked the moon landing, Ark Music faked a Thanksgiving dinner on April 4th July.

strongo OTM

school is out
I can shout
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

it's thanksgiving-giving
and i'm trying to be forging
so my neck, my back
lick my pussy and my crack

i was really hoping there'd be an xpost there to keep me from submitting that, but alas

hahahaha

sorry, mom. this is just the man i turned out to be. perhaps because all of our thanksgivings were violent episodes of whiskey and flung stuffing.

I got ribs
smellin' up my neighbor's cribs
video gaaaaaames

i had to go back and check that "smellin' up my neighbor's cribs" was the actual lyric

so my neck, my back
lick my turkey and my potato

now that I think about it, Lana Del Rey is exactly the figurehead Ark Music has been looking for

december was christmas
january was new year's
april is the cruelest month
breeding lilacs out of the dead land
we so excited

omg

OH OH IT'S THANKSGIVING
THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE

I just laughed so hard when the dude showed up that I snorted and then my cubeperson was like "DID YOU JUST SNORT?!" but the point is that THIS IS AMAZING.

The moment when she sings "with the turkey" and there are ribs in the frame is something from my dreams

― polish your turds for beer and hugs (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, November 9, 2012 3:27 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YES

have fun with the turkey
and the mashed potatoes
nothing is forbidden
except in the state of Idaho
where some of that stuff might be forbiiidden
YEAH

I keep having to pause it but it just keeps giving.

I live and die for Hip Hop
This is Hip Hop for today
I give props to Hip Hop so turkey AAAY! mashed potatoes AAAY!

they cut off the part at the end where she circles turkey guy's head with a sharpie and crosses the 28th off her calendar

DUN DUN DUN

I got ribs
smellin' up my neighbor's cribs
video gaaaaaames

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Friday, November 9, 2012 3:58 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i had to go back and check that "smellin' up my neighbor's cribs" was the actual lyric

― idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, November 9, 2012 4:00 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I just Ctrl + Fd for ribs specifically to see if anyone else had to rewind that part. omg.

oh oh oh it's thanksgiving
we we we we gonna have a good time
nothing to do
but sit around at home
sit around at home
and stare at the walls
stare at each other
and wait til we die
with turkey AYY
and mashed potatoes AYY

YES

i feel like i could sub in albini lyrics all day here and it wouldn't stop being funny to me

if my uncle says one more thing about towelheads
I'm gonna kill him
with the TURKEY AYY
and the mashed potatoes AYY

xpost <3

mashed potatoes
and sweetcorn
or it might be swede
I can't tell

if i was a millionaire i'd pay these guy to have some tween do an autotune cover of "my war" by black flag

to the one true god above
here is my prayer
i'm wide awake
and i should take
a sec and say
him, just fucking kill him
i don't care if it hurts
yes I do, I want it to,
fucking kill him, but first
we we we we gonna have a good time
with the turkey AY
and mashed potatoes AY

I gotta give thanks to you and you and you
Can't be hateful gotta be grateful
Gotta be grateful can't be hateful
Mashed potatoes on my on my table
See, I'm like a murderer, I kill what I eat
See, I'm like a, I'm a hunter-gatherer, see, I kill what I eat
See, I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat
See, I'm, I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat
See, it's Thanks-Thanks-Thanks-giving, give 'em thanks y'all

This becomes less funny once you figure out that some parent knowingly sacrificed their daughter in order to turn her into the next YouTube laughingstock.

... or to give her a really silly+expensive 'personal' keepsake (cf. the touching final moments of the video)

i think we all got over any "oh, the humanity" factor with rebecca black and now we can simply enjoy the bottomless horror of the waning years of american capitalism

Ark Music is the actual Hunger Games.

Poor girl will never again enjoy Thanksgiving

all of her frenemy relatives are going to reference it every fucking year until she is dead!!!

then someone will reference it at her funeral.

Good to see Ark back in the game - their 2012 output suffered from classic "difficult second album" issues. Feel like the Britisher-baiting Ellie Soufi - Hysterical Blood Sausage was slept on and maybe deserved its own inclusion in the rolls of MGIFOS.

the boy in that video looks like ellen degeneres.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l8wZbqTww0

"i think we all got over any "oh, the humanity" factor with rebecca black and now we can simply enjoy the bottomless horror of the waning years of american capitalism" - this should be front and center on the jewel case.

I mean, in the fantasy land where shit like this gets a physical release, anyway.

zomg @ pretty much every second of the "H-A-P-P-Y" vid

The chorus to "Hysterical" is commercial-grade imo

This becomes less funny once you figure out that some parent knowingly sacrificed their daughter in order to turn her into the next YouTube laughingstock.

I think this time around she's in on the joke. As opposed to how Friday was mostly funny by accident.

There's no way this kid hadn't heard of "Friday" prior to signing up for an Ark Music vid.

video still pretty funny even if it's more 'knowing' or w/e

Yeah def still full of lulz

The grin on the face of the Ark Music guy as he comes in from the bottom of the frame is so disturbing.

― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Friday, November 9, 2012 3:30 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

downright Lynchian

esp because he remains the only adult for the remainder of the video, usually dressed in an animal costume

"nothing is forbidden" [horrified look of guest]

this is patrice wilson's best work since "friday"

at first i didn't like all the shamelessly recycled elements of "friday" but then her rap section came and was directly followed by the turkey leg microphone and all was forgiven

i was 100% certain the final shot would be a single teardrop falling onto a picture of her dead parents

http://youtu.be/ssva3IdZ1jI