POLE: My Dick's Double Full-Length Release by My Dick

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http://mydickband.bandcamp.com/

Ultimate Collection
credits
released 17 December 2012
Cool Hand and Hand Solo.

This is so juvenile and stupid, so why I can't I stop laughing?

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Baker Dick 05:44	6
Do They Know It's My Dick? 03:49	4
Dick In Heaven 04:21	3
Dancing In My Dick 03:23	3
What's Up, My Dick? 04:20	3
Orinoco Dick (Bonus Track) 04:20	2
Fields Of Dick 03:41	2
Two Dicks 03:55	1
My Dick Awards 'Record of the Year' Bumper 04:12	1
Dick On My List 04:17	1
Piano Dick 04:42	1
Everybody My Dick Tonight 04:15	1
Imagine Dick 03:42	1
The Way My Dick Is 04:07	1
Fast Dick 05:06	1
Ironic Dick 03:48	0
More Than My Dick (Live on KCRW 12/09) 04:36	0
Don't Go Breaking My Dick (Duet With Gordon Merrick) 04:16	0
A Very My Dick Xmas 02:53	0
No Dick 03:35	0
My Name Is My Dick 03:28	0
Dick Dreams 04:49	0
Harden My Dick 03:17	0

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:33 (thirteen years ago)

Fields Of Dick really hits the spot for me.

― crüt, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:36 (thirteen years ago)

I'm really feeling how they replace the sax line in Baker Dick with a vocal. And, of course, Orinoco Dick is just beautiful.

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:37 (thirteen years ago)

gotta go for Dancing In My Dick. The lyric changes are the funniest

― Number None, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 00:46 (thirteen years ago)

Dick in Heaven is the one that most needed to be made. Plus that title!

― Spectrist, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 00:48 (thirteen years ago)

the Ghost of Ian Curtis track in the awards ceremony one is completely killing me

― too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 00:59 (thirteen years ago)

Do They Know It's My Dick? a sleeper in this one

― NINO CARTER, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:07 (thirteen years ago)

clear front-runner right now is "What's Up, My Dick?" within which lie wonders upon wonders

― too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:08 (thirteen years ago)

lmao this is amazing

― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:31 (thirteen years ago)

nice job on the thread title btw

― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:34 (thirteen years ago)

"been workin' at a my deck store"

― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:35 (thirteen years ago)

DICK obv

― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 01:35 (thirteen years ago)

this is funny because DICK LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL DICK

― Poliopolice, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 02:12 (thirteen years ago)

flagged that post

― an eagle named "small government" (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 02:13 (thirteen years ago)

people it seems we're really immature for laughing at this

― too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:23 (thirteen years ago)

"ironic dick" has an admirable purity

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:46 (thirteen years ago)

Holy fucking awesome fuck

― facile cliff (jjjusten), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:56 (thirteen years ago)

I just downloaded this for one hundred dollars

― crüt, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:57 (thirteen years ago)

not really but I wanted to

― crüt, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:57 (thirteen years ago)

album of the year

― 138 girlz for every 69 boyz (m bison), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:59 (thirteen years ago)

no joke this is the music of my dreams

― 138 girlz for every 69 boyz (m bison), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 03:59 (thirteen years ago)

baker dick is incredible

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 04:03 (thirteen years ago)

This was made for ILM obviously, because "Into the Night" is one of the noms in the My Dick Awards montage.

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 07:13 (thirteen years ago)

Okay now I officially love these dudes.

fb post from xmas day: "Our hearts go out on this day to the victims of Oasis. Never forget."

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 07:19 (thirteen years ago)

"fast dick" for "city lights lay on my dick"

― emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 19:26 (thirteen years ago)

never mind, i jumped the gun too early, should be "do they know it's my dick"

there's a dick outside your window / and it's a dick of dread and fear / where the only my dick flowing is / the bitter dick of tears / and the my dick bells that ring there / all the clanging dicks of doom / well tonight thank god it's my dick instead of you

― emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:02 (thirteen years ago)

they really put a lot of effort in to that one

― Number None, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:04 (thirteen years ago)

okay yes to this

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:08 (thirteen years ago)

I should not be listening to this at work, what if my headphones come unplugged and "EVERYBODY HAVE DICK TONIGHT" blares out across the low cubicles

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:13 (thirteen years ago)

I really could vote for any of these.

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:13 (thirteen years ago)

omg baker dick

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:14 (thirteen years ago)

it's the 'diiiiiiiick' in the background during the sax part

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:15 (thirteen years ago)

yeah

― Number None, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:16 (thirteen years ago)

ah this is hilare

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:20 (thirteen years ago)

Just for fun, my dick says get a job. That's just the way my dick is, my dick will never change.

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 22:21 (thirteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Thursday, 10 January 2013 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

I didn't think it could get better than Baker Dick and then I got to Ironic Dick

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 10 January 2013 00:32 (thirteen years ago)

"Two Dicks" by a mile

― thistle supporter (mcoll), Thursday, 10 January 2013 06:34 (thirteen years ago)

who's gonna be the first to listen to this entire thing from front to back

― lol cassidy fan club (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 10 January 2013 13:58 (thirteen years ago)

the fact that these dudes know enough about Gerry Rafftery to be making "Baker St" jokes means they are probably way too old to be doing this

― lol cassidy fan club (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 10 January 2013 14:00 (thirteen years ago)

who's gonna be the first to listen to this entire thing from front to back

I'm reasonably certain that two of the friends I sent it to have listened to the whole thing more than once

― too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:50 (thirteen years ago)

I didn't do it in one sitting, but I've listened to every single track on it. Several of them more than once (or twice or three or four times).

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:53 (thirteen years ago)

i have listened through it a couple times, for which my wife thanks you all

― facile cliff (jjjusten), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:13 (thirteen years ago)

This is so wonderful, just the effort he puts into singing and going through with what must have seemed like a completely idiotic thing to do after the first half-dozen songs were done.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:18 (thirteen years ago)

I am dying at "my dick is on your lips/when you turn out the light"

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:18 (thirteen years ago)

btw I am doing a full listenthrough right now after skipping throught to get a flavor of each song

still disappointed that "No Dick" wasn't TLC

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:23 (thirteen years ago)

what even is this thing?

― the drawl of the mc's could be farts (NickB), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:23 (thirteen years ago)

it's something WONDERFUL

― Solange Knowles is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:24 (thirteen years ago)

this pole is hard

― "Iron" (Will M.), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:25 (thirteen years ago)

sometimes I wonder in Bizarro World there's an XLI poster named PJD whose posts are all like "ok, that's enough dick jokes" and then overrated aerosmith cosigns all his posts

― too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 10 January 2013 16:27 (thirteen years ago)

Skipping 397 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Only the real my dick understands its craft and the subtleties in its work and that’s why we need a followup.

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Wednesday, 13 September 2023 04:05 (two years ago)

But yeah I agree the funniest parts are when he ruins the natural rhymes by placing my dick awkwardly out of place or in places you wouldn’t expect it.

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Wednesday, 13 September 2023 04:11 (two years ago)

even with that, i respect the careful craftsmanship and subtleties it takes to place my dick in the right place

― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Wednesday, 13 September 2023 04:22 (two years ago)

It comes down to this
Your dick
Your dick
And the dick
It gets under my dick
Within
Take in
The extent of my dick

I would have gone with
Your dick
My dick
And my dick
It gets under my dick

Definitely “the extent of my dick” is a keeper

― sarahell, Wednesday, 13 September 2023 06:03 (two years ago)

I put my hand upon my dick
When I dick you dick we dick

― Make the chats AI (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 September 2023 06:05 (two years ago)

_ really the challenge is knowing where to include my dick and when to leave my dick out of it_

This is really something that should get discussed more by ilxors with dicks tbrr

― sarahell, Wednesday, 13 September 2023 06:07 (two years ago)

I'd like to teach my dick to sing

― Mark G, Thursday, 14 September 2023 09:07 (two years ago)

It's a beautiful dick
Sky falls, you feel my dick
It's a beautiful dick
Don't let it get away

Touch me
Take my dick to that other place
Teach my dick
I know my dick's not a hopeless case

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Thursday, 14 September 2023 18:29 (two years ago)

two weeks pass...

Which is better?

Happy birthday my dick

Or

Happy my dick to you

Or

My Dick Birthday to you

Or

Happy Birth My Dick you

Or

My dick My dick to you

Or
?

― sarahell, Wednesday, 4 October 2023 16:27 (two years ago)

happy dick day to you

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Wednesday, 4 October 2023 16:30 (two years ago)

It was all a dream
I used to read My Dick magazine

― real warm grandpa (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 4 October 2023 17:04 (two years ago)

Remember Rappin' Dick? duh-ha, duh-ha
You never thought my dick would take it this far

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Wednesday, 4 October 2023 20:29 (two years ago)

Happy birthday my dick

Hey... It actually is my birthday and therefore my dick brithday too

― ...eh you get the gist of it (dog latin), Thursday, 5 October 2023 00:35 (two years ago)

My dick My dick to you

Obvious winner here.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 5 October 2023 02:00 (two years ago)

dig latin we have the same birthday, cheers

― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Saturday, 7 October 2023 02:31 (two years ago)

Cecilia, you're breaking my dick

― real warm grandpa (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 October 2023 02:46 (two years ago)

Happy my dick day, table!

― ...eh you get the gist of it (dog latin), Saturday, 7 October 2023 02:50 (two years ago)

I've got so much dick
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter dick
Than my dick in the trees
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make my dick this way
My dick, my dick, my dick
Talkin' 'bout my dick
My dick

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Saturday, 7 October 2023 03:50 (two years ago)

one year passes...

sail my dick sail my dick

― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Friday, 21 March 2025 23:06 (eleven months ago)

― Hedwig and the Angry Ents (sleeve), Saturday, 22 March 2025 01:11 (ten months ago)

one month passes...

My dick my / my dick my / my dick my

― sarahell, Saturday, 10 May 2025 15:40 (nine months ago)

just for fun my dick says get a job

― trm (tombotomod), Saturday, 10 May 2025 15:50 (nine months ago)

Pray for the other dicks

― sarahell, Saturday, 10 May 2025 16:00 (nine months ago)

Shake dick like a Polaroid picture...

― Mark G, Saturday, 10 May 2025 19:48 (nine months ago)

if the artists are reading this, please invent a long backstory, an epic feud, and an imminent reunion

― sleeve, Saturday, 10 May 2025 19:50 (nine months ago)

involving dicks ofc

― sleeve, Saturday, 10 May 2025 19:51 (nine months ago)

I mean, that could be the actual story here! idk

― sleeve, Saturday, 10 May 2025 19:51 (nine months ago)

A true measuring contest

― trm (tombotomod), Saturday, 10 May 2025 19:59 (nine months ago)

"he wasn't interested in the original material I was bringing to the band. he said I was trying too hard to be like Tonetta. but the real rift came when he calculated girth incorrectly."

― sleeve, Saturday, 10 May 2025 20:34 (nine months ago)

two weeks pass...

"You know that Summer penis is gonna haunt you the rest of your life" -- Jonathan Richman

https://www.menshealth.com/uk/sex/a759340/summer-penis-is-a-thing-and-you-probably-have-it/

― DLC Soundsystem (dog latin), Thursday, 29 May 2025 12:11 (eight months ago)

my dick, where you going with that cum in your hand

― reggie (qualmsley), Wednesday, 4 June 2025 21:08 (eight months ago)

two weeks pass...

My name is My Dick...
I live on the My Dick floor

― DLC Soundsystem (dog latin), Friday, 20 June 2025 14:24 (eight months ago)

"Delivery for a... My Dick?"
"Oh no, you've got floor 3. It's on the My Dick floor above"

― DLC Soundsystem (dog latin), Friday, 20 June 2025 14:25 (eight months ago)

two months pass...

“Everybody Have Fun Tonight” came on at work and I had to excuse myself because I was giggling so hard I was crying thinking about the My Dick version

― czech hunter biden's laptop (the table is the table), Wednesday, 20 August 2025 21:46 (six months ago)

if you go to the Bandcamp and scroll to the bottom, the RIYL engine gives you "If you like My Dick, you may also like:"

― J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Thursday, 21 August 2025 01:51 (six months ago)

Baker Dick

― ciderpress, Thursday, 21 August 2025 03:20 (six months ago)

Did they not do "My Duck will tear us apart" ?

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 August 2025 06:21 (six months ago)

Blummin spelling corrector ..

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 August 2025 06:21 (six months ago)

Meter doesn't line up correctly

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Thursday, 21 August 2025 15:16 (six months ago)

My Dick's selections were perfect really. Most of the songs are played-out commercial radio staples that needed taking down a rung

― Now read it backwards. (dog latin), Thursday, 21 August 2025 15:29 (six months ago)

Never meant to cause my dick any trouble
Never meant to cause my dick any pain
Only wanted one time to see you laughing
I only want to see you laughing in my purple dick

― you have to be avant-garde and stupid at the same (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 22 August 2025 15:22 (five months ago)

My Dick keeps on giving

― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 August 2025 00:50 (five months ago)

My Dick … I got My my Dick 40s
My Dick … Rolling on my dick

….
What you got in my dick?

― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 August 2025 00:52 (five months ago)

My dick been running hot
You got me ticking, now don't blow my dick
If you start my dick
If you start my dick, I'll never stop
Never stop, never stop, never stop

― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Wednesday, 27 August 2025 01:47 (five months ago)

Sting is playing with Shaggy at a venue near our house, and we were joking around about a collab, which then reminded me of “Fields of Dick” which truly is one of the funnier ones on this record.

― czech hunter biden's laptop (the table is the table), Sunday, 31 August 2025 11:14 (five months ago)

four months pass...

I
I will be my dick
And you
You will be my dick
Though nothing
Will drive my dick away
We can beat my dick
Just for one day
We can be my dick
Just for one day
And you
You can be mean
And I
I'll drink my dick all the time
'Cause we're lovers
And that is a my dick fact
Yes, we're lovers
And that is that
Though nothing
Will keep my dick together
We could steal my dick
Just for one day
We can be my dick
For ever and ever
What d'you say?

― Jonk Raven (dog latin), Friday, 23 January 2026 11:06 (four weeks ago)

don't you wonder sometimes about sound and my dick?

― reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 23 January 2026 20:57 (four weeks ago)

said someone’s gotta take care of my dick, so i quit school that’s what i did

― andrew m., Saturday, 31 January 2026 04:16 (three weeks ago)

His name was always my dick
And he’d shrug and ask to stay
And she’d sigh like Twig the My Dick
And turn her face away
She’s uncertain if she likes my dick
But she knows she really loves my dick
It’s a crash course for the ravers
It’s a drive-in my dick

― congragulations (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 31 January 2026 04:26 (three weeks ago)

So, so you think you can tell
My dick from hell
My dick from pain
Can you tell my dick
From a cold steel rail?
My dick from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade
My dick for ghosts?
My dick for trees?
My dick for a cool breeze?
My dick for change?
And did you exchange
My dick in the war
For a lead role in my dick?

How I wish, how I wish you were my dick
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in my dick
Year after year
Running my dick over the same old ground
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were my dick

― My homies buttthole surfers' record sounds like a f (Western® with Bacon Flavor), Saturday, 31 January 2026 23:00 (three weeks ago)

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POLE: My Dick's Double Full​-​Length Release by My Dick

Poll Results

POLE: My Dick's Double Full-Length Release by My Dick