music industry wanker words

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1. "artist"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:20 (twelve years ago)

2. "breakthrough"

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:30 (twelve years ago)

3. "project"

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:31 (twelve years ago)

feel like "artist" is useful sometimes

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:32 (twelve years ago)

like if you need a non-specific noun for musicians/singers/producers or somethink

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:32 (twelve years ago)

4. "hotly anticipated"

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:33 (twelve years ago)

5. "eclectic"

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:35 (twelve years ago)

6. "the soundtrack to your summer!"

These goons are from Galactor and who gives a s*** (snoball), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:42 (twelve years ago)

7. "Sophomore album" - no, it's their second album.

Rob M Revisited, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:45 (twelve years ago)

And in relation to the last one.

8. "Difficult second album".

Rob M Revisited, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:47 (twelve years ago)

"buzz"

lex pretend, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:47 (twelve years ago)

10. "Outstanding achievement award" - particularly if related to The Cribs.

Rob M Revisited, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:49 (twelve years ago)

"prepping"

acid in the style of tenpole tudor (NickB), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:50 (twelve years ago)

11. "pop leanings"

:C (crüt), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:54 (twelve years ago)

"burbling synths"

afriendlypioneer, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 18:57 (twelve years ago)

most of you are just reheating the lol dumb journo cliche phrases we have a bunch of threads for already, p sure this was sposed to be something different (if by no means unconnected)

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 19:04 (twelve years ago)

yeah it is different - is it different to press release blurb too? if so how?

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 19:08 (twelve years ago)

12. Hi, how's it going? Just wanted to check you received our download for the new Jip Scrag & the Cellophane Buttz we sent last week. What did you think? Would you be interested in covering it for (insert crappy defunct magazine that you wrote for 3 years ago but has since folded)? They're playing at the Rudley Sprut & Foink next Wednesday night. I have one press ticket left if you would like to come down and cover it? Anyway, hope everything's groovy in your world. Jez x

dog latin, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 21:10 (twelve years ago)

Dog Latin wins

Raymond Cummings, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 21:18 (twelve years ago)

https://lh5.ggpht.com/y573JXyQZwrOVWEJPiBN_donStdqJULUwHurG1hSs1ScRo_b071tWppImsl0TpBdP9s=w705

every soulless meta poster is a ✰ (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 21:22 (twelve years ago)

12. "meet 'n' greet"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 09:47 (twelve years ago)

13. "tastemakers"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:01 (twelve years ago)

14. land grab

nan machine (MaresNest), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:02 (twelve years ago)

15. 360-degree deal

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:06 (twelve years ago)

16. Brit Awards

Vote in the ILM 70s poll please! (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:11 (twelve years ago)

17."one of the great songwriters of our time".
18."a timeless record"

nostormo, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:13 (twelve years ago)

12. Hi, how's it going? Just wanted to check you received our download for the new Jip Scrag & the Cellophane Buttz we sent last week. What did you think? Would you be interested in covering it for (insert crappy defunct magazine that you wrote for 3 years ago but has since folded)? They're playing at the Rudley Sprut & Foink next Wednesday night. I have one press ticket left if you would like to come down and cover it? Anyway, hope everything's groovy in your world. Jez x

― dog latin, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 21:10 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

should really be "Best, Jez" but otherwise otm

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:15 (twelve years ago)

do you ever reply to mails like this? (if you don't want to cover the band that is)
if yes, how do you response?

nostormo, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:19 (twelve years ago)

19. "Long-term development project"

If this was a poll, this ftw.

Mark G, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:28 (twelve years ago)

"territory"

Tim, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:34 (twelve years ago)

21. units

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 10:57 (twelve years ago)

22. schmoozing

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:02 (twelve years ago)

23. sell-through

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:04 (twelve years ago)

24. plays

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:05 (twelve years ago)

25. That little miss little miss can't be wrong.

how's life, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:12 (twelve years ago)

26. Voted

dog latin, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:14 (twelve years ago)

27. Cross-promotional guest spot

Matt DC, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:26 (twelve years ago)

28. London St. Pancras

dog latin, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:45 (twelve years ago)

29. "Noise pop"

Raymond Cummings, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:56 (twelve years ago)

30. For fans of New Order, Electric Wizard, Aphex Twin, The Beach Boys, Daft Punk

dog latin, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:11 (twelve years ago)

31. Epiphany

OG requiem head (Call the Cops), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:35 (twelve years ago)

32. soulful

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

33. troubador

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:47 (twelve years ago)

34. songstress

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:48 (twelve years ago)

just been made aware of this http://musicdescriptions.tumblr.com/ which I think is mostly culled from press releases for dance records. it's germane to this thread I guess inasmuch as they're fairly choice examples of bad journalism with the added weight of dutiful hyperbole

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:48 (twelve years ago)

that said some of the shorter ones aren't really that bad tbh

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:49 (twelve years ago)

journalism i don't really include in music industry wankerdom except insofar as it pathetically attempts to ape it, concern itself with its concerns, etc

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:50 (twelve years ago)

oh jesus, some of those...

“inflicts a sense of urgency whilst simultaneously residing in a backseat slot, a break that suits the coming down lot. Chartered speculation increases a heightened sense of perpetual motion, induced into profound unattached imagery.”

“Its beauty elevates any apathetic subsidence with a soothing tug on a warm blanket.”

dog latin, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:50 (twelve years ago)

PR copy is this weird double-reflexive doppelganger that apes music journalism in an attempt to get actual journalists to ape it in turn

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 12:52 (twelve years ago)

^yes I was trying to find the right words for this

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:00 (twelve years ago)

35. discovery

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:51 (twelve years ago)

36. long-player

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:54 (twelve years ago)

37. Space cows

glumdalclitch, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:55 (twelve years ago)

38. pizza

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 14:31 (twelve years ago)

39. home listening

Call the Cops, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 09:05 (twelve years ago)

40. Home taping

bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 09:16 (twelve years ago)

41. Experimental

Call the Cops, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:37 (twelve years ago)

42. Seminal

dog latin, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:38 (twelve years ago)

43. Mastermind
44. Effortless
45. Not your average...

dog latin, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:41 (twelve years ago)

46. Influential

.... the rest look like Dudley Sutton (Tom D.), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

47. Content.
I had a press release yesterday promising "more content soon", by which they meant music.

From the Tumblr DJ Mencap mentioned, my favourite is “Congealed dreams get dispersed into jazz sensibilities”. Congealed?

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:49 (twelve years ago)

How to you disperse something into sensibilities of any type? I feel like a diagram would be helpful here.

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:53 (twelve years ago)

48. "drops"

john. a resident of chicago., Wednesday, 27 February 2013 12:59 (twelve years ago)

On second reading that "congealed dreams" line reads like ad copy for a surreal cleaning product.

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 13:05 (twelve years ago)

49. stealing music

'Separate Lives', by Phil Collins & Marilyn Manson (PaulTMA), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 13:32 (twelve years ago)

I frequently disperse rage into sarcastic, bitter, and just plain aggressive sensibilities, if that's any help.

Call the Cops, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 13:35 (twelve years ago)

30. For fans of New Order, Electric Wizard, Aphex Twin, The Beach Boys, Daft Punk

― dog latin, Wednesday, February 20, 2013 7:11 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Similarly, usually when the band is "indie" and completely generic it is either Radiohead, Pavement, or The Shins.

Evan, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:30 (twelve years ago)

A congealed jizz-stain of E-40, PJ Harvey and Juan Atkins

lo! dating (dog latin), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:34 (twelve years ago)

"visual." "reveal." "share." "exclusive." "teaser." "trailer."

katherine, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:36 (twelve years ago)

especially "visual." there is possibly no promotional term that gets more on my nerves. IT'S A MUSIC VIDEO. this is like "creative" becoming a noun/verb/adjective/who knows maybe even interjection.

katherine, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:38 (twelve years ago)

if it doesn't leave trails or "breathe", it's not a visual, imo.

how's life, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:44 (twelve years ago)

50. "magnum opus"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:58 (twelve years ago)

51. "forward-thinking"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 16:59 (twelve years ago)

52. "game changing"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:00 (twelve years ago)

53. "David Fricke"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:01 (twelve years ago)

54. "it transcends"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:02 (twelve years ago)

55. "the (insert name of influential artist of the past) of our generation"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:03 (twelve years ago)

56. "the ultimate interview" (it usually isn't)

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:05 (twelve years ago)

57. "return to form" (it usually isn't)

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:06 (twelve years ago)

58. "groundbreaking"

The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 17:06 (twelve years ago)

one month passes...

"cuts"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 13 April 2013 21:13 (twelve years ago)

do you ever reply to mails like this? (if you don't want to cover the band that is)
if yes, how do you response?

"Our site only publishes short poems about records I like. If recent history is any guide, I update every nine months or so. All best, UA"

not feeling those lighters (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Saturday, 13 April 2013 21:29 (twelve years ago)

one month passes...

"two door" referring to "two door cinema club"

john wurster skewers this shit particularly effectivly

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2013 23:11 (twelve years ago)

eight months pass...

"performance"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 7 February 2014 11:35 (eleven years ago)

"vocal"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 7 February 2014 12:20 (eleven years ago)

music industry wanker words

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Friday, 7 February 2014 12:54 (eleven years ago)

surprised "leak" isn't in here yet

lex pretend, Friday, 7 February 2014 12:56 (eleven years ago)

i mean "vocal" the singular, not plural, noun. i.e. "hmmm nice vocal"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 7 February 2014 12:58 (eleven years ago)

eight months pass...

Performance, though??

deej loaf (D-40), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 04:28 (eleven years ago)

59. Renowned

Moka, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 08:09 (eleven years ago)

60. drop

Mark G, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 09:14 (eleven years ago)

61. "collab"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 09:52 (eleven years ago)

62. "promo" as in "doing promo"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 09:53 (eleven years ago)

"can we get some promo?"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 10:18 (eleven years ago)

"promo" is by no means confined to the music industry

lex pretend, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 10:25 (eleven years ago)

true

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 10:31 (eleven years ago)

three years pass...

"album cycle"

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 17:18 (seven years ago)

"legendary"

usually used to describe some also-ran who they're trying to resuscitate

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 17:21 (seven years ago)

Performance, though??

― deej loaf (D-40), Tuesday, October 14, 2014 5:28 AM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YES

GOD YES

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 17:25 (seven years ago)

"oh my god i went to see carly rae jepsen last night"

"no way"

"seriously!!"

"was it amazing?"

"it was such a good performance"

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 17:26 (seven years ago)

BWIP BWIP BWIP BWIP

the music industry wanker word police arrive, their detector box flashing, they shake their heads as they stuff you into their black maria, which they pedantically explain the pronunciation of

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 17:30 (seven years ago)


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