1. Forget everything you know, then remember it.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:43 (twelve years ago)
2. That guitar is melting; don't play it.
3. Halfway through playing, continue playing.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:44 (twelve years ago)
4. Shit through a bassoon.
5. That guitar is melting; play it.
5. Pretend you are being bossed around by a balding old British weirdo
― Bathory Tub Blues (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:44 (twelve years ago)
6. Consider Bono.
8. These cards are terrible, stop using them.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:45 (twelve years ago)
9. Record your vocals whilst hammering nails through your scrote
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:45 (twelve years ago)
10. Don't play a single note for 24 years; then, play an E.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:45 (twelve years ago)
11. Play everything in the style of Dumpy's Rusty Nuts
10. Play whatever you feel like. Except that.
― Bathory Tub Blues (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:46 (twelve years ago)
19. Shit through an oboe.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:46 (twelve years ago)
π. What if God was one of us?
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:47 (twelve years ago)
65. Discard all the ideas you'll have tomorrow.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:48 (twelve years ago)
1. Do you see? If so, stop.
17. go outside. leave the door unlocked and the windows open. come back and find your studio ransacked by thieves. record the album anyway.
― dunham checks in (get bent), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:48 (twelve years ago)
46. See how much Um-Bongo you can drink without going for a wee
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:49 (twelve years ago)
31. Consider your bowels.
(Reversed: Consider someone else's bowels.)
― Home Despot (WilliamC), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:50 (twelve years ago)
10.10.10.10.10. Just good songs.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:50 (twelve years ago)
13. Transcribe the music from Bubble Witch Saga
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:51 (twelve years ago)
89. Shit through a piccolo.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:52 (twelve years ago)
43. The cards are coming from inside the house
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:53 (twelve years ago)
5. Pretend the drum kit is the UN.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:53 (twelve years ago)
888. "Enoch Powell" is a good name to use in a sexy lyric
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:54 (twelve years ago)
~~. If you are basically on board with these cards but also find them a bit precious, go back to page 1.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:55 (twelve years ago)
92. Do everything else first.
― Three Word Username, Friday, 14 June 2013 18:56 (twelve years ago)
41. "Shredding" is not just for documents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:57 (twelve years ago)
xx. instruct your press agent to put these cards on sale at urban outfitters, along with hipster puppies.
― dunham checks in (get bent), Friday, 14 June 2013 18:58 (twelve years ago)
94. Are you the band? Or am I?
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:01 (twelve years ago)
24. Try a Ska arrangement
― Moodles, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:02 (twelve years ago)
735. Use all the presets
― Moodles, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:03 (twelve years ago)
100. What would Jesus do with a marimba?
― possible badger on malware thread (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:04 (twelve years ago)
12. Retire
― wk, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:06 (twelve years ago)
654. Visualize an elephant falling down a flight of stairs onto a flock of geese. You just invented free jazz.
― Moodles, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:06 (twelve years ago)
14. lean and loafe at your ease, observing a spear of 428 hz.
― nicky lo-fi, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:08 (twelve years ago)
1976. circuit-bend an arcade-size galaga machine. have a 12-year-old boy entrap you in the cabinet and leave you there for decades while he produces and takes credit for this and all your subsequent recording projects.
― dunham checks in (get bent), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:12 (twelve years ago)
(Did you all see that a limited edition numbered reissue of the OS set was released last week or so, selling out immediately? You can still buy the regular set at the Eno site.)
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:13 (twelve years ago)
76. Stop eating until your third recording session, when you will have a Pepperami.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:14 (twelve years ago)
98. Fart through a tubax.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:15 (twelve years ago)
555-4302 - phone Brian Eno and ask him what he would do.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:18 (twelve years ago)
555
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:19 (twelve years ago)
Le Freak Strategies: Brian Eno's helpful tips for gettin' some
― Moodles, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:19 (twelve years ago)
666. Summon the Devil. And get him to do your remixes.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:19 (twelve years ago)
74. Stalk will.i.am on Twitter. Incorporate his increasingly angry and profanity laced demands to leave him the fuck alone into your lyrics.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:21 (twelve years ago)
249. Celebrate mediocrity wherever you can! Or alternatively just rip off some old Lee & Herring jokes.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:23 (twelve years ago)
^this one hits too close to home :-(
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:24 (twelve years ago)
67. Just fix your broken PC and finish the album, ffs...
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 19:28 (twelve years ago)
(if we're talking about hitting too close to home)
12. "Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock."
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 14 June 2013 19:38 (twelve years ago)
34. Burn your housecoat; record your slippers.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 20:22 (twelve years ago)
36. Shit through an ocarina.
71. quit ascap and join bmi.
― fact checking cuz, Friday, 14 June 2013 20:27 (twelve years ago)
89. quality ilm thread
― well-composed selfie (Matt P), Friday, 14 June 2013 20:29 (twelve years ago)
97. how many points would that lyric be worth in words with friends?
― fact checking cuz, Friday, 14 June 2013 20:30 (twelve years ago)
69. you can have sex with all of it
― Z S, Friday, 14 June 2013 20:31 (twelve years ago)
1. Hire Flood. Let him do whatever he wants and happily accept credit for it.
― wk, Friday, 14 June 2013 21:08 (twelve years ago)
324. Call Liam Gallagher. Discuss Mark E. Smith. Start footwear collaboration.
― Call the Cops, Friday, 14 June 2013 21:19 (twelve years ago)
78. all the polls
― well-composed selfie (Matt P), Friday, 14 June 2013 21:20 (twelve years ago)
313. You know that Frank Zappa made thirteen billion albums in the time it's taking you to decide on this guitar sound?
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 21:23 (twelve years ago)
8. punch your scrotum. make a diary entry. delete it. make another diary entry, from the pov of paul weller.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Friday, 14 June 2013 21:24 (twelve years ago)
732. pour whisky on the control panel
― Z S, Friday, 14 June 2013 21:28 (twelve years ago)
958. Piss in a wine bottle and then drink it. Especially if you're Brian Eno. Or Kei$ha.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 14 June 2013 21:34 (twelve years ago)
24. run the klon through the blockhead plz
― MaresNest, Friday, 14 June 2013 21:53 (twelve years ago)
16. more cowsills.
― fact checking cuz, Friday, 14 June 2013 22:12 (twelve years ago)
77. Look at a dictionary and shag a goat. Proceed to station E.
― high inerja (seandalai), Saturday, 15 June 2013 01:36 (twelve years ago)
0.1 a BIG guitar solo.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 15 June 2013 04:08 (twelve years ago)
116. R U SHITTING ME?
― the late great, Saturday, 15 June 2013 04:12 (twelve years ago)
57. do it LIKE THIS
― the late great, Saturday, 15 June 2013 04:13 (twelve years ago)
0. Not with your fingers
― align="justify" font="ancient" (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 15 June 2013 04:16 (twelve years ago)
CC. You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10.
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 04:42 (twelve years ago)
9041. Go out for pancakes. Record your absence.
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:05 (twelve years ago)
90210. Up yer bum.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:06 (twelve years ago)
8==>. It is quite possible (after all) that you are a dick
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:08 (twelve years ago)
90125. Leave it
Oblique Desideratagies
1. Go placidly amid the noise and haste2. Remember what peace there may be in silenceEtc....
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:17 (twelve years ago)
-1. Everyone would be so much happier if you were dead. Ditch the flute solo.
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:28 (twelve years ago)
2. Grow a pair
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 15 June 2013 05:36 (twelve years ago)
325. Fill Bono's big LV bag with dogshit and set fire to it on the front stoop. Ring doorbell and leg it.
― Call the Cops, Saturday, 15 June 2013 06:31 (twelve years ago)
45. Get a haircut like Simon Cowell.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Saturday, 15 June 2013 07:42 (twelve years ago)
t/s: "Oblique Strategies" vs. "Grapefruit"
― shohreh aja/danteloo (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 15 June 2013 07:43 (twelve years ago)
488. Play a thing; think of a thing and play it
2991. Kiss the rain
― shohreh aja/danteloo (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 15 June 2013 07:45 (twelve years ago)
123. Okay Edge, play the blues
― MaresNest, Saturday, 15 June 2013 09:53 (twelve years ago)
124. Hire The Edge.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 15 June 2013 15:37 (twelve years ago)
421. Fire The Edge.
― sjuttiosju_u (wins), Saturday, 15 June 2013 15:38 (twelve years ago)
2006. Shit through a pipe organ.
― m0stlyClean, Saturday, 15 June 2013 16:13 (twelve years ago)
999. Paper. Scissors. Stone.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 15 June 2013 17:30 (twelve years ago)
If Fela Kuti were still alive, what would he eat for breakfast?
― _Rudipherous_, Monday, 17 June 2013 04:06 (twelve years ago)
what shoes make the best sinewaves?
― illegalblues, Monday, 17 June 2013 15:37 (twelve years ago)