The wit and wisdom of Doc Stewart

So first Phil Freeman notes this:

I sincerely hope this, the back cover of a CD I just got in the mail, will be the worst album art I see all week.

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/10313961_10204134870634752_6256154172542622479_n.jpg

This led to DJP going to the site and we get this:

http://docstewart.net/code-blue/the-making-of-code-blue/

*side eye*

To quote a bit:

Here are excerpts from my instructions to Tom:

1st Movement Code Pink – Born to See Blues

Just like Cannonball’s music, this needs to be fun and happy‐go‐lucky. I’m thinking of a feel like the tune “Sticks” that I sent you or “Sack ‘O Woe”. Perhaps a waltz or is that too child‐like? On the other hand, a quote of “A Child Is Born” or “Conception” might fit. I’m thinking of surfing, fast cars, chasing girls, and other teenage kind of stuff ‐ rather than nursery rhymes. Stay happy and don’t get too blue as this needs to progress towards the cardiac arrest.

Poll:

 Code Blue 2 ends with alto fills over last chord
 A capella alto intro to Code Blue 3 The Last Breath Blues
 Motif statement by alto with heartbeat at 74 bpm (half note)
 Add cardiac monitor beep in G at bar 8 lining up with the second part of the “lub-dub” sound
 Add funky electric bass at bar 17
 Add funky drums at bar 25
 Add Rhodes at bar 33
 Add a few more 8 bar phrases while sax develops towards an avant garde solo
 Superimpose the thought of Cannonball while running from a bright light that seems to want totake me away
 Rhythm building, increasingly chaotic – then a sudden grand pause
 Human heart sound continues accelerated at 120 bpm with cardiac monitor for about 2 bars
 Monitor has a few erratic beats then about 3 seconds of complete silence
 Sustained cardiac monitor alarm for about 5 seconds identifying the cardiac arrest
 Moog synthesizer mysteriously chimes in
 Overhead emergency page, “Code Blue room 350, Code Blue room 350, Code Blue room 350″steadily fades out from start to end
 Visceral groan sound over Moog synthesizer which fades out quickly
 Complete silence except for a series of 3 defibrillator shocks
 Heart beat resumes at 85 for two bars (half tempo of next tune 170)
 Add cardiac monitor beep in the key of C at third bar to set up for the next tune
 Gasping breath sounds
 Build cardiac monitor chord every 4 bars, adding the 5th then the #9
 Big band hits the last chord on a C7(#9)
 Segue into Code Blue 3 Code Jesus in the key of C

Is this how he does his operations?

Is that a picture of Doc Stewart trying and failing to resuscitate the saxophone?

The nurse ain't helping.

not pictured - clarence clemons expiring quietly on the other gurney

hes just not a very good doctor

the ghost of LeRoi Williams looking disapprovingly over his shoulder

man, I really wanted the music to be worse than it is but it's basically nondescript jazz played non-embarrassingly

really? track i heard sounds like the intro to Dream On

http://docstewart.net/biography/

2013 – November 17 completes Tempe Ironman Triathlon
2014 – January 9 Dad dies in Mom’s arms
2014 – February 15 Doc Stewart surfs 10 foot Pipeline north shore Oahu

there's nothing particularly positive about "nondescript jazz played non-embarrassingly"; every snippet I listened to was wholly devoid of personality but I didn't hear anything that would imply dude didn't know the mechanics of his instrument, which is what I was hoping for

also his bio is the best

Aw, this guy doesn't seem so bad.

It's not that he's "bad" as much as he is "hilarious"

I mean, that album cover is killing me, I wish the music matched it

Visceral groan sound over Moog synthesizer which fades out quickly