Items you could never wear

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Oh yeah - they're rarely a good idea.

master of retardment (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 00:57 (fourteen years ago) link

i am sort of opposed to the idea that items i could never wear exist, on principle, but those spaghetti strap long dresses that people wore over baby tees in the '90s looked horrible on me.

horseshoe, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 01:08 (fourteen years ago) link

ginormous batwing shirts -- you make me look lost
i will never wear you

The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 01:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, I would like to be the kind of crazy art teacher lady who wears sculpturally draped tunics and geometric flowing things but they all give the impression I am swimming in shapeless mushy fabric. You need shoulders and height for those. RIP my dreams.

I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 14:30 (fourteen years ago) link

i only started even considering tunics. being short is a style hazard.

The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link

like, nice pajamas middle schooler is not the look i'm going for

The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 14:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Can you live in my brain? Wd appreciate yr commentary on all areas of life.

I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link

lolling at "nice pajamas middle schooler" still.

I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link

dudes, there are so many things i would never wear, so many...
and yet, here i am wanting, desiring, a pair of skin-tight black leather pants

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 5 November 2010 23:02 (fourteen years ago) link

or maybe just a pair of cheapo h&m faux-leather leggings

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 5 November 2010 23:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Wife beaters!

Aviators!

the bhagavad geeta (rip van wanko), Friday, 5 November 2010 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Wallet chain!

the bhagavad geeta (rip van wanko), Friday, 5 November 2010 23:43 (fourteen years ago) link

lol those three things are like a uniform for some people

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 6 November 2010 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

shoes, men's shoes, with a buckle or buckles. ack!

jed_, Monday, 8 November 2010 12:48 (fourteen years ago) link

I really don't think I could wear a baja

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 November 2010 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link

cosine the buckles on shoes. Horrible.

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 November 2010 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link

I think they look great with knickers.

amazing disorder (rip van wanko), Monday, 8 November 2010 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

ok that's really not an image i needed

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 November 2010 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

In the English speaking world, in particular United Kingdom, Ireland, some Commonwealth countries, and occasionally in United States, knickers is a word that is used to describe women's and occasionally (but quite rarely) men's underpants and undergarments, women's lingerie, and for sports pants sportswear. In the United States it more commonly used as a short form for Knickerbockers, a type of golfing pants, also called Plus fours.

kkvgz, Monday, 8 November 2010 13:02 (fourteen years ago) link

http://rochesterbargolf.com/images/knickers.jpg

kkvgz, Monday, 8 November 2010 13:03 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.buffalobreathcostumes.com/wolthuis.aspx?productid=930&size=medium

kkvgz, Monday, 8 November 2010 13:04 (fourteen years ago) link

like i said

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 November 2010 13:04 (fourteen years ago) link

either way

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 November 2010 13:04 (fourteen years ago) link

meant women's panties, natch

amazing disorder (rip van wanko), Monday, 8 November 2010 13:07 (fourteen years ago) link

hi guys!!!!

I have such a list of these.

Pink
Yellow
shorts
sneakers/tennis shoes
athletic wear of any sort unless I am actually exercising (I don't exercise really anyway)
baggy pants
capri pants
pants in general really, I don't have much beyond a couple pairs of skinny jeans
anything too hippie (poncho, bells etc)
anything patterned (exception: stripey tops and tights)
anything navy or white unless it's a really good band t-shirt
any shade of brown (including gold trim/hardware/jewelry)
open-toed shoes
shoes that are not black (would make an exception for the right red or silver)

this sounds kind of awful but it is easy to get dressed I guess

teeny, Saturday, 13 November 2010 03:09 (fourteen years ago) link

I probably share like 80% of those, teeny. I'm a red, white, and black dresser; haet brown, esp brown shoes. I make exceptions for patterns I like but florals are almost always a terrible idea (for me). Etc.!

I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Monday, 15 November 2010 01:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Hi Teeny :-)

I won't wear shorts, capris (my legs are too short for them), or hair dye.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 15 November 2010 01:25 (fourteen years ago) link

My hangup with capris is they're so Mormon. BYU won't let you wear shorts on campus so all the girls wear capris, making them look prematurely old, IMO.

Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Monday, 15 November 2010 01:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Tho I have super short friends who appreciate the existence of capris as regular length pants.

Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Monday, 15 November 2010 01:27 (fourteen years ago) link

i only wear capris that are just below the knee, and only with cute shoes
looks cute and 50s rather than sad and 00s

The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Monday, 15 November 2010 01:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah I am thinking the ones that are 4 or 5 inches above your ankle that have like elastic toggles, and cargo pockets, things like that, are the unwearable ones.

Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Monday, 15 November 2010 01:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Tho I have super short friends who appreciate the existence of capris as regular length pants.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Sunday, November 14, 2010 5:27 PM (20 minutes ago)

you don't have to be super short to appreciate these - you just need to have a bit too much junk in the trunk ... and thighs

sarahel, Monday, 15 November 2010 01:49 (fourteen years ago) link

would rather walk barefoot over broken glass and used needles than wear Crocs

The Jolly Roget's Thesaurus (S-), Monday, 15 November 2010 02:10 (fourteen years ago) link

i only wear capris that are just below the knee, and only with cute shoes
looks cute and 50s rather than sad and 00s

Those are called pedal pushers, and I do wear those on occasion. Regular capris make my legs look even shorter than they are. (I'm a 5'6" woman with the legs of a 4'11" one.)

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 15 November 2010 23:52 (fourteen years ago) link

you don't have to be super short to appreciate these - you just need to have a bit too much junk in the trunk ... and thighs

<old joke>

"Capri is an island, not a continent!"

</old joke>

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 15 November 2010 23:55 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...

http://www.lupashoes.net/l/Skechers-Shape-Ups-Optimize-11801-BBK.jpg

Skechers Shape-Ups
the ugly shoes that say "I think I'm fat!"

great & spacious building (Abbbottt), Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Hopefully no one here owns a pair...ok.

great & spacious building (Abbbottt), Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Also, I am a little incredulous that they actually do anything, you know?

great & spacious building (Abbbottt), Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:31 (thirteen years ago) link

they protect the soles of your feet from the longest rusty tetanus nails, but not much else i don't think
pokey shards of glass, i guess

Ralpharina (La Lechera), Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:36 (thirteen years ago) link

* when you step in poop, it will be an inch or two further away from your actual foot/sock

* raises the hem of those elastic waistband pants you like so much and ensures that they don't drag in the dirt when you walk

* sort of has that creeper look so when you get them at the thrift you can lie and say you're going for a certain aesthetic instead of just wearing ugly used shoes

Ralpharina (La Lechera), Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:39 (thirteen years ago) link

I had a pair of MBTs when I was a floor nurse. I don't think they toned my ass or anything, but they make you so much taller than if you were wearing regular sneakers.

kate78, Sunday, 20 February 2011 23:44 (thirteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Woah I just saw this thread but Abs Ive got to say a rocked the crochet poncho in the 70s and my secret wish is that it comes back in style for adults.

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 June 2011 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link

kkvgz i only wear dark wash flares or bellbottoms. my ankle width of choice: 23"

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 June 2011 20:43 (thirteen years ago) link

what i would never wear: jeggings. It seems logical to me that if something makes a size 0 models look fat they probably aren't going to work for me.

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 June 2011 20:44 (thirteen years ago) link

if something says 'chambray' i jump back like a poltergeist hand just came through my tv

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 June 2011 20:46 (thirteen years ago) link

i only started even considering tunics. being short is a style hazard.

― The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Wednesday, November 3, 2010 9:37 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark

Australians have this problem where they have short legs and really long torsos. I recently discovered instead of buying gigantic tops i can buy tops from the 'tall' section and 30" pants. GOD BLESS AMERICA

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 June 2011 21:03 (thirteen years ago) link

Those shape up shoes are clinically proven to do nothing.

I feel like I can't wear red lipstick because it makes my teeth look like a row of yellow yellow corn kernels.

You just need to find the right red! "True" reds like Cherries in the Snow or whatever look fucsia on me and make my teeth look yellow, but an orangey red looks pretty good.

I am sure I could wear glittery shirts with plastic shiny crap sewed all over the neckline* and those shirts/dresses that look like somebody tried to iron on a decal but the shirt was folded up so not all of it got covered by the pattern, but I won't. Shapeless, v-neck t-shirts make me look automatically 15 years older than I am. I hate shorts, although I did recently cut off a pair of jeans at just-below-the-knee length and I guess they look okay.

*I was wandering through the women's plus size sale racks at Macy's last week and it hit me that clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit. I mean, it's been years with that shit. When will it end? WHEN WILL IT END???

phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Saturday, 11 June 2011 21:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Leather vests

corey, Saturday, 11 June 2011 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link

moccasins

homophobophobia (disambiguation) (cozen), Saturday, 11 June 2011 21:27 (thirteen years ago) link

I was marching behind two very very small women yesterday and it was like, how do ppl treat you when you never get bigger than a small 12yo? I bet it's not super duper funtimes somehow.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Sunday, 17 May 2015 15:05 (nine years ago) link

V. Neck. Tees.
Hate them with a white hot intensity.

rip van wanko, Sunday, 17 May 2015 17:35 (nine years ago) link

V necks are my very favorite, on tees and any other item of clothing (blouses, dresses, sweaters, etc.).

Alas, I am a woman with a nice rack, if I do say so myself. Deep v-necks on men are obv a thing now and I'm not so crazy about the look on dudes as on women.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 17 May 2015 18:43 (nine years ago) link

i like vnecks on everyone
why to hate them with such an intensity?

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Sunday, 17 May 2015 18:49 (nine years ago) link

i hate v-necks on men too. especially the super deep ones. ughhhhhhh

just1n3, Monday, 18 May 2015 02:02 (nine years ago) link

i am with LL, viva la v neck

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 May 2015 02:38 (nine years ago) link

On guys they look either The Gap Zombie or... eurotrash. They look great on girls.

rip van wanko, Monday, 18 May 2015 02:44 (nine years ago) link

They look good on anyone imo. Just cuz someone wears generic clothes doesn't mean they're a zombie! Lotsa interesting ppl come in plain packages.

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, 18 May 2015 03:23 (nine years ago) link

#normcore

kate78, Monday, 18 May 2015 05:35 (nine years ago) link

V necks are very "out" rn but I don't mind them nec

My biggest pet peeve rn is the septum piercing which I'm afraid to state publicly

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 18 May 2015 08:28 (nine years ago) link

Depends on the V - a deep one is very Red Carpet Now.

Madchen, Monday, 18 May 2015 10:41 (nine years ago) link

She could wear anything, on or out, and still look amazing.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Monday, 18 May 2015 12:07 (nine years ago) link

Alas, I am a woman with a nice rack, if I do say so myself.

you are otm! I am v fond of v necks due to rackage + a short neck

Mistah FAAB (sarahell), Monday, 18 May 2015 15:52 (nine years ago) link

otm

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 May 2015 16:44 (nine years ago) link

Maybe V-necks got American Apparel-ized and that's why everyone hates them? Not sure. They're my favorite bc I dislike being choked also I am short and welcome vertical lines.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Monday, 18 May 2015 16:55 (nine years ago) link

^^^^

ljubljana, Monday, 18 May 2015 18:43 (nine years ago) link

V necks are the most flattering for the larger boobed among us to wear for sure. I am medium of boob size and prefer either a deep scoop or V.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 27 May 2015 13:15 (nine years ago) link

Overall though boatnecks are my favorite because I love how classic they are and because they help balance out my shoulder and hips.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 27 May 2015 13:16 (nine years ago) link

eight months pass...

this is the dumbest most pointless garment i have seen in a long time
i have no idea what its purpose is other than to make one's chest look like felix the cat
http://g.nordstromimage.com/ImageGallery/store/product/Large/19/_11971079.jpg

La Lechuza (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2016 14:42 (eight years ago) link

it was billed as a "bralette" which i thought was supposed to be a functional garment/a small bra

La Lechuza (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2016 14:42 (eight years ago) link

i loathe shopping

La Lechuza (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2016 14:43 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

is that a fetish garment? like a slightly more demure spanking skirt for boobs?

sarahell, Friday, 15 July 2016 18:20 (eight years ago) link

Idk!! I found it in the everyday bra selection and was like o_O

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 15 July 2016 19:01 (eight years ago) link

Bras are kind of weird now, that's what I gathered

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 15 July 2016 19:01 (eight years ago) link


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