Items you could never wear

* when you step in poop, it will be an inch or two further away from your actual foot/sock

* raises the hem of those elastic waistband pants you like so much and ensures that they don't drag in the dirt when you walk

* sort of has that creeper look so when you get them at the thrift you can lie and say you're going for a certain aesthetic instead of just wearing ugly used shoes

I had a pair of MBTs when I was a floor nurse. I don't think they toned my ass or anything, but they make you so much taller than if you were wearing regular sneakers.

Woah I just saw this thread but Abs Ive got to say a rocked the crochet poncho in the 70s and my secret wish is that it comes back in style for adults.

kkvgz i only wear dark wash flares or bellbottoms. my ankle width of choice: 23"

what i would never wear: jeggings. It seems logical to me that if something makes a size 0 models look fat they probably aren't going to work for me.

if something says 'chambray' i jump back like a poltergeist hand just came through my tv

i only started even considering tunics. being short is a style hazard.

― The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Wednesday, November 3, 2010 9:37 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark

Australians have this problem where they have short legs and really long torsos. I recently discovered instead of buying gigantic tops i can buy tops from the 'tall' section and 30" pants. GOD BLESS AMERICA

Those shape up shoes are clinically proven to do nothing.

I feel like I can't wear red lipstick because it makes my teeth look like a row of yellow yellow corn kernels.

You just need to find the right red! "True" reds like Cherries in the Snow or whatever look fucsia on me and make my teeth look yellow, but an orangey red looks pretty good.

I am sure I could wear glittery shirts with plastic shiny crap sewed all over the neckline* and those shirts/dresses that look like somebody tried to iron on a decal but the shirt was folded up so not all of it got covered by the pattern, but I won't. Shapeless, v-neck t-shirts make me look automatically 15 years older than I am. I hate shorts, although I did recently cut off a pair of jeans at just-below-the-knee length and I guess they look okay.

*I was wandering through the women's plus size sale racks at Macy's last week and it hit me that clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit. I mean, it's been years with that shit. When will it end? WHEN WILL IT END???

Leather vests

moccasins

somebody tried to iron on a decal but the shirt was folded up so not all of it got covered by the pattern

Lolling so hard at this. Or someone ironed a decal on a shirt that was already PLAID!

http://s7.sears.com/is/image/Sears/040D3687000?hei=600&wid=600&op_sharpen=1

clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit.

OMFG YES!!! I always thought that it was a sign of contempt for heavy women -- like "LOL you're as big as a Christmas tree, I will make clothes for you that make you look like a Christmas tree!"

if something says 'chambray' i jump back like a poltergeist hand just came through my tv

― Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, June 11, 2011 4:46 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark

Watching the X-files the other night I found myself saying outloud, "Nice Chambray buttondwon Scully." She may have even been wearing a turtleneck under it.

oops - button-down

I feel like I can't wear red lipstick because it makes my teeth look like a row of yellow yellow corn kernels.

You just need to find the right red! "True" reds like Cherries in the Snow or whatever look fucsia on me and make my teeth look yellow, but an orangey red looks pretty good.

I think blue-based reds are supposed to make your teeth look whiter.

I can't wear red lipstick at all because my lips are too big and I look like a clown.

the WORST uniform I ever had to wear was a short sleeved chambray button down that was only available in men's sizes and only L and XL. I am a rather small person, and we were required to TUCK IN our work shirts, so I had this almost knee length shirt with sleeves that went past my elbows crammed into my cords. It was ATROCIOUS and v uncomfortable. I looked like someone had shrunk me with a lazer gun but I was still wearing my very old very ugly clothes.

clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit

my wife got a gift certificate to this really clubbed out mall store. total euro trash clothing. she figured why not go look, maybe she can find something tastefull. she was trying on some jeans and she noticed some shiny bedazzled shit on the ass pockets. she said no thanks, but the salesperson said to her "no really. think of it like this. you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow and that guy notices. these pants are hot". she gave him back his pants and threw away the GC

and the light hits your ass like pow
hahaha

POW!

x-post

lol lech one summer when I was working at my parents restaurant my mom decided our summer uniform would be short-sleeved mens chambray shirts and khakis. Of course they also had to be tucked in. I found of a picture of me wearing that recently. It was AWFUL. I was not very happy with her that summer.

When the light hits your ass
like a big pizza pow
that's a gift-card

OH my god stop, today is too brilliant.

Ha! I was super pissed about that uniform too. I was supposed to wear khakis but I refused (naturally) and I wore these little boys-sized Levi's turquoise cords I got at Goodwill. I looked like a total bozo.

To this day, I cannot wear khaki or navy pants or collared golf shirts because I feel like I should be taking an order or wiping a table.

I'm kind of with horseshoe in that I don't like to say there are things I cannot wear, but here is a thing that I cannot wear: a capri suit. That's right, a set of matching capri pants and blazer. I saw someone in this today and while she looked okay, I guess, I imagined how I would look in that and was like "holy shit."

lol

it doesn't sound like a good look

I can't really wear anything that's too ruffly, deliicate, futsy or really girly looking. I find that as a tall woman I shy away from things that are cutesy. They always just look really weird on me. I tend to stick to things with classic simple lines and have fun with accessories. It sucks because it means there's a lot of really nice stuff that i just can't do but I've learned that it just looks too weird.

Right there with ya and I'm short.

i'm short and love frilly ruffles! (sorry)

My mom sort of instilled it in me that tall girls shouldn't do cutesy but I guess for me it's sort of a personality thing too. I just can't picture myself in frilly flouncy things even though I often find them really nice. Take chiffon for instance. I don't think I have or will ever wear anything made out of chiffon. I just can't do it.

even though sometimes I sort of want to

i still live in the vain hope that i may never again have to wear a tie, but i'm not sure that's the point of this thread

On a whim I just google searched and someone out there is making suit that consists of capri pants and a 3/4-length sleeve blazer. I mean what?

I like ruffly fluffy things but feel like they are too fussy for me. Any clothes that make me feel like I'm trying too hard are very mentally uncomfortable for me to wear.

On a whim I just google searched and someone out there is making suit that consists of capri pants and a 3/4-length sleeve blazer. I mean what?

omg

this is just

capri pants and a 3/4-length sleeve blazer

Surely this would just look like you shrunk your whole outfit.

someone out there is making suit that consists of capri pants and a 3/4-length sleeve blazer

thom browne, amirite???

capri pants and a 3/4-length sleeve blazer.

This seems...reasonable to me? I'm not sure I'd go for capris, but if I had the kind of legs that could wear cigarette pants, there have totally been suits with cigarette pants and an evening-ish jacket on top for forever.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0X4NhY5UCAM/SrrOpxHtIdI/AAAAAAAAAWA/oYJtvBf5Z30/s1600-h/butterick7557.jpg

lol, i was gonna say thom browne too

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2011/6/17/12/carlos-santana-in-a-see-through-shirt-22157-1308327057-18.jpg

....

oh no

I don't get it.

When people make fashion mistakes that horrific it's especially mystifying to me because presumably he a) looked in the mirror and thought, "Yep, I look dope" and b) encountered other people (wife, friends, etc.) who let him go about his day wearing that monstrous ensemble. I mean really, how can that be?!

Maybe everyone he knows secretly hates him?

maybe he had the jacket zipped and no-one knew the shirt was sheer until after he left the house?? i mean

how does this happen?

oh I just noticed the shirt, fuuuuuuuuuuck

"If I just put on a jacket and take off the gimp mask, I can just go out like this. Oh wait the trousers are arseless."

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS!

It's . . . tragic.

sheer tees are for superfit gays and models in editorial shoots imo, and then only sometimes