Items you could never wear

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If you wanted to be covered in the many and varied colors of cat hair you could just own a couple of cats. It's really not necessary to mimic them with tapestry.

I say wear the cat vest over the dog dress, go full menagerie and confuse everyone as to which team you're on

:)

The cat vest is v nice tapestry, but the fact that it is cats makes me say no. It lives in the category with the kind of christmas sweaters worn by slightly elderly women in weird department stores like Gottschalks

not so much that i couldn't wear this, but i definitely wouldn't. it looks almost exactly like a stationery set i got at pier 1 in high school.

http://productshots3.modcloth.com/productshots/0119/5774/c07750a81b865be933e2954ec505d37c.jpg?1348090966

perhaps a useful outfit if you like to cosplay as a genealogy website

reminds me of those tops they sell at costco with the weird antique writing screen printed on them with like PARIS bedazzled in fake rhinestones

Gladiator sandals....sexy or granola? I had a pair when I was like 13 or so....I thought they were cool but cannot remember how I wore them at all. Recently been hmmmm gladiator sandals, the kind that lace...why do I want to explore? WHY?!

I love traditional leather gladiators - I finally found a pair on etsy made in israel, but they killed my feet.

I really liked them til the last outdoor music festival I went to; I saw 10,000 of the bloody things in one weekend and I AM SO DONE WITH THEM

but they can look super cute, I totally get the appeal

the flat-footedness of them is bad for me though. I need a bit more support in my old age

I want this whole look, but sadly I do not think it will ever happen. Pink hair stripe and metallic gloves and all.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5a6b4fb68d464f53ba3e210edf37230d/tumblr_mhfmtmSD401r7vejfo3_250.jpg

hot!!

though her pose makes that sheer section look like she has a wrinkly old-lady stomach

I NEED SPORTS SHOES. Like...cross-training ones? For random gym classes and doing laundry, that will save my feet/look hip? The fact that I just said "hip" is probably damning already.

I've hated athletic shoes for so long I seem to have completely come around on them and now I want the brashest neon ones out there (nb: may be a slight exaggeration).

SO...I supinate and have shin splints and high arches, and I'm never going to be a runner again but I will wear these to self-defense/fitness/hip-hop/zumba/whatever classes.

Thinking...

http://www.zappos.com/reebok-realflex-strength-tr-flat-grey-solar-green-coral-contrast

those are p cool looking!

I know! I'm struggling to find shoes for my foot shape/activities that also aren't too bulbous, or worse, intended to mimic going barefoot, which is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. No, I want my giant ugly athletic shoes to feel like THE OPPOSITE OF BAREFOOT, tyvm.

In fact I want them to cushion my feet like I am floating on clouds being sung to by angels. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I got some comfy lightweight nikes from their outlet not long ago. None of that barefoot garbage. clouds + angels otm

TBRR I think that it is good to get to a point where you truly do not give a shit and just get some trainers that fit your feet well and give you the support to make you feel good; you are doing a service to mankind (esp womankind) to just send the message to stfu if you think my shoes are lame.

^^^tbh I was recently forced into this position due to packing/travel activity disconnect. I did not really recognize myself in a T-shirt/non-hip jeans/running shoes; the other choice of packed footwear was thong sandals, which would NOT have been helpful for fun adventures. So I wore my trainers and looked like a Texas housewife and decided to be fine with it.

fwiw i see all these people on fashion blogs wearing the nike free/lunar type shoes with the neon soles. like with regular outfits not just for the gym. i got a pair myself (black, not neon) because yes it's necessary to wear sneakers with a suit on the way to work, i don't care

burger dress

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1186714_10151804572992171_1777733390_n.jpg

burger dress!!!

omg burger dress!

that would end up looking like a stretched out casserole on me, lol

the fried eggs are a little high but there it is
burger dress
i do like the illusion of a lettuce peplum

"hey i like that dress? is that...nachos? lasagna?"

j/k would totally wear

Germany's Dirndl Revival
Long considered the dusty uniforms of an older, more conservative generation of Bavarian women, dirndls are making a comeback, even catching the eye of fashion designers.

lol yeah

wtf
http://www.betabrand.com/womens/bottoms/blue-vajamas-pajamas-drawstring-pants.html

I don't think you said that loud enough, LL:

WTF!

omg that brand.

$85!!!

So Soft, We Couldn’t Name Them Anything Else

Why are Vajamas so soft? Because they're made with 100% Vagisoft. And just how soft is Vagisoft? Let us explain:

Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.

Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create pants so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be removed from them with the Jaws of Life!

The Tactile Soft-O-Meter® is a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness.

But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-meter says it, so be it!

unspeakably awful copy

They look like they're made from bath towels.

They look like they were made from that same stuff they sell at Target, like fuzzy throw blankets. Seriously I thought the professional yoga pants were trolling, but then i saw this. i don't even know what to think tbh.

Who buys these? Serious question.

this brand is like the west coast answer to Jersey style

Vagisoft

why vagisoft
why

A seam up the middle is never vagisoft

is it

why are they

how

okay wtf

i can never wear boat shoes -- like sperry topsiders type shoes -- because i get blisters on my heels.

maybe if they made boat shoes out of vagisoft material...

please never again use 'vagisoft' in a sentence and then go dot dot dot at us.

Maybe if they made men's shoes out of material named for vaginas...men would fuck them? I mean I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think there.

NB that is not serious, my contempt is entirely for whoever named that sanity-forsaken product.

cool it with the coy ellipses treeship

Having initially seen this thread title as "Items you could never wear in 17th Century Catholic Spain" my initial thought was probably a Star of David necklace. having re read the thread title, I guess that doesn't count.

http://static1.betabrands.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1150x673/0dc2d03fe217f8c83829496872af24a0/b/l/1150x673xblue_vajamas_8.jpg.pagespeed.ic.anTK4O3yq0.jpg

Family of the future.