too real
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
I bought a skateboard. A leather skateboard. I ollied over my teenage self.
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:35 (eleven years ago) link
I went to Brooks Brothers late at night. Dressed in my leathers. I masturbated on the window. Something I had never been able to do.
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:37 (eleven years ago) link
i dont care about rich people buying leather jackets but seriously please stop saying 'rocker' and stop wearing rings that have skulls on them, you are like 60, jeez
― ò_ó, ó_ò, õ_o (Lamp), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:39 (eleven years ago) link
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE SEX TOURISM??
I also went to Hong Kong and Macao with some friends. We went to sex clubs, many, many sex clubs with many, many women. We became tired. Four days seemed like four years.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:39 (eleven years ago) link
he is a terrible person
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:41 (eleven years ago) link
by the time i got to that part i was just like of course you are a sex tourist
Although having yelled that, I'm not sure what else to say about it. Kinda leaning towards "this man is an odious blot" but hey, at least the cup overflowething with entitlement is clearly visible in this one instead of being hidden behind bowties and WASPy manners?
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:41 (eleven years ago) link
yeah i feel like he was pretty otm abt being a narcissist, like theres nothing really good abt him coming out w all of this, except for the lolz
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:43 (eleven years ago) link
I found a Prada leather in my butthole. It was the same as the one i was wearing. I went online and bought a third. My wife doesn't think I'm a monster.
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:45 (eleven years ago) link
this is one of the most hilarious things i've ever read
― A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:47 (eleven years ago) link
i probably should've kept reading past the skull ring parts huh
― ò_ó, ó_ò, õ_o (Lamp), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:48 (eleven years ago) link
I found myself submerged into the "dark web," where I could fully indulge in my dual pleasures of human trafficking and buying exotic leather goods. i bought gloves made from the skin taken from the back of a young cambodian girl. they were gorgeous. i was hooked. i bought more. a beautiful leather wallet with prison tattoos that i keep on a chain, taken from the thigh of a russian hustler. i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:53 (eleven years ago) link
Thank you, you're a genius.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:54 (eleven years ago) link
I occasionally wondered to myself why I felt the need to murder prostitutes. But then the need returned like a wave. Why ask questions. I was its slave.
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:55 (eleven years ago) link
i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 11:53 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
lmao
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:58 (eleven years ago) link
it does kinda time out, patrick bateman +30 yrs
― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:02 (eleven years ago) link
i was about to say!
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:04 (eleven years ago) link
i do love the fact that he takes such pride in how many people 'compliment' him on his clothing, like he doesn't understand that most people just have the basic decency not to laugh directly in his face
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
*preemptive praise*
omg lagoon i love u for this thread for real
I CANNOT WAIT TO READ THAT GQ PIECE OMG THE PHOTOS AHAHAHA
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:26 (eleven years ago) link
only issue with the piece is that it's dying for more photos
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:27 (eleven years ago) link
oh god it's already delivering:
Before I left, I promised my wife I would be restrained. She is very concerned, because she knows what can happen. But inches from the runway, waiting for the smooth mannequin boys with surgically removed hips and buttocks swaying like sunglassed Gumbys with the newest designs from creative director Frida Giannini, I know the promise is useless.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:30 (eleven years ago) link
waiting for the smooth mannequin boyswaiting for the smooth mannequin boyswaiting for the smooth mannequin boyswaiting for the smooth mannequin boyswaiting for the smooth mannequin boyswaiting for the smooth mannequin boys
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:31 (eleven years ago) link
tell me that he's trolling. tell me that he hasn't delivered this up for the sole purpose of hilarity
It has taken a while to figure out what works and what doesn't work, but Gucci men's clothing best represents who I want to be and have become—rocker, edgy, tight, bad boy, hip, stylish, flamboyant, unafraid, raging against the conformity that submerges us into boredom and blandness and the sexless saggy sackcloths that most men walk around in like zombies without the cinematic excitement of engorging flesh.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:32 (eleven years ago) link
it's like he's possessed by Don Simpson
please tell me it ends with him snorting rails of coke off a Gucci model in his hotel room
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:34 (eleven years ago) link
what in the
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
whoever said he's like grownup Patrick Bateman upthread -- SO OTM
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:49 (eleven years ago) link
On Oct. 8, 2012, Buzz endorsed Mitt Romney for president.
― buzza, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:53 (eleven years ago) link
Buzz Bissinger has a future in Gucci/leather fanfic
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
buzza bissinger
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
why couldn't buzz just buy a guitar and hire some session musicians to record a horrible vanity album
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:03 (eleven years ago) link
why does he have to express his rocker image via pants that NOT ONLY prominently showcase his crotch and BUT ALSO prompt its tumescence
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:05 (eleven years ago) link
why are you so cruel, buzz
no one wants to look at the outline of your dick
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:06 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7IC5MtynLE
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:06 (eleven years ago) link
i just came here to post this. and i thought buzz couldnt own any harder
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:08 (eleven years ago) link
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:34 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
lol
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:09 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
ha yes this is willful ignorance
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:45 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:13 (eleven years ago) link
someone needs to follow him around and get me a gif of him dancing in his leather pants a nightclub
and for ever after, whenever he douches out on twitter or vomits his egomaniac bile anywhere I can just look at the dancing gif and know that he's the most hilarious person alive
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:17 (eleven years ago) link
*at a nightclub
this guy owns harder than 99% of ilx, especially elmo
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:19 (eleven years ago) link
uh oh
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:21 (eleven years ago) link
uh?
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:21 (eleven years ago) link
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:22 (eleven years ago) link
elmo: haha get a nutritionist u slob
*the ground rumbles as buzz, now in the form of a monster truck sized katamari ball made of gucci products, rolls over elmo and the light dies from his stupid eyes*
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:23 (eleven years ago) link
whatever u do elmo, dont agree to meet & fight h4a in person
― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:24 (eleven years ago) link
Was I homosexual because so much of what I wore is associated with gays? I did experiment. And while I don't think it is my sexual being, I can tell you that gay men as a group are nicer, smarter, have a shitload more fun than straight whites. Was I veering toward becoming a dominant leather master in the S&M scene, the leather fetish an obvious influence in most of the clothing I purchased and in much of high fashion itself? I did experiment. Was I a closeted or maybe not so closeted transvestite? Tom Ford makeup is divine; the right foundation and cheek blush and eyeliner and lipstick can do wonders for the pallid complexion. Thigh-high boots add to any wardrobe, although walking on six-inch stilettos for hours is just a bitch and therefore confined to the privacy of my house, seen only by the UPS man, who at this point could not possibly be surprised by anything. But a dress or skirt just doesn't look good on me, and I can't ever do a thing with my hair. The look I was going for was more David Bowie androgynous. It wasn't successful.
― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:25 (eleven years ago) link
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18ionzslzv8qujpg/original.jpg
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:28 (eleven years ago) link
i wouldn't mind his pants so much if he tightened up that body a little bit
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:31 (eleven years ago) link
that new book sounds right up my alley imo, i am def going to check it out
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 20 September 2022 19:46 (two years ago) link
Women love it. Minorities love it. White men are terrified
new ilx politics board description?
― the late great, Thursday, 22 September 2022 15:41 (two years ago) link
also agree this guy a legend and new book sounds great
― the late great, Thursday, 22 September 2022 15:42 (two years ago) link