Items you could never wear

I NEED SPORTS SHOES. Like...cross-training ones? For random gym classes and doing laundry, that will save my feet/look hip? The fact that I just said "hip" is probably damning already.

I've hated athletic shoes for so long I seem to have completely come around on them and now I want the brashest neon ones out there (nb: may be a slight exaggeration).

SO...I supinate and have shin splints and high arches, and I'm never going to be a runner again but I will wear these to self-defense/fitness/hip-hop/zumba/whatever classes.

Thinking...

http://www.zappos.com/reebok-realflex-strength-tr-flat-grey-solar-green-coral-contrast

those are p cool looking!

I know! I'm struggling to find shoes for my foot shape/activities that also aren't too bulbous, or worse, intended to mimic going barefoot, which is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. No, I want my giant ugly athletic shoes to feel like THE OPPOSITE OF BAREFOOT, tyvm.

In fact I want them to cushion my feet like I am floating on clouds being sung to by angels. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I got some comfy lightweight nikes from their outlet not long ago. None of that barefoot garbage. clouds + angels otm

TBRR I think that it is good to get to a point where you truly do not give a shit and just get some trainers that fit your feet well and give you the support to make you feel good; you are doing a service to mankind (esp womankind) to just send the message to stfu if you think my shoes are lame.

^^^tbh I was recently forced into this position due to packing/travel activity disconnect. I did not really recognize myself in a T-shirt/non-hip jeans/running shoes; the other choice of packed footwear was thong sandals, which would NOT have been helpful for fun adventures. So I wore my trainers and looked like a Texas housewife and decided to be fine with it.

fwiw i see all these people on fashion blogs wearing the nike free/lunar type shoes with the neon soles. like with regular outfits not just for the gym. i got a pair myself (black, not neon) because yes it's necessary to wear sneakers with a suit on the way to work, i don't care

burger dress

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1186714_10151804572992171_1777733390_n.jpg

burger dress!!!

omg burger dress!

that would end up looking like a stretched out casserole on me, lol

the fried eggs are a little high but there it is
burger dress
i do like the illusion of a lettuce peplum

"hey i like that dress? is that...nachos? lasagna?"

j/k would totally wear

Germany's Dirndl Revival
Long considered the dusty uniforms of an older, more conservative generation of Bavarian women, dirndls are making a comeback, even catching the eye of fashion designers.

lol yeah

wtf
http://www.betabrand.com/womens/bottoms/blue-vajamas-pajamas-drawstring-pants.html

I don't think you said that loud enough, LL:

WTF!

omg that brand.

$85!!!

So Soft, We Couldn’t Name Them Anything Else

Why are Vajamas so soft? Because they're made with 100% Vagisoft. And just how soft is Vagisoft? Let us explain:

Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.

Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create pants so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be removed from them with the Jaws of Life!

The Tactile Soft-O-Meter® is a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness.

But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-meter says it, so be it!

unspeakably awful copy

They look like they're made from bath towels.

They look like they were made from that same stuff they sell at Target, like fuzzy throw blankets. Seriously I thought the professional yoga pants were trolling, but then i saw this. i don't even know what to think tbh.

Who buys these? Serious question.

this brand is like the west coast answer to Jersey style

Vagisoft

why vagisoft
why

A seam up the middle is never vagisoft

is it

why are they

how

okay wtf

i can never wear boat shoes -- like sperry topsiders type shoes -- because i get blisters on my heels.

maybe if they made boat shoes out of vagisoft material...

please never again use 'vagisoft' in a sentence and then go dot dot dot at us.

Maybe if they made men's shoes out of material named for vaginas...men would fuck them? I mean I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think there.

NB that is not serious, my contempt is entirely for whoever named that sanity-forsaken product.

cool it with the coy ellipses treeship

Having initially seen this thread title as "Items you could never wear in 17th Century Catholic Spain" my initial thought was probably a Star of David necklace. having re read the thread title, I guess that doesn't count.

http://static1.betabrands.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1150x673/0dc2d03fe217f8c83829496872af24a0/b/l/1150x673xblue_vajamas_8.jpg.pagespeed.ic.anTK4O3yq0.jpg

Family of the future.

Cat otm

hideous

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1/1891289_10152228919532171_247173884_n.jpg

I saw this in a Vanity Fair advertisement. Oh HELL no

http://www.tods.com/media/postcard/main_image-1011-6550-W_Doppia_A_SS14.jpg

the shoes are p ugly on their own but the dress? skirt/top? to me is like a hairdresser's smock, the kind you wear backwards

plus I would look like a sofa

wtf is this gigantic ankle length tshirt with a slit in it?! http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/Tops/entity/dc/999999/sc/3047/278171.uts

Just imagine how much fun you'll have styling this fabulous maxi tee! Jersey knit fabric forms a long sleeved, crew neck shirt that sweeps all the way to the floor, while sexy side slits cut all the way up to the waist.

like it's not a dress because there's a slit up to the waist
it's not a shirt because it goes all the way to the floor

Oooooh I am kinda down for that tbh. It's perfect for wearing over leggings to give you a little cover for your curves and a swishy movement for the eye.

Veg just reminded me tho: I hate, haaaaaate, driving shoes. I hereby promise that I will never wear them IN MY LIFE.

i dunno man
it seems kinda like a sheet with sleeves

I saw a very curvy woman wearing a short-sleeved one of those at a party on Sat, over extremely tight jeans. I thought "Well that's a new look" but on reflection I totally like it and might have to indulge. (Gives me an excuse to buy wildly patterned leggings that I can't wear without a lot of coverage around the hips.)