buzz bissingers gucci addiction

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the greatest evidence of buzz bissinger's psychosis is not that he has spent $600,000 on leather clothes, but that he can afford to spend $600,000 on leather clothes and still chose to host a daily radio talk show in philadelphia

A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:42 (eleven years ago) link

hahahahah

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:42 (eleven years ago) link

otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:42 (eleven years ago) link

I bought dozens of boots, some with a flat or low heel that any man can wear, some with five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear.

getting kenan vibes

Heyman (crüt), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

lol

go to party leather (ENBB), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

still chose to host a daily radio talk show in philadelphia

― A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

as someone from philly, this is otm + it hurts me

乒乓, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:45 (eleven years ago) link

I was getting a 'balls' vibe

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:45 (eleven years ago) link

hahahaha curtis

A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:45 (eleven years ago) link

okay you guys, I really do try to be open-minded and accepting/tolerant of the harmless foibles of others, but:

Think it's easy to be different in America? Try something as benign as wearing stretch leather leggings or knee-high boots if you are a man.

the knowledge that I am not as liberal or accepting as I would like to be is drowning in a sea of belly lols

Darth Icky (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:46 (eleven years ago) link

I expect you to be wearing exactly that the next time I see you.

go to party leather (ENBB), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:47 (eleven years ago) link

I could totally get away with wearing stretch leather leggings to YYYs

however I am certain my balls would melt

Darth Icky (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:48 (eleven years ago) link

Think it's easy to be a woman in America? Try wearing pretty much anything.

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:49 (eleven years ago) link

it's not so much a man wearing these items

it's really only 100% that it's BUZZ assface BISSINGER wearing them that makes me deliriously happy

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:49 (eleven years ago) link

I like turning around and seeing the poor lost souls in the gulag of the higher rows. I hope they hate me, chattering chipmunks trying to figure out who the fuck is this poseur, or however it's said in Fashion Italian. Then again, I don't see them dressed to kill, in an $8,000 Gucci pony-hair jacket that no one else in the U.S. has and wax-coated black jeans, shiny and sheeny and sizzling.

his jeans are on fire?

Darth Icky (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:50 (eleven years ago) link

I apologize if everyone else has already covered all of this, I just need an outlet since I can't scream with laughter at work

Darth Icky (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:50 (eleven years ago) link

i think the real joy of this piece is seeing everyone's reactions in real time

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:51 (eleven years ago) link

dressed to kill in a pony hair jacket

tee hee

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:51 (eleven years ago) link

xx-post - You kind of have to wear leather leggins to that show now. Seriously though.

go to party leather (ENBB), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:51 (eleven years ago) link

leather leggings are fun and cool, just... maybe not a wise choice if you're a man pushing 60

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:52 (eleven years ago) link

ilxor males need to adopt buzz as their style spirit animal

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:53 (eleven years ago) link

Still looking around at the crowd, noticing across the runway at least twenty-five attendees from China, the Wild West for high fashion, I feel the insecure contradiction of pride and self-doubt. I look good. I do belong, but briefs from Jockey are taking away a little edge: At least no one can see them. Everything else I am wearing—the jacket, the pants, the scarf, the boots—has been chosen in careful consultation with my sales associate at the Gucci flagship store in New York, whom I think of as the Divine Stylist, except for the Jockey shorts.

I think he should have done another readthrough on this section because omg that last sentence lololololol

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:53 (eleven years ago) link

know that if I happen to meet any of u in person i expect, nay demand, leather leggings and pony hair jackets

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:54 (eleven years ago) link

it's really only 100% that it's BUZZ assface BISSINGER wearing them that makes me deliriously happy

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:49 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah thats what really makes this wild

turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:54 (eleven years ago) link

He'd already established he picked his own underwear; that tag makes it sound like he's talking about the Divine Styler's underwear, by which I mean alternative hip-hop artist Marc Richardson

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:55 (eleven years ago) link

I want to take that tv thing he did years ago, remember when he went on that stupid Costas show, the townhall meeting where he yammered on and on about deadspin username 'ballsdeep' (which was funny in itself)??

I want to take that and paste over his suit with his ridic gucci leather clothes, and just have goodbye horses playing faintly in the background

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link

honestly the most compelling thing about this is the oscillating tone. is he proud? ashamed? aroused? well yes, he's most certainly aroused. but is he contrite? possibly. embarrassed? self-aware? horny? very very horny. yes. insatiably horny. buzz.

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link

he's virile MUTHAFUCKAS

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link

LEATHERY AND VIRILE

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link

towards the start he writes something like "i'm writing this so i can maybe force this habit into remission and help others who have the same problem" and by the end he's all "you know what, fuck it, this is who i am, i'ma do me" *hair flips*

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:59 (eleven years ago) link

some of these have been posted but here you go for future reference: http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/buzzs-outfits/#photo-1

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:00 (eleven years ago) link

NO TEA NO SHADE BITCHES. BUZZ OUT

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:00 (eleven years ago) link

getting kenan vibes

― Heyman (crüt), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:44 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

man i didn't want to say anything but

congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

just a guy getting in touch with himself

max, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

at sex clubs in macau

max, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

his wife mustve been psyched to see an article that simultaneously calls her a slut AND frigid

max, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:02 (eleven years ago) link

I bought dozens of stretch jeans and leather leggings and leather pants that sculpted my lower body the way I wanted, with no room for speculation.

dear lord

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:03 (eleven years ago) link

I stand in front of the three-way mirror wearing a mock-up and am fastidiously measured by one of Gucci's finest experts on tailoring. A second person assists him. Both of them step back for perspective. This is why Italians should run the world.

what does this mean

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

italians should run the world, because tailors

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

"i'm writing this so i can maybe force this habit into remission and help others who have the same problem"

this is just a cover for him getting off on writing about his leather pants boners in a national magazine

A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

I remained steadfast in my Brooks Brothers uniform, except for the time my father took me to a wholesale-clothing store. There was good quality at good prices, probably because there was no hint of ambience, just racks of clothes where size was a game of chance. But I felt like I was in a New Orleans whorehouse, colors and bright checks serving as my hookers. My dad bought me a sculpted jacket with an intricate pattern of orange and black, and a pair of pants in the same colors that fit tight.

I was scared to wear them at Andover. But finally I did during a parade up Main Street on Memorial Day. I marched because of the anonymity it afforded, surrounded by a shield of other students and professors. I suddenly felt an erection in those pants, as wonderful as it was troubling, since observable blooming bulges never had any upside at prep school. But I experienced a sexual vitality I had never felt before in my life.

I never wore them again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:06 (eleven years ago) link

italians should run the world because buzz likes the way they eye his package

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:07 (eleven years ago) link

okay page 5 just ruined my entire day

I did not need a rundown on the many types of boning done by Buzz Bissinger

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:09 (eleven years ago) link

i read this at like 10 this morning, how much do you think i got done?

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:10 (eleven years ago) link

http://cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/2012-08-16-17-04-53.jpg?w=420

Hey Dan.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:19 (eleven years ago) link

those boots are the lol

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:20 (eleven years ago) link

I just keep thinking "my wife would LOVE those boots" and then I remember Buzz Bissinger is wearing them and then my mind juxtaposes Buzz Bissinger in one of my wife's wrap dresses

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:21 (eleven years ago) link

sort of feeling like hey if buzz can wear those leggings maybe I can too then my brain shuts down

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:22 (eleven years ago) link

there is a guy who comes into the restaurant where i work, he's probably the same age as buzz give or take a few, and he usually wears little capris-length tights and little fur-trimmed high heeled booties with black polo shirts and a salt & pepper crew cut, and it actually works as a look.

it does help that he's petite and svelte and has excellent skin and has excellent poise and carriage

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

I am trying to imagine the circumstances where I would spend $600K on clothing over 3 years and the only scenario coming to mind is "clothing the kids at the orphanage"

which then leads to a mental image of a Tiny Tim analogue in Gucci leather leggings and one of my wife's wrap dresses and it's right back down the lol hole

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link


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