Boobs, I mean, Bras, and the eternal frustration

I think I am in sag denial ... on a vaguely related subject, one of the actresses in Synecdoche, New York was sporting side boobs. I realized that I don't really have side boobs.

you don't want them, believe me.

they do go to the side, but because of their, er, width, there isn't a major gap between them.

my eternal frustration continues, and i just made my FOURTH order with bare necessities in, uh, a month? i now, however, have one bra that fits me better than any bra has fit me before. everything else is being returned, ffs.

i like their customer service. i called them at 3 am and left a msg about adding something to my order if they could and call me back but NOT before 10 in the morning because before then i might kill someone, but after then i have to be awake anyway. i don't think i told them all that.

they called me at five after 10. and now my order is straightened out.

i got the shock absorber bra i linked to upthread, so if it fits, i will come back to this thread and rejoice.

a big annoyance with bra manufacturers:

in british/european brands (panache, wacoal, fantasie, etc.) my band size is a size larger than my measurements. ok, whatever, i don't like things too tight on me. so i figured that was my band size for bras, full stop.

then today i tried out a bunch of vanity fair/lily/american less-expensive bras, and i'm swimming in the same damn band size. i can see cup sizes being variable according to style. so it goes. but fucking band size?

the ribcage measures x inches. the band size should be x inches.

the shock absorber bra, though: fits! hurrah! i really like it.

how did you go about finding the right size for the shock absorber?

and does it really hold things down well?

grrrrrr can't find the wacoal bra I like and can't read the labeling inside (worn right off) so I cannot search the internets for the exact same one!

Out of laundry & wearing something today that is basically like not wearing a bra. Useless.

also, stupid felina changed the undies I like; I stocked up on a bunch before realizing the banding was different and now have to deal with riding-up-the ass new model!

I hate that ...riding-up-the-ass undies are horrible.

i found these super cheap no-riding-up-the-ass undies at target - they're like $7 for 6 pairs. sure, they look hideous, but they feel GREAT.

do you go to the Target in El Cerrito? That's a seriously fancy Target.

hmm i dunno - it's the huge one right off the freeway. i never pay attention when my chauffeur is driving me around.

I guess it's technically Albany, but yeah that's the one ... huge!

every time we go there to buy one thing (usu undies/bras) we end up coming out with a cart-full of stuff. that place just sucks me in!

tehresa, i ordered the same size in shock absorber as i do in wacoal, and it seemed to fit well. i seem to need a different size in european bras than in american ones--i'm 34 in ribcage with american ones, and 36 is more comfortable in european. so i go up a band size, down a cup size when i consider european bras. though tbh i've kind of given up on american bras. i'm sick of bra shopping, and now at least i have a couple that fit.

i ended up returning the shock absorber bra, tho, because there are two fasteners at the back, with a big space in between. if that makes sense. that's great for support, but it also meant that i had to wrestle to get the fucking thing on. for that price, it seemed ridic.

i have no idea what my wacoal size is. i think i'm gonna go to title 9 on wed and just pay for an expensive bra and get it fit right and then order online from then on.

i finally went to title 9 and now i have an awesome bra. it is by moving comfort. they were v helpful! i went for a mini run tonight and it was a completely different experience :)

ok so this is for those of you who aren't too comfortable with having a stranger fit you for a bra: http://fortnightlingerie.com/find-your-size/

If you aren't comfortable w getting professionally fitted for a bra, you probably should get over it, tbh (With the caveat that I wouldn't be comfortable w a man doing it, but I've never been anywhere that had men as, er...fitters. Does that even exist?). But I guess if you can't get to a place with that service an online guide and some general pointers will still be an improvement.

I think smaller women can get away w a poor fit a lot more than women that need shape + support just for daily comfort/function.

justine's link is good, though. that's the way to measure yourself. there's a lot of confusing sizing info online, even at major lingerie sites. any bra sizing guide that tells you to add numbers to your ribcage measurement or bust measurement before calculating cup size is outdated and inaccurate. you can come up with really comical measurements--i measured as a 36A with one of those guides once. i am nowhere near that size.

it would be best, of course, to go to a lingerie store where someone could feel you up and determine not only your size but the styles and brands that would fit you best, but some of us aren't going to be able to do that. you can figure out bras just fine with persistence and your own (correctly done) measurements. i had a hell of a ridiculous bra quest, but i managed it.

when you get the well-made, supportive stuff for larger busts, that shit gets really expensive, though. i could afford bras so much more easily when i was wearing the wrong size.

has anyone tried these before:

invisible demi bra

invisible pushup bra

my wedding dress has a low back, so i'm trying to figure out my options. i like the idea of these^^ but i'm wondering about how well they actually work. also, i'm worried about the 'pushup' aspect of them, as i don't want to actually be falling out the front of my wedding dress.

also considering one of these convertible bras because they have that really low back, but the straps look like they might bulge through the fabric of my dress.

i had a friend who used those invisible bras for special occasions. her opinion of them was that they were great for c cups and under.

i love convertible bras, myself. i had a great backless one when i was maid of honor in my sister's wedding.

what's the fabric of yr dress like?

Why not a low-back bustier thing?

There's even this one, which is all microfiber, seamless, and wireless. Might be more comfortable for all-day, esp in that soft & flowing dress?

On second thought, I don't think the center plunge is low enough on that one, but then I don't think the VS invisibles were low enough either.

yeah, that bustier is really nice but probably not low enough in the back or the front. i was playing round with the dress last night, different ways to wear it, and the way i really want to wear it means that the whole back is exposed, and the neckline is is really low. so i'm thinking i will only be able to wear those adhesive things (the ones that are separate, not joined at the cleavage).

the dress comes with a matching bandeau for more coverage, which could work well in the front, but i think it looks really unsightly in the back, even wearing the dress differently.

the fabric of the dress is modal jersey, self-lined.

maybe these?

OMG that link. I am wearing nowhere NEAR the correct size and haven't done for years.

Though I'm confused as to the adding numbers to get from the inches around your back to the "band size" thing. Trying to work out if I'm a 40F or a 44D but either way that's nowhere near what I'm currently wearing (which is actually vastly uncomfortable.)

I'll go to M&S tomorrow and try some bigger boob cup sizes and see if it helps.

that link i posted: i'm a about 3 cup sizes bigger using their method than i am using VS's fit guide or bare necessities. so take with a grain of salt.

really like this, but this site doesn't have 360 degree pics, so i can't see the front.

Well, I've been wearing a C cup since I was 18, just increasing the back size. I can no longer squish myself into a C cup, so I might try either a D or something larger.

just1n3, even the product's website doesn't have a front view, but you can see how low cut the front of Miley Cyrus's dress is when she's wearing one.

i just found a place that stocks them, out near where we're headed today, so i'm gonna see if i can try one out. fingers crossed!

i was trying on the bandeau again, and even with that on i still can't wear a bra with a back strap bc it shows right through the thin material.

http://jezebel.com/5500379/the-marketing-woes-of-36dd

In the past decade the median bra size in America increased from 36C to 36DD.

really?!?! i guess i shouldn't be surprised, but wow i gotta say that had no idea
(i am barely a b)

i blame oprah. i remember when she went on this big kick about going down a band size and up in the cup. all my friends went and got new comically sized bras.

i was thinking that bras had the inverse of the women's clothing sizing problem (ie sizes were artificially small even though clothes kept getting bigger) -- bra sizes keep getting bigger to make women feel that they have big boobies but the boobs themselves aren't growing

?

if i went up in cup i would be floating (or not) in space

If I went down a band size, you'd find me slumped over my computer, unable to operate my legs because no blood was circulating to my lower body.

i seriously need new bras right now but i am so scared of attempting to find the correct size :\

k ILS, i have to ask.. what to wear underneath white/light-colored tops and tshirts and such?! you're supposed to wear nude-colored bras with them obvs but i am several shades paler than most "nude" colors i can find. not sure where to look. and man.. 36dd?! i barely wear an a. dnw pushups/lots of padding either, prefer no wires even. this is driving me crazy.

(annoyed with self for having purchased & not returned this white summer top from apc last year, under which you might have to wear a tank because even with a lining it's semi-sheer.. but wtf, it's for summer when it's too hot for extra layers)

I don't care about color showing through as much as I hate lumpiness and lines. Wd rather wear a black bra under a white shirt and have it be smooth and well-shaped then a white bra that bunches or has seams that show.

I generally go the "nude"-colored route, but yeah, it's an enormous pain to find something like your skin. Buying bras is a nightmare if you pay any attention to the details.

If you don't need the support and it HAS a nominal lining already, why not use a sticky shaper thing to make sure no nip shows through, and let the rest vaya con dios?

i find that even if the nude color is not the same as my skin (which is like ghostly white), it generally looks fine under white. however, i wear white shirts once in a blue moon, so ymmv. also pale pink can work sometimes.

i always just wear a thin cotton tank. in fact, it is the same thin cotton tank i have been wearing for a shockingly long time. i'm gross.

in fact, i am wearing it today!

this whole nude bra under white shirts is a revelation for me. I just have a coupla black bras and a coupla white ones.

OK, that was insane. I went to M&S and tried on a dozen bras. I am a 40DD. (I think a 42D would have done as well but couldn't find any.)

Where the HELL did all that breast come from? Please tell me bra sizes have just been pushed up to make women think they have bigger boobs.

Apparently the place to go in the UK for a fantastic fit is Rigby and Peller. They do the Queen's. But then I guess you have to buy one of their Queen-priced bras.

i've found that a certain shade of pink works well under white tshirts, or lavender. i'm medium pale.

as for bra size, i'm baffled by the articles about how there are such higher averages, and vanity sizing, and all of that. when i was in high school, i measured myself according to the bali guide i had, and measured as a 36D. i interpreted this as a horrific mistake of some kind, and stuffed myself into c cups for years and years to follow. it was the simple (and for me, accurate) way of measurement--ribcage size, bust size, subract to find cup size. no added numbers or further complication.

now my size is different. in my experience, american bras fit better if i get them in my measured size or near that size--a 34 band is a 34. (maybe vanity sizing varies depending on your size range? i haven't found vanity sizing in american bras at all. and i would probably be horrified if i had to try on something a cup size larger than my actual size. i have issues.)

american companies don't make anything remotely supportive for my size, tho. fuckers. european sizes seem to almost uniformly run small, so i go up a band size and down a cup size. but they're wonderful and supportive and they actually fit me. i find the common styles that fit me decently, and then look for them on ebay, because i hate the idea of spending $60 for one bra.

it's all far too complicated and annoying.