beauty myths debunked & rebunked

seaweed wraps

my grandfather was a pharmacist and used to scoff at the fancily-named compounds named in cosmetic ads. "alpha-hydroxy? bullshit!"

"cosmeceuticals"

i've read that some cellulite creams can cause temporary (and minor) tightening of the area to which they're applied, but the instant you stop regularly using them everything reverts back. doesn't seem worth it to me.

ha, "cosmeceuticals" is a pet peeve of mine!

use hemoroid craem instead

you know, that's actually supposed to be excellent for temporarily combating dark under eye circles as it causes strong constriction of the blood vessels.

^^i have also heard this, as well as for puffiness.

epilators/home hair removal devices that aren't razors or tweezers

I have actually had very good results with the home microwavable wax, about $4 at Sally's.

You don't need gauze. You just nuke it about 1 minute, press it on with the plastic spoon and pull it off with your fingers.

Please note the wax (at least the kind I tried) is BLUE, so make sure you allow time to clean off the residual blue wax before going on a date or something.

(I like how deez is such a fan of the style threads)

i got the bliss "poetic waxing" (har) kit on clearance for $8 a while back but have yet to use it. before that i did basic stuff (lip, minor brow maintenance) with the sally hansen strips, which were fine.

epilators/home hair removal devices that aren't razors or tweezers

If you see those little hair removal "mitts"? They are pretty much just fine sandpaper or emery cloth. They take hair off (also: skin) by abrading it. Regrowth may be finer (doh, you wore the end down to nothing), but ingrown hairs may be rampant.

eek, that sounds horrifying.

I used one of those once, it sanded most of my skin off along with the leg hair. Do Not Recommend.

ouch! that's part of the violent strain of beauty rituals (see also: body brushing) of which i am afraid.

even waxing is too scary for me!

Waxing has never gotten me anywhere good, but I suspect I'm kind of bad at it, and I've never had a professional job done.

the body brushing thing fascinates me as well as frightens me, actually, because it seems like such a clear-cut example of a modern hairshirt. like: you're bad and fat and cellulite-ridden, so every morning you have to get out the brush and aggressively (and painfully) dry-scrub the afflicted body parts to make them disappear.

It's a little too much like GATTACA, I'm afraid.

i know it sounds kind of terrible...but i've kind of always wanted to go the russian baths and be beaten with branches...it seems like it would be a good way of getting rid of a cold or destressing?

There's got to be a happy medium between the skin of the body actually benefiting from stimulation, and self-flagellation. I mean since most of my/our skin is under my clothes all day, it needs a little something (which is why I'm partial to old, scratchy towels), but it probably doesn't need me to ritually scrape it away. I dunno, I want to try the Russian baths, too.

(I like how deez is such a fan of the style threads)

Me too. Who knew?

Me too! Im liking Deez more and more every day.

anyway, back to beauty bunks:

Ive got some microwavable wax which I only use for eyebrows (not legs - too painful and difficult to navigate). The strips never worked for me. The micro rip it off with your finger wax rules though.

Someone tell me what the deal with Nair is. Last last time I went near Nair was when I was maybe 15 in the late 80s and my strongest sense of it is that it reeked. I mean oh my go reeked and the smell clung to your legs even after you showered. Im guessing its different now. How long does it last. Its kind of frightening, right?

I now swear by roll-on wax--I will look for a link. Very easy and not very messy; I can do a professional-level job myself for muuuuuuuuch less money.

This is it

Really? It's that good? That sounds intriguing.

The one time I tried waxing at home was with strips and almost as bad as the one time I tried professional waxing (which I know I've written about before but was seriously traumatizing). I was trying to do my bikini line and had to ask L to help (yeah we're one of those no holds barred share everything couples) and it just turned ugly. So much pain! So much lost skin!

if i tried to do it myself, i would probably put the wax on and be too chicken to ever pull it off.

I tried to wax my own armpits once (lol highschool). O!M!G! OWOWOWOWOWOW! Finally I had to take a single-edge razor blade and very carefully cut the (cold and hard as a rock) wax off.

Re bikini lines: I wd like those bathing suits with the sailor collars and the matching hats AND THE SKIRTS to come back in, please.

I just do lower legs (not much hair on upper legs--I just hit that with a razor every now and then). I don't find it particularly painful, but I've been doing it for long enough that I may just be used to it.

I go the profs for brazilians. I am tempted to try them myself, but the crazy yogaesque poses that would be required are somewhat daunting.

Me too! Im liking Deez more and more every day.

Who else is loving deez nuts?