Items you could never wear

Unless it was the one thing available that could save me from death by freezing, I could never wear a poncho.

I got made fun of in 1997 for having hand-me-down jeans with little side zippers at the ankle when everyone else was wearing JNCOs. Little ankle zippers, you are now anathema.

TBH I could not ever wear JNCOs either. Maybe anything associated strongly with junior high is right out.

oh man, JNCOs -- so glad I never have to be a sixth grader ever again

shiny shirt

I feel like I can't wear red lipstick because it makes my teeth look like a row of yellow yellow corn kernels.

Oh god, one more reason I'm glad I'm not a girl. My teeth don't need anything drawing attention to them.

I have a couple knitting friends my age who are really into snoods

http://ericleetroyer.com/wp-content/uploads/snoodjpg.jpeg

I don't know why but when I tried one on it made me feel like I was giving of vibes of fecundity and homeliness, a weird combo.

I had no idea that was called a snood

makes me want to say "you nood a snood"

when i was a bit heavier, i thought i could totally rock A-line dresses. instead, people would ask me, "so when are you due?" it was pretty humiliating to say, "i am not pregnant, i'm just fat."

also - stirrup pants - never again!!!

Stirrup pants OTM.

Spur pants, otoh, I would consider.

I miss JNCOs and Kikwear, particularly on women. I saw a girl wearing them at school back in '06 or '07 - it was like, where the hell did she come from?

Idaho, probably. My 17-year-old brother bought a pair of Kikwear pants a few weeks ago & called me to brag about it.

white pants

^^ what are JNCO and kikwear? ankle zipper Guess jeans were the pinnacle of junior high fashion, when i was in junior high.

Mohair sweaters, but only because I am pretty sure I am allergic to mohair.

sarahel, JNCO and Kikwear were huge bellbottoms worn by ravers between say 1995 and 2000.

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/967/731216ou5.jpg

hipster onesies - or whatever they call those things that are a shapeless tunic + culottes

xp - ah thank you - by that point i was "safely" in adulthood

I totally rocked that bellbottoms look in 1997ish! Not as a raver, though.
Strapless boob tubes that are elasticated around the top. Look totally weird on me.
Also most A-line skirts, and I am pretty skinny. They just look so odd on my legs.

Empire-waist tunics/dresses, but I think they look unflattering on most everybody. I also can't seem to wear white sneakers without looking like a huge dork.

JNCOS were my thing for a while the first couple years of college. I loved the shit out of those things. I still prefer wide leg jeans. I can either do slim and straight or wide leg trouser jeans but that's about it.

Sarahel I can't really see why an A-line dress would make anyone look pregnant. Do you mean empire waist? Those are pure evil.

I can't wear red lipstick because my lips are too big and I look like a clown. I also can't really wear heels higher than 2 inches because then I'm over 6 feet and can't walk at all.

xp - yeah, empire waist!!!

Oh yeah - they're rarely a good idea.

i am sort of opposed to the idea that items i could never wear exist, on principle, but those spaghetti strap long dresses that people wore over baby tees in the '90s looked horrible on me.

ginormous batwing shirts -- you make me look lost
i will never wear you

Yeah, I would like to be the kind of crazy art teacher lady who wears sculpturally draped tunics and geometric flowing things but they all give the impression I am swimming in shapeless mushy fabric. You need shoulders and height for those. RIP my dreams.

RIP

http://www.brownthomas.com/DesktopModules/Articles/MakeThumbnail.aspx?Image=/Portals/0/SarahPacini.gif&w=400

i only started even considering tunics. being short is a style hazard.

like, nice pajamas middle schooler is not the look i'm going for

Can you live in my brain? Wd appreciate yr commentary on all areas of life.

lolling at "nice pajamas middle schooler" still.

dudes, there are so many things i would never wear, so many...
and yet, here i am wanting, desiring, a pair of skin-tight black leather pants

or maybe just a pair of cheapo h&m faux-leather leggings

Wife beaters!

Aviators!

Wallet chain!

lol those three things are like a uniform for some people

shoes, men's shoes, with a buckle or buckles. ack!

I really don't think I could wear a baja

cosine the buckles on shoes. Horrible.

I think they look great with knickers.

ok that's really not an image i needed

In the English speaking world, in particular United Kingdom, Ireland, some Commonwealth countries, and occasionally in United States, knickers is a word that is used to describe women's and occasionally (but quite rarely) men's underpants and undergarments, women's lingerie, and for sports pants sportswear. In the United States it more commonly used as a short form for Knickerbockers, a type of golfing pants, also called Plus fours.

http://rochesterbargolf.com/images/knickers.jpg

http://www.buffalobreathcostumes.com/wolthuis.aspx?productid=930&size=medium

like i said

either way

meant women's panties, natch

how is it that I still have my notes from high school AP chem and all of my old genetics texts but did not save any of the many things I hung on my body? Not that it would much matter because I weighed like sub 120s because anorexia was also a 90s phase for me.

interesting cause it was in a restaurant and u dont want anyone to choke i guess thats classic 90s irony tho

hippie equivalent to goth choker was the huge fucking HEMP NECKLACE that was like an industrial rope around my neck. i wore one with beads in it that were the size of grapes

yeah those were terrible

I mean all of this was

lol i just saw that my dad commented on something one of the guys who used to work in our restaurant posted on FB so I followed some links and wound up on this daughter's page. She looks about 15ish and is totally wearing one of those tatoo chokers in her prof pic.

wow erica stalking sexi teens online not cool

!!!!!

erica stop bullying teens online too

dont catfish teens its mean

totally unrelated but her dad and his brother worked at our restaurant on the beach for years and they were awesome. my childhood nickname for them was the doo doo brothers. kids, man.

lol

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cool-guy-from-middle-school-still-sporting-phat-pa,34730/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus

^ photo is amazing for catching the stares of the woman and kid

lol @ this $72 saggy dog tee
http://www.revolveclothing.com/wildfox-couture-the-hound-tee-in-warm-cement/dp/WILD-WS723/

Link broke

whoops -- it's sized for a large husky man, looks like it was bought at a rural gas station in the 80s, dingy gray in color and festooned with a saggy jowled canine

and it's $72

this is a different model but same shirt
http://d1lrgj85cm58ww.cloudfront.net/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/840x1330/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/w/t/wtj57980c_bbry_1_1.jpg

http://is4.revolveclothing.com/images/p4/n/z/WILD-WS723_V2.jpg

Ew.

i'm surprised it doesn't come with pre-stained pits

Of all the things I don't want from my clothes, looking like a starving unloved child who is literally disappearing into a dirty rag is near the top of the list.

I get the appeal of baggy clothes that feel snuggly etc, I LIVE in 20-year-old tshirts at home. But they don't have the same studied effect of erasing me from sight or making me look small and insignificant.

For $70.

I was marching behind two very very small women yesterday and it was like, how do ppl treat you when you never get bigger than a small 12yo? I bet it's not super duper funtimes somehow.

V. Neck. Tees.
Hate them with a white hot intensity.

V necks are my very favorite, on tees and any other item of clothing (blouses, dresses, sweaters, etc.).

Alas, I am a woman with a nice rack, if I do say so myself. Deep v-necks on men are obv a thing now and I'm not so crazy about the look on dudes as on women.

i like vnecks on everyone
why to hate them with such an intensity?

i hate v-necks on men too. especially the super deep ones. ughhhhhhh

i am with LL, viva la v neck

On guys they look either The Gap Zombie or... eurotrash. They look great on girls.

They look good on anyone imo. Just cuz someone wears generic clothes doesn't mean they're a zombie! Lotsa interesting ppl come in plain packages.

#normcore

V necks are very "out" rn but I don't mind them nec

My biggest pet peeve rn is the septum piercing which I'm afraid to state publicly

Depends on the V - a deep one is very Red Carpet Now.

Eg. http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/82281-lupita-nyongo-wins-2015-sag-awards-red-carpet-in-elie-saab-gown-pics/1422238343_lupita-nyong-o-zoom-03.jpg

She could wear anything, on or out, and still look amazing.

Alas, I am a woman with a nice rack, if I do say so myself.

you are otm! I am v fond of v necks due to rackage + a short neck

otm

Maybe V-necks got American Apparel-ized and that's why everyone hates them? Not sure. They're my favorite bc I dislike being choked also I am short and welcome vertical lines.

^^^^

V necks are the most flattering for the larger boobed among us to wear for sure. I am medium of boob size and prefer either a deep scoop or V.

Overall though boatnecks are my favorite because I love how classic they are and because they help balance out my shoulder and hips.

this is the dumbest most pointless garment i have seen in a long time
i have no idea what its purpose is other than to make one's chest look like felix the cat
http://g.nordstromimage.com/ImageGallery/store/product/Large/19/_11971079.jpg

it was billed as a "bralette" which i thought was supposed to be a functional garment/a small bra

i loathe shopping

is that a fetish garment? like a slightly more demure spanking skirt for boobs?

Idk!! I found it in the everyday bra selection and was like o_O

Bras are kind of weird now, that's what I gathered