your most important local news story the world must know about

Man, everything in the world should be that cute. Holy shit.

http://www.thecomet.net/news/surprise_tits_for_letchworth_smokers_1_420114

surprise tits!!

amongst the best kind

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2010/0618/breaking44.html

bizarre murder cold case, or at least the facts ar laid out there seem strange. just decided to beat husband/future father in law to death for the hell of it, and went about it systematically and methodically.

ok

top this one, ilx

http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaulted-her-exgirlfriend-in-gay-pub-2231315.html

choice quote

The accused was escorted out and had to be asked to partially deflate her costume so she could get out the door.

really, clicking the link and reading the story would just ruin it tbh

The row developed as the victim tried to wave at a man dressed as a Snickers bar

Lol

Nobody posted this one?
http://www.thisisleicestershire.co.uk/news/Lord-Mayor-s-trousers-fall-children-s-event/article-2360982-detail/article.html

Tiger 'Hussein' Woods
http://i50.tinypic.com/160wwhv.jpg

http://www.herald-mail.com/?cmd=displaystory&story_id=249110&format=html

The wife called 911 while the husband got a snow shovel from behind the house and made sure the back sliding glass door was locked, according to records. Wagaman came to the back of the house and banged on the door, then walked to a dining room window and smashed it with her head, records show.

Mental health case, so apply the lol/sad ratio of your choosing here. Keep in mind that this was during the second blizzard of 2010.

Arrest after dog injured by firework - A man is jailed for alleged animal cruelty after his neighbor's dog was euthanized when a firework exploded in its mouth.

on same page:

Is whale facing orca attacks?

surreal shit to read all in one page when u are druuuuunk

the dog story :(((((((

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bs-md-cheech-chong-pot-20100723,0,143669.story

In a space usually reserved for defining arcane legal verse, Harrell took pains to describe Cheech & Chong, noting the popular series of movies that began with "Up in Smoke" in 1978 and "portrayed recreational drug use in non-threatening situations."

Greene countered with the more up-to-date South Park reference, penning that in the "immortal words of Mr. Mackey, 'Drugs are bad.'"

He used his footnote to put the quote into full context, and it's most likely the first time an opinion from the state's highest court has included the phrase, "It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, m'kay, that'd be bad."

Man Charged In Semen Attacks In Md. Stores

http://wjz.com/local/Man.charged.semen.2.1842083.html

"Oh, that's nasty. Oh, that's really not good. That's disgusting," said a resident.

a resident otm

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/juxtaposition.jpg

So I've been quoted in our local newspaper after I wrote to them to let them know they'd got the venue of one of the gigs I'm helping to run wrong.

http://www.thecomet.net/news/business/restrictions_and_licences_killing_music_scene_promoter_says_1_578007

Ended up in a short email conversation about why the mentioned venue had closed recently and I said I assumed it was to do with the recession, the smoking ban etc not making people want to come to gigs. Now he's quoted my email and put it on the second fucking page of the local paper underneath a story about local people being killed in Afghanistan or something.

I wouldn't be too annoyed, but not only did they bugger up my promotion and confuse my audience by getting the venue wrong, but now they've gone and had me slagging off the council and supporting smoking in one fell swoop, which isn't going to help me promote anything at all really.

http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/656302.the_trolley_found_far_from_its_shop/

Okay, that's great.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7q0gbklKR1qzyx8yo1_500.jpg
"CHIPPS AND DIPS!
America's Got Talent and Jersey's got Chipps Cooney!"

http://wjz.com/local/cumberland.stabbing.2.1857672.html

Twenty-five-year-old Jeremy Wigger

http://llnw.image.cbslocal.com/29/2008/07/31/320x240/stabbing.jpg

Forks, is that from the weird low-quality central jersey magazine with all the strip club ads?

i've never read it so not too sure on strip club ads. The cover caught my eye when I was getting sushi with the girl and i immediately thought of this thread.

http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/33/34/wb_drclawcuffed_2010_08_27_bk.html

Just read the first line of the news story and then click on dudes myspace:

http://www.hometownannapolis.com/news/for/2010/09/21-41/Man-gets-4-years-in-drug-fueled-assault.html
http://www.myspace.com/450862317

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/5/l_c30fbf11408b4afc9e7833ad3d0967e5.jpg

Judge orders man to climb local mountain

courtesy of nakchivan a couple days ago iirc, in the local papers today though.

Ha. In Mayo now, so friends have sent the bbc version a couple of times.

he's the right man is our seamus imo

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/crime/blog/2010/09/howard_county_cops_seek_preppy.html

armed bank robbery -- with hostages taken -- around the corner from my home in coral gables.

just ended, apparently (doesn't sound like anyone was hurt).

Hitler finally apologizes
http://nyti.ms/djbGMA

http://www.cbs8.com/Global/story.asp?S=13209288

Authorities say Denney was going to transfer the drugs by giving his 29-year-old son, who has the same first name, a mouth-to-mouth kiss during a visit.

"I felt so disgusted and would never imagine taking something out of my butt and putting it in my mouth in the first place, but to kiss my own child -- it wouldn't happen," neighbor Mike V. said.

Go Lakeside!

Oh yeah, didn't you live in Santee or something? Lakeside (Lindo Lakes, specifically) is where some guys (presumably Lakesidians) attempted to lure my sister into their van at a cross-country meet. In the middle of the race.

Yeeesh...I used to live in San Diego, but I dated a girl from Lakeside once. Briefly.

not local to me but a local news story

http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/las-vegas-hotel-pool-sunlight-swimming-tourists/story?id=11739234

http://www.exploreharford.com/news/6476/bleach-thrown-girls-faces-edgewood-students-charged/

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2010/1019/breaking17.html?via=mr

that happens in new jersey CONSTANTLY

That story was in the Metro this morning featuring this bizarre snippet

"The marsupial - easy to hire in Ireland - was let loose among more than 150 revellers..."

well, yeah?