your most important local news story the world must know about

http://honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080117/BREAKING/80117001/1314

http://www.nbc4.com/news/13859930/detail.html

http://www.nbc4.com/2007/0809/13859839.jpg

no wai

two more people on to the highway:

http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2008/Jan/30/br/br8597203164.html

i drove past the last one on the other side of the median u_u

This story has been removed

Australian PM says sorry to indigenous Australians. 98% of Australia rejoices, 2% are bigoted fucks.

ya really.
My co-worker's bf was in the office before and he showed me this sms that said something like "I'll say sorry when they say sorry for the 1 million cars they've stolen"

I bet the person who sent that has suffered no social prejudice or poverty.

like 50% of all cars and trucks in our metropolitan area are in some form of wreck right now I think

hooray ice. hooray me not owning a car

they were just showing sidewalk footage on the news of people slipping around all over the place downtown

there's a pileup on basically every exit ramp and every bridge leading in and out of the city

Most important story here:

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/1368/picture3gc7.png

lik my ballz

Seattle Police arrested a 35-year-old man for indecent exposure at Green Lake Park on Monday afternoon after a woman caught the man beating off in the bushes.

According to the police report, the woman hid behind a tree and called police while she watched the man masturbate. While on the phone, the woman told police she “thought that [the man] had some kind of flesh-colored realistic-looking phony penis strapped to his genitals.”

The woman also told police she recognized the man who, according a police report, had masturbated in front of the woman and her daughter near the Green Lake Community Center three days earlier.

Officers arrived and contacted the man, who produced a dildo from his pants told police that he only had it “to make it look like he did have a large real penis through his tight fitting pants.”

Police arrested the man and confiscated his dildo. The report says the man has a prior conviction for indecent exposure.

:]

Bill would rename D.C. streetWashington Business Journal - by Jonathan O'Connell Staff Reporter

View Larger
U2 famously sang about a place where the streets have no names.

The Irish rockers apparently don’t know how it works in D.C.

A bill before the D.C. Council would rename a portion of South Capitol Street SE as “Taxation Without Representation Street.” And you thought it was hard finding your way around when it was South Capitol. Try sticking “Taxation Without Representation Street” into Google Maps or your GPS.

It’s unclear what portion would be renamed. Our guess: The stretch near Nationals Park, ensuring plenty of out-of-towners are introduced to D.C.’s fight for a vote in Congress.

The defacto D.C. slogan is already on the city’s license plates. The city approved adding the slogan to the official city flag, though no new design has been introduced or approved. Officials tried — and failed, thanks to the feds — to have it imprinted on the District’s quarter.

Council members Kwame Brown, Carol Schwartz, Harry “Tommy” Thomas and Tommy Wells sponsored the bill, which was referred to the Committee of the Whole.

Seattle Police have arrested a man who allegedly robbed Capitol Hill's favorite dildo emporium, Babeland, last Thursday night.

Yesterday, police arrested Charmarke Abdi-Issa, 28, for investigation of robbery. Police believe Abdi-Issa has robbed seven small businesses and one cab driver since October 28th.

According to Babeland staff, Abdi-Issa came in to their store around 9pm on November 13th and told an employee he was looking for a Fleshlight. When an employee opened the cash register to ring him up, Abdi-Issa allegedly pulled a gun and told the staff member to go to the back of the store.

Babeland's Assistant Manager, Status Causey, says Abdi-Issa left with about $175 and the Fleshlight.

quite a pull

Ohio 'underwear researcher' admits molesting kids
Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:57 PM

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CINCINNATI -- An Ohio man has pleaded guilty to charges he fooled parents into letting him be alone with their children so he could sexually touch them while pretending to be an underwear market researcher.

Forty-four-year-old Ben Hawkins, of Springfield Township in suburban Cincinnati, could receive a maximum of 44 years in prison at his Jan. 29 sentencing.

Hamilton County prosecutors say Hawkins looked for boys and girls between the ages of 9 and 16. They say he arranged to meet parents and children at schools, hospitals or at their homes and told parents he needed to measure underwear for research.

Hawkins pleaded guilty yesterday to nine charges of importuning and three counts of gross sexual imposition.

???

there is this guy who rammed a petroleum delivery truck into the original local hell's angels motherbrain. he has no regrets at all , we are all baby panda baout him

http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520

Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

On Wednesday, Saint Mary's County Sheriffs released an update on their investigation. Detectives conducted an investigation which determined the injury was a result of a consensual act between two parties and no crime was committed.

.
Written by Bill Starks
9NEWS NOW & wusa9.com

Ow!

>:O

oh fuck

http://www.tool-net.co.uk/data/tools/sasagsa900e.jpg

Chemistry TA fired

Melissa Stredney allegedly gave undeserved grades, encouraged students to cheat
Gina Ferrentino
Issue date: 3/12/09 Section: Campus

LAKELAND. Fla. — It’s a practiced art among most middle-school boys: passing gas and blaming it on someone nearby.

It has been going on for years, maybe decades — heck, maybe since the dawn of mankind. It’s always, well, usually funny. But beware of laughing out loud at farts. It could land you and your sense of humor in the toilet.

Just ask Jonathan Locke Jr., a Polk County eighth-grader who got blamed for farting on a school bus this week and ended up being banned from the bus for three days. It wasn’t the farting that resulted in his ouster; it was the disruption that followed, school officials said.

“I guess it was just because I was laughing so hard,” he said Thursday. “I don’t know.”

The 15-year-old attends the Bill Duncan Excel Center, an alternative school in Lakeland. Jonathan denied making the sound on the bus Monday. He said a friend was making fart sounds with his mouth.

That cracked him up, he said. Then came a rank odor, which made the situation hysterical, he said. “I just thought it was funny.”

A day later, when Jonathan walked on the bus to go home, he was handed a note telling him he had been barred from the bus for three days.

“Jonathan passes gas on the bus to make the other children laugh and it is so stink that you can’t breathe after he does it,” the bus driver wrote in a disciplinary note levying the three-day suspension.

Jonathan’s father, Jonathan Locke Sr., said the school went a bit too far in the flatulence fracas. He said the ordeal has disrupted his son’s education.

“I don’t know how they can do it, but apparently they can,” Locke Sr. said. “They say it’s disrupting the bus and they can do whatever they want to if it comes to disrupting the children on the bus.”

Polk County School District officials either declined to talk about the matter or didn’t respond to messages Thursday.

oh oops i didn't notice that is not a local news story but i found it from local news site sry :(
that makes it even better though like why am i supposed to care about some kid in florida farting on the bus, but i do care i really do

we are all jonathan locke jr

http://www.malaspina.com/jpg/locke.jpg

http://✧✧✧.w✧✧✧.com/video/?id=57✧✧✧@w✧✧✧.dayp✧✧✧.c✧✧

wtf

this is a link, click it

ha ok well the parser is saying it wasn't funny i guess

Dogs Helping Children Learn To Read

http://wbns.com/wwwexportcontent/sites/10tv/local/stories/2009/04/06/images/dog03.jpg

Prof called me a 'gay leprechaun'

Nasty bickering between William Meezan, dean of the College of Social Work, and professor Rudolph Alexander has been going on for four years, and there's no end in sight. Meezan alleged in a May 2008 deposition that Alexander referred to him as a "gay leprechaun" to one of his classes and falsely accused him of having AIDS.

The community Easter Party Saturday afternoon at Douglass Park was interrupted by a gun scare. No one was injured, and no arrests were made.

At about 5:10 p.m., an announcement was made warning partygoers that someone in the park was carrying a gun. Families were advised to find their children and leave the park immediately.

Columbia Police Department Sgt. Dan Beckman said officers were called to an incident near the basketball courts at the park. When they arrived, Beckman said, the disturbance had apparently ended.

About a half hour later, Margaret Hickem, one of the event's organizers, said an incident involving 10 men had occurred in the park some distance away from the celebration.

i was at the park playing bball

City police seize dozens of tiny turtles from vendors

Two men arrested for selling animals as pets

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25858290-3102,00.html

<3

http://www.goldcoast.com.au/article/2009/07/31/103455_gold-coast-top-story.html

http://wbal.com/apps/news/templates/story.aspx?articleid=33918&zoneid=24&utm_source=rss

http://www.phinneywood.com/2009/09/01/cougar-sighted-in-magnolia-and-possibly-greenwood/

Police: 'Chunky' escorts rip off intoxicated men

Mountlake Terrace police are on the lookout for a trio of escorts who are alleged to have stolen about $440 from four customers who had invited them over for a weekend party. The cops have their work cut out for them since they're relying on four victims who were "incredibly" intoxicated and provided only the barest of descriptions.

The suspects were all described as being about 5-feet-8, white and "chunky," in their late 20s, possibly from Tacoma.

While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4."

Man shocked with 100,000 volts of electricity after chasing rabbit into power station, police say.

A man who was listed as a missing person in Greenville County walked into the emergency room of Greer Memorial Hospital naked and covered with electrical burns on 90 percent of his body, authorities said.
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The man said he chased a rabbit into a power station and suffered several electrical shocks, according to a Greer Police incident report.

http://www.wyff4.com/news/21251063/detail.html

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/19/u.s.espionage.charge.israel/

so Gorilla-gate has ended, the show did indeed go on with a rabbit. people were pissed but it's over. since that time, the following has happened at this festival...

...one of my friends, who is probably in his 70s, and actually sponsored one of the venues for years, fell during a show he was watching and broke his leg last night.

...one of the most seasoned out of town performers, who is infamous for G0d is a Scottish Drag Queen, which he does every year, promptly cancelled all of his remaining performances because he's pissed at the venue over something. one of my other friends took to social media to say "God is a diva!"

...another friend of mine was once married to one of the performers at the festival this year and then went through a brutal divorce w/ her, who decided to put on a musical cabaret where she basically shits on him frequently (without naming him) throughout the show. and two of his friends are in the show.

god theatre people never skimp on the drama.

just to be clear i will never go to haddington

Neando, no offense to you and perhaps some of your pals, but theatre people are the reason I stopped acting. I was good at it and enjoyed it, but the constant drama made me just loathe the experience

No I feel the same way trust me lol

Like it's the main reason I cut back on doing it

Ha, what next? Gonna stop working at the hospital because of all the sickos?

big youthful vandal energy around these parts lately among a certain age demographic

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/azusa-serial-slingshot-shooter-vandalism-arrest/3422679/

An 81-year-old man described by authorities as a "serial slingshot shooter" and accused of victimizing neighbors in Azusa for years was arrested last week in the San Gabriel Valley community.

Police responded Thursday to the 900 block of North Enid Avenue for a "quality of life issue." Neighbors told officers a man armed with a slingshot and ball bearings had been breaking windows and car windshields over the past nine to 10 years.

In some cases, people were nearly struck with ball bearings, police said.

Officers served a search warrant in the neighborhood where the crimes were reported and arrested an 81-year-old man. During the search, ball bearings and a slingshot were found at the suspect's home, police said.

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/pasadena-explosions-arrest/3417425/

A man has been arrested in connection with more than 150 mysterious explosions that baffled people in a Pasadena neighborhood for about two years.

Police, who shared video of one of the explosions with NBCLA, announced the arrest this week of a 63-year-old man in the case.

Some of the loud blasts near Allen Avenue and Washington Boulevard were reported by residents. Most were captured by ShotSpotter technology, commonly used by law enforcement departments to identify and locate the source of gunfire.

Kamaron Harris, who lives in the neighborhood, was one of the resident who noticed the loud sounds every few weeks late at night.

"It was always one big pop," Harris said. "Late at night I would hear loud pops. A single firework explosion. Sometimes, I would even see a flash outside my window."

The ShotSpotter system helped investigators track the sounds, police said.

"At times, we were getting numerous hits on the fireworks," said Lt. Monica Cuellar. "Based on that information the arson investigator was able to put together an investigation."

There were 14 explosions in the area during the last two weeks. Investigators identified two vehicles connected to the explosions and tracked down the registered owner, a Pasadena man.

On May 16, officers in the area heard an explosion and saw a white cloud rising from the neighborhood. Officers saw the man's 2013 BMW in the area of the explosion and took him into custody at the scene.

https://www.vrt.be/vrtnws/en/2024/07/04/large-quantities-of-seized-drugs-tobacco-and-cigarettes-stolen/

https://www.vrt.be/vrtnws/en/2024/07/09/new-ghent-motorway-bridge-too-narrow-trucks-and-cars-get-stuck/

Good work Stan, I feel like otherwise Americans would dominate this thread.

Little Belgium is doing all it can

crossbar needs to be higher - worker's solution: pitch is now unplayable.

https://www.vrt.be/vrtnws/nl/2024/09/02/gemeentearbeiders-graven-grond-op-voetbalveld-weg-omdat-doelen-t/

https://www.latintimes.com/runaway-pet-goat-wins-medal-after-crashing-marathon-560766

German speed camera catches speeding suspect:

Ja klar … es ist total witzig, sich eine Krümelmonster-Maske über den Kopf zu ziehen, damit über die A45 zu fahren und dabei blitzen zu lassen. ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/M7ubchV43b

— Polizei NRW DO (@polizei_nrw_do) October 8, 2024

Hessen, Germany: recently opened fancy fire station that didn't have a fire alarm burns down, millions in damages

https://www.spiegel.de/panorama/stadtallendorf-brand-in-neuer-feuerwehrstation-rund-20-millionen-euro-schaden-a-2645338b-c76a-4325-9b4c-f3dbf6fcecdd

A fish enthusiast from East Dunbartonshire has described the death of his prized Japanese koi carp collection as a "massacre".

Steven Smith from Milngavie, who has reared the prized fish for almost 40 years, believes otters were responsible for the destruction of the creatures, worth about £10,000.

Mr Smith found the koi, some of them beheaded and others with their tails bitten off, scattered around his garden at the weekend.

He told BBC Radio Scotland's Drivetime programme that he is devastated.

The 75-year-old’s wife, Yvonne, discovered the dead fish beside the pond in the couple’s back garden on her way to work.

She then alerted her husband, who said the scene was "horrendous".

He said: "The first thing I saw was what I thought was a bunch of leaves. When I got closer it turned out to be one of the koi.

"As I stepped over the wall I noticed there were a couple to the left, more to the right, and when I looked in the pond there was no movement at all."

He said the scene got worse the further he walked.

"I took a walk around the pond and almost every fish that I had was lying there headless, fins ripped off them, faces ripped off them," he said. "It was just a massacre as far as I was concerned."

At first Mr Smith thought it had been an attack from a heron.

But after posting his discovery on social media, friends said it could have been otters or mink.

"As far as I believe," he said, "it was otters."

Mr Smith said he lost his entire collection of 25 fish - 13 carcasses were scattered beside his ornamental pond that he built himself, 12 others were missing.

The former roofer estimates he has spent around £10,000 over the years building up his hobby, and more on creating the perfect environment for them.

He said he cherished the fish as pets.

"I am totally heartbroken," he said. "People have dogs, they have cats, but I have fish. I could interact with my fish.

"I would hand-feed them. The biggest one, he would feel the vibrations of me coming over, then the rest would come over. It was like feeding a baby.

"His name was Baby Jaws - he was a metre long and I have had him for 35 years."

East Dunbartonshire Council said they knew of only one other case in recent years where a koi owner in Bearsden believed their fish had been targeted by otters.

Otters are protected under law and the local authority advise a number of measures to help protect koi ponds from predation by the species like electric and mesh fencing.

Grace Yokon, who is director of the International Otter Survival Fund, believes either otter or mink could be responsible as “both will tackle fish.”

She said: “It’s important that anyone [who] has ponds with koi carp or any other fish in, that they understand that basically what they’ve got is a feeding table.

“If you leave a table out with sandwiches and nice cakes on it, and come back, they are not going to be there - and anyone who has these ponds has got to protect them.”

Otters have been spotted in recent years in the River Kelvin in the west end of Glasgow with some also being sighted further north where the river meets the Allander Water.

Experts from the International Otter Survival Fund believe it is possible otters could have travelled to near Mr Smith’s home which is close to the Allander Water in Milngavie as their territory is up to 40km (25 miles).

Mr Smith, who describes sitting by his pond watching his koi fish as his “happy place”, told the BBC he was torn about what to do now as he is fearful if he gets more koi the otters will return.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Agih0mGuScg/sddefault.jpg

look how they massacred my koi

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/teddy-bears-shipping-container-montreal-1.7392854

Container full of teddy bears washes up on Montreal-area riverbank

Teddy bears pose no risk to the environment, spokesperson says

...

"No hazardous materials are involved. The container contains teddy bears."

It is unclear, exactly, how the container found its way into the water, Larouche said.

The abandoned Milwaukee boat:

https://milwaukeerecord.com/city-life/yep-still-there/

https://milwaukeerecord.com/city-life/boat-still-there-now-moved-a-little/

https://milwaukeerecord.com/city-life/questions-and-answers-about-the-milwaukee-boat/

One of our local tv stations is owned by the Allen Media Group, Byron Allen's media conglomerate, which also happens to own the Weather Channel. Yesterday they announced that they would be getting rid of the station's four-person meteorology team and local residents are losing every bit of their minds. The chief meteorologist's first week on the job happened to coincide with a devastating 2011 tornado that destroyed most of a small town just north of us. He's a very good weatherman, good explainer, calm but firm when scary weather hits, gets a lot of credit for saving lives, and a bit of a local cult of personality has grown up around him and his family (his wife is one of the station's news anchors), all extremely Xtian. Anyway, a lot of local comfy white people are freaking the fuck out because the free market came for their darling boy. Even my wife is upset about it, and I'm walking softly instead of pointing out she gets most of her weather news from the "Ryan Hall, Y'all" youtube channel now.

https://www.kwtx.com/2025/03/28/its-lot-pee-man-has-no-idea-who-is-putting-gallons-urine-his-recycling-bin-or-why/

Reward offered to catch Guildford graffiti vandal

Arrest made after graffiti 'surge' in two towns

https://eugeneweekly.com/2025/05/07/former-eugene-weekly-business-manager-charged-in-newspapers-embezzlement/

so great

https://medium.com/@lewiscountyknews/chehalis-tribe-buys-billboard-plans-to-replace-messages-with-accurate-u-s-history-5fec3c59084b

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire.

just figured that out and blocked them on FB, thank you, carry on

the fact remains that the property is still for sale, which delights everyone in the area

Uncle Sam billboard off I-5 near Chehalis bought by local tribe

The highly contentious Uncle Sam billboard off Interstate 5 in Lewis County has a new owner: the Confederated Tribes of the Chehalis Reservation.

And yes, the tribe intends to take down the right-wing messages that have lingered on the 40-foot-by-13-foot sign for years.

lol I just found that too, thanks again. fabulous news!