And God spake all these words, saying...

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/6723/commandmentsux1.png

I. Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
II. Every time you kill God, a kitten masturbates.
III. Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.
IV. Every time you kill yourself, God masturbates a kitten.
V. Every time you masturbate a kitten, God kills Himself.
VI. Every time you masturbate God, a kitten kills itself.
VII. Every time you and God kill each other, a kitten masturbates twice.
VIII. Every time you and a kitten masturbate each other, God kills you both.
IX. Every time you kill a masturbating kitten, God [???????]
X. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.