The IRE Top 100 Reasons Why Australia Sucks, "Mate"

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100. No rum in the rum rebellion? wtf guys

jergins, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

99. Danny Deckchair

jergins, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

98. Estela's married

jergins, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

97. Phil Paterson

gr8080, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 23:56 (eighteen years ago)

96. Southern Cross tattoos.

Par example

W4LTER, Thursday, 24 January 2008 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

95. the dingo ate my baby

tehresa, Thursday, 24 January 2008 01:03 (eighteen years ago)

94. No free refills.

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 24 January 2008 03:56 (eighteen years ago)

93. the whole concept of "walkabouts" somehow translates to 8 douchebags in a london pub accosting you about their travels.

▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Thursday, 24 January 2008 04:21 (eighteen years ago)

92. oh shit, now that i think about it there are australian pubs called Walkabout. but that sort of self-segregation is a good tihng.

▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Thursday, 24 January 2008 04:21 (eighteen years ago)

The only Australian I've ever heard genuinely use the term "walkabout" was an Aboriginal friend of mine.

W4LTER, Thursday, 24 January 2008 04:26 (eighteen years ago)

Also I think simply "Australians in London" should be a reason.

W4LTER, Thursday, 24 January 2008 04:28 (eighteen years ago)

93. violent drunks

Embarchie, Thursday, 24 January 2008 04:36 (eighteen years ago)

90. buttez died

(also wtf embarchie who got that? i had never registered it here. also .de?)

jergins, Thursday, 24 January 2008 05:04 (eighteen years ago)

89. hookers in king's cross are 90% trannies

jelky, Thursday, 24 January 2008 09:48 (eighteen years ago)

88.when you throw up on the train in australia it doesn't just go down, it plugs up the sink, inconveniencing all, and smelling so so bad, 13 hours from sydney to brisbane

jergïns, Thursday, 24 January 2008 09:50 (eighteen years ago)

87. all the sheepish but angry looks from fellow ausrail passnegers

captain AUS, Thursday, 24 January 2008 09:50 (eighteen years ago)

unrivaled pedantry

17. australian party boy

-- jergïns, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 9:14 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

um yes, the Australian one, not the Congolese one.

-- Autumn Almanacp

jergins, Thursday, 24 January 2008 09:54 (eighteen years ago)

^86.

jergïns, Thursday, 24 January 2008 09:54 (eighteen years ago)

85. towel socks

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:01 (eighteen years ago)

i've never heard of towel socks

W4LTER, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:11 (eighteen years ago)

84. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mvm6KfJDE0

gr8080, Thursday, 24 January 2008 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

83. All a bunch of racists

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 24 January 2008 22:15 (eighteen years ago)

82. lime green sports fans

estela, Thursday, 24 January 2008 22:32 (eighteen years ago)

81. descended from criminals amirite

gr8080, Thursday, 24 January 2008 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

80. vegemite

79. koalas are mean

tehresa, Thursday, 24 January 2008 23:32 (eighteen years ago)

78. silverchair

gr8080, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

<3 vegemite

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

walter otm

estela, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

Is 83 meant to be ironic?

77. steve irwin
76. 11.5 years of conservative cockhead rule
75. more than half the country kept said cockhead in power for 11.5 years
74. sunburn
73. caroline springs

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 01:22 (eighteen years ago)

72. BINDI IRWIN OH MY GOD

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

i was just going to add little bindi to the list.

estela, Friday, 25 January 2008 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

What's so great about tim tams anyway? They're just chocofuckinglate biscuits.

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 03:55 (eighteen years ago)

my car was stripped and torched in caroline springs

71 all newish local bands anyone has actually heard of are guaranteed to suck

electricsound, Friday, 25 January 2008 05:54 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.exclaim.ca/images/up-operator_please_lrg.jpg
70. ^^^^^^^^^These little arseholes.

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 05:58 (eighteen years ago)

^^^^^^^^^^^

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 06:11 (eighteen years ago)

69. LEE KERNAGHAN AUSTRALIAN OF THE YEAR

NO WAY I'M SERIOUS THIS IS FUCKED

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 09:06 (eighteen years ago)

BIG DICKHEAD TRYING-TOO-HARD-TO-BE-AMERICAN ARSE FACED WANKER GETS TOP HONOUR IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY! HOW DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 09:09 (eighteen years ago)

lol! I just went on a big tirade about this horseshit. WAS THERE NO ONE BETTER FFS.

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 09:19 (eighteen years ago)

how does one try too hard to be american?

gr8080, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:25 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLf-avPzAkY&feature=related

estela, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:38 (eighteen years ago)

oui, l'accent.

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:39 (eighteen years ago)

he is a national disgrace.

estela, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

his sister is too.

estela, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

Why? (besides the whole country thing)

Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

lolol

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

eight months pass...

68. one in 10 are racist

an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 08:31 (seventeen years ago)

The other 90% are dirty foreigners.

2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 08:45 (seventeen years ago)

The biggest racist shits Ive encountered are people barely moved here themselves, first/second gen assholes from somewhere else telling off somalians and indian taxi drivers for "not being from here like us" when they're fucking britishers or italians or wtf ever. Idiots.

Trayce, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 09:34 (seventeen years ago)

67. bad spelling
66. Top Gear Australia

2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 09:35 (seventeen years ago)

oh god 66 totes otm

For technical assistance, please contact our Support Team (electricsound), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 09:37 (seventeen years ago)

65. 90% of local television

For technical assistance, please contact our Support Team (electricsound), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 09:38 (seventeen years ago)

64. dumb fucked up seasons all reversed wtf

Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 11:58 (seventeen years ago)

64. dumb fucked up seasons all reversed wtf

― Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 21:58 (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 11:59 (seventeen years ago)

63. english & irish backpackers

jabba hands, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:17 (seventeen years ago)

62. inthemix.com.au forums

jabba hands, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:18 (seventeen years ago)

61. that bloke who punched me in alice springs

jabba hands, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:18 (seventeen years ago)

60. the newspapers

caek, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:19 (seventeen years ago)

59. Quorn unavailable

caek, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:20 (seventeen years ago)

those were pretty much my only complaints. I loved the rest of it.

caek, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:20 (seventeen years ago)

64. Rupert Murdoch
58. Naomi Robson
57. Anna Coren

2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:24 (seventeen years ago)

australia sucks because it tries to be like america with more surfers and and digeridoos

lil yawne (harbl), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:35 (seventeen years ago)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:41 (seventeen years ago)

In fact I'm officially nominating that for numbers 56 to 1.

2. Atheists incorrectly believe that they are not a religion. (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 12:41 (seventeen years ago)

ok but can someone fix the spelling of didgeridoo :(

lil yawne (harbl), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 13:09 (seventeen years ago)

55. bad lighting for candid photography

Bright Future (sunny successor), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 13:20 (seventeen years ago)

OTM! Too fucking bright, shadows too harsh. People wonder why I only shoot indoors.

No marigolds in the promised land (Kate.), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 20:11 (seventeen years ago)

inthemix.com.au forums

haha otm except i got a few great disco tips from there

jeepski (jergins), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

Yes that Top Gear the other night was total bullshit. they obviously tried to get carbon copies of the English dudes. Did not work at all.

an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 22:07 (seventeen years ago)

http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/05/Top-Gear-Australia-Cast.jpg

^^they are v buttfaced too.

an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 22:08 (seventeen years ago)

76. 11.5 years of conservative cockhead rule
75. more than half the country kept said cockhead in power for 11.5 years
...

― Autumn Almanac, Friday, 25 January 2008 01:22 (8 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

54. Conservative cockhead (not the same one at least) still rules.

milling through the grinder, grinding through the mill (S-), Wednesday, 1 October 2008 01:51 (seventeen years ago)

I always wondered "what if they made Top Gear but instead of Jeremy Clarkson they had someone just as hateful but totally bland with an even more annoying Richard Hammond and a charmless James May and they all were totally awkward with each other and they did lame arse Holden vs Ford segments??" -- thankfully, I don't have to wonder no more.

its cool bro i'm a rugby league player (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 12 October 2008 10:45 (seventeen years ago)

(And instead of actual people you've heard of, they had C-list Australian "celebrities".)

its cool bro i'm a rugby league player (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 12 October 2008 10:47 (seventeen years ago)

eleven months pass...

new answers jergesol

velko, Friday, 9 October 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

53. http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/12/11/WolfmotherAndrewStockdaleJe_061211121925950_wideweb__300x417.jpg

¯ ϖ ¯ (Dr. Phil), Friday, 9 October 2009 23:21 (sixteen years ago)

otm

sound of contusion (electricsound), Saturday, 10 October 2009 01:16 (sixteen years ago)

real talk

N-N-Nineteen Not Out (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 10 October 2009 01:32 (sixteen years ago)

A man so beloved that his record label happily put out a press release announcing that the rest of his band quit because they couldn't bear to be alone in a room with him

Dandy Don Draper (sic), Saturday, 10 October 2009 02:03 (sixteen years ago)

61. that bloke who punched me in alice springs

― jabba hands, Tuesday, September 30, 2008 10:18 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

how could anyone punch jabba hands.

estela, Saturday, 10 October 2009 03:22 (sixteen years ago)

i know right? he wasn't a nice man.

jabba hands, Saturday, 10 October 2009 05:11 (sixteen years ago)

can someone plz explain this trying to be american thing - i mean all countries do that - what sets australia apart in this department

ice cr?m, Saturday, 10 October 2009 05:22 (sixteen years ago)

maybe it was an opposites attack kind of thing, he took umbrage at your topnotchness. xp

estela, Saturday, 10 October 2009 05:37 (sixteen years ago)

who is no 53?

thomp, Saturday, 10 October 2009 08:27 (sixteen years ago)

also i love the first paragraph of that racism article: "40 per cent of australians believe certain ethnic groups have no business in australia. also, one in ten australians are racist" er

thomp, Saturday, 10 October 2009 08:28 (sixteen years ago)

53 is wolfmother's andrew stockdale, as you may see in the url

sound of contusion (electricsound), Saturday, 10 October 2009 08:30 (sixteen years ago)

who is worse, wolfmother or jet?

jet still tour in germany, btw.

caek, Saturday, 10 October 2009 08:45 (sixteen years ago)

it's like comparing whether eating cat shit or dog shit is worse tbh

sound of contusion (electricsound), Saturday, 10 October 2009 08:47 (sixteen years ago)

haha

¯ ϖ ¯ (Dr. Phil), Saturday, 10 October 2009 19:15 (sixteen years ago)

gonna go ahead and make this 52

52. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmaF7Pys7OI

¯ ϖ ¯ (Dr. Phil), Saturday, 10 October 2009 19:16 (sixteen years ago)

UPDATE: Due to angry messaging, I thought I'd clarify my position on this video. I'm an Australian; I don't think it was racist; before HCJ opened his mouth, I've never heard of "blackface", and I didn't even see "race" in the act, all I saw was a bunch of amateur performers dressing up as the Jackson 5 and parodying them without prejudice or intended malice.

¯ ϖ ¯ (Dr. Phil), Saturday, 10 October 2009 19:17 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

51. "er indoors" is the most annoying phrase ever

gr8080, Thursday, 30 December 2010 22:01 (fifteen years ago)

never even heard of that but it is annoying yes

yuoowemeone, Thursday, 30 December 2010 22:16 (fifteen years ago)

fyi if u dont stop using the phrase "er indoors" i will fly to ur indoors and kill er, and u

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, January 16, 2009 8:02 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

estela, Thursday, 30 December 2010 22:38 (fifteen years ago)

hahaha

got a bad habit I might OD of markers (crüt), Thursday, 30 December 2010 22:45 (fifteen years ago)

at least an an annoying phrase like "the ol' ball & chain" makes sense

gr8080, Thursday, 30 December 2010 22:50 (fifteen years ago)


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