I am Depressed

Dr. Phil,
I am 21 years old and i have not had a good life at all. My childhood was really bad and now my adult years are getting bad too. I have no confidence in myself, and i feel very stupid. My biggest problem these days is that i have been seeing a guy now for 3 years and now this guy doesn't even really want to assoicate with me anymore. See 3 years ago i met him at work and we started seeing each other right way things where great, we spent all the time in the world together and did everything there was to do that two new people in a relationship could do, but a month later things started to go down hill. We did do as many things together as we did in the beginning and i started to get upset. He was still there for me and we spent time when we could. Then i moved out on my own and started to have trouble paying things and taking care of responsiblity, so he helped and he paid my bill and did whatever he could for me. Then i messed up everything, i lost my job and for a while was to lazy to get out there and find another one, so he did everyhting, then he would push me and i would find another job and things would be back up again. Then i would mess things up again. For the last 3 years i messed things up and he would fix them and then i would mess them up again and now he is at the point where he doesnt want to do it anymore. He says that i have put him into so much debt and that he doesnt believe that i want things good in my life. The thing is i do, i am just still trying to learn how to do things because i was never taught anything, and i need more time to figure things out. But he want to leave and leave me alone, and i dont know what to do. I love this man more then anything, and i feel like i am dying without him and i know that i can do the things i need to do to make things good again but i feel like there is no point in trying if he is not there. please help me because i am lost in myself and dont knw what to do.