Your Terrible Band Concept Stockpile

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OK, I had this idea for a conceptual tour a while back. Each night, the band would write a song onstage. We'd start off with no ideas, spend the hour or so of the set jamming, trying things out etc. Then, by the end of the set we'd have a complete song ready to play for the encore. Maybe a 10 or 12 date tour, so by the end of it there'd be an album ready. The idea was to demystify the creative process or some such bullshit. All the encores could be recorded for release. THEN we could go out on another tour, playing the same venues, performing the completed album every night. The catch is you'd have to have some kind of fanbase to start with, preferably a very PATIENT fanbase at that. Like maybe John Zorn.

Matt #2 (Matt #2), Sunday, 13 November 2005 11:24 (nineteen years ago) link

i'm trying to think through the practical issues with STEED because i personally think as an idea it's got legs - four obv.

nabisco you could contruct the papier mache heads so that although the combined equine mass look as though they're staring down the audience, infact the muso's chins are down on their chests shoegazer style. that way they could see their frets/pedals and everything would be good...

john clarkson, Sunday, 13 November 2005 12:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Caroliner seem to manage it, although admittedly they're not playing tech-metal :

http://www.timestereo.com/art/caroliner.jpg

Matt #2 (Matt #2), Sunday, 13 November 2005 13:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Wow, they look great. who are they?

(also: GWAR.)

Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 13 November 2005 14:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Caroliner : http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/Paradise/1366/page_caroliner1.html

I'm sure I've got loads more terrible band ideas tucked away in the recesses of my mind. I'll let you all know when they work their way to the surface!

Matt #2 (Matt #2), Sunday, 13 November 2005 17:41 (nineteen years ago) link

terrible, but also awesome: NUGE AS THE NEWS

catpower covers in the style of ted nugent or nugent in the style of catpower. cant really find any friends who want to travel down this particular avenue, so ive just started using the name anytime i play in public. all the good names are gone, so i might was go for the stupid or humorous.

maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Sunday, 13 November 2005 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link

My friend wanted to rap nothing but news stories verbatim and call it Walter Crunkite.

Its morph 'em to pun cute (Matt Chesnut), Sunday, 13 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Robotic Drum + Guitar Idea: I actually saw something like this on PBS! I have no idea who did this thing, but it was kinda incredible -- long films of complex compositions played by various landscapes of either robots or Rube Goldberg contraptions. The guitar robot was pretty cool, but what really got me were these incredible marimbas: one was a circle of the actual bars with a fountain in the center, which spewed up rubber balls that arced through the air and then struck the appropriate notes. Another had the appropriate notes of a melody revolving around on a conveyor belt, and then a ramp above, down which rubber balls slid at intervals, dropping off and striking the right notes. This composition was really busy and up-tempo, too, so at certain points there were, you know, more balls flying around than New Year's Eve at a frathouse. Umm. Yeah. I would totally have considered ordering the video.

nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 13 November 2005 21:15 (nineteen years ago) link

(Oh and the guitar robot worked in a very human way, which was interesting to me -- I get the feeling there isn't a more "efficient" way to use guitar than the articulated-human-finger method! The pick was held by a clamp thing that moved in exact human fashion, and the fingering was done by a disembodied robotic hand, which moved on its joints just like a real hand would. Except faster and more precise.)

nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 13 November 2005 21:18 (nineteen years ago) link

That robot band sounds amazing!
My latest "idea" was a black metal band where the onus is on the vocals and lyrics, and verses would be swapped between different singers a la Gravediggaz or whatever. I guess if everyone was just grunting or howling it'd be a bit pointless though.

Matt #2 (Matt #2), Monday, 14 November 2005 00:32 (nineteen years ago) link

At one point I had an idea for a Stomp-meets-The Road Warrior-style musical in which a nomadic, post-apocalyptic tribe of musicians attempt to recreate the sounds of contemporary music (including Neptunes-style hip-hop) using only vocals and junkyard percussion (and maybe a battered acoustic guitar). It was a bit too Blue Man Group for anyone to really take seriously.

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Monday, 14 November 2005 00:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Those rubber ball marimbas sound incredible!

The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Monday, 14 November 2005 12:52 (nineteen years ago) link

That drum machine idea also sounds like the "music boxes" at House on the Rock in Wisconsin, except that I think some aspects of the music boxes are fake (ie, prerecorded). It's hard to tell though.

http://static.flickr.com/17/22577590_5a3df33ada.jpg
http://static.flickr.com/19/22580682_21c4ce14d7.jpg

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 14 November 2005 15:24 (nineteen years ago) link

you guys ever see captured by robots? (there's a ! in the name somewhere) it's exactly what yr talking about. as in, a lot of robots. playing real instruments, though i think the rhythm guitar was tuned to a power chord, cos there were little pneumatic bars that went across on every fret. i think the guy (who dressed up as the slave of the robots, heh) had some ancient midi rig that he wired up to control them all. too bad the songs weren't better but it quiiiite a show.

geoff (gcannon), Monday, 14 November 2005 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Also: Octant.

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 14 November 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago) link

My musical life is littered with the debris of band failings with structural faults.

After going through two years of trying to find people to put together a band, I rehearsed for six months with me singing and playing bass with a guitarist having everything else sequenced on a Roland XP80. The guitarist ended up bailing, so I don't know what it would have ended up like live, but I don't think it would have ended up working.

I had an electronic group with two other guys using sequences and then playing off the top. Getting the other two guys to actually practice on tunes working towards a set of material proved impossible. At the time, there was not that many opportunities to pull this kind of thing off live in a club or anything anyway.

It never happend more than a couple of jam sessions, but I always wanted to put together a heavy guitar band with two drummers. Get two full kits in a room with two players that have enough trouble keeping time on their own and you get a huge amount of racket with a hard time finding the one.

Appearantly wanting to start an instrumental rock band is just the oddest idea in the book from some of the responses to ads I have placed looking for players. "What you don't want no singin'?"

earlnash, Monday, 14 November 2005 17:24 (nineteen years ago) link

My newest pipe dream is all about REPETITION. Like The Fall, but more so. I see a band with maybe like three guitarists, two sax players, a bass player, and two drummers. Every song is just ONE RIFF, repeated over and over again. Each band member plays a part of the riff, and has to play the same thing through the whole song. The differences come from who is playing and how loudly they are playing at any given moment. I actually want to do this.

This is an awesome idea -- I would join this band in a second.

I had a similar idea for a Spacemen 3-type drone outfit with five guitarists, two drummers, and an organist.

MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 14 November 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I've seen that rubber ball marimba thing. It's a 3D animation, not an actual machine.

walter kranz (walterkranz), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, Captured by Robots -- also Servotron, wasn't that basically the same idea?

Walter: the one I saw was real! I believe there were also PBS pledge-drive interviews surrounding it that verified as much. Beyond which I was sober and paying attention and it was real for real.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Servotron weren't captured by robots, they WERE robots.

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I always wanted to have a band called The Abdicators who, a song and a half into their set, would suddenly rush out into the audience, grab random people, stick their instruments in the random people's hands, yell "We're not the Abdicators any more! You're the Abdicators now! Get up there and play!," and then run out of the building.

Douglas (Douglas), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 03:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Walter: the one I saw was real!

This is what I was thinking of but if somebody made a real life verions of it I'd love to see it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animusic

walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 06:01 (nineteen years ago) link

verions? wtf?

walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 06:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha, shit, Walter, I might actually be an idiot: the "Pipe Dream" one pictured there is pretty much like the one I remember. Except that, umm, that looks really obviously 3D animated, whereas the thing I saw, umm, really didn't! (And I can tell, and all -- I mean, half of my friends in Chicago were animators, I usually know how it works!) I dunno, maybe they later re-modeled or re-rendered it at much higher quality. And my TV reception can be pretty shitty sometimes, so that might have had something to do with it. But, umm, yeah, that kinda does seem to be, umm, it.

nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 07:24 (nineteen years ago) link

I seriously thought someone had bothered building all that shit. This is worse than when "Santa" brought presents I'd seen my mom hiding in the laundry room the week before.

nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 07:26 (nineteen years ago) link

(And now I'm watching the obviously-3D "AquaHarp" on their website, and I remember seeing that, too, and which doesn't even make a pretense of realness -- WTF, maybe I wasn't sober that day? Still, I liked life better thirty minutes ago, when I was "sure" it was real.)

nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 07:34 (nineteen years ago) link

Sorry! Actually though, those pictures on the wikipedia page look really fake but I remember seeing a video that was passed around the web a few years back that looked much more convincing so maybe they did render out different versions. Of course really good weed is also a possibility here.

walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 08:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Black metal acapella band with blastbeatboxing.

moley, Sunday, 20 November 2005 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

A band that plays Black Sabbath-style cock rock that works as dance music. The name: Wolf Trucker.

acb (acb), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:56 (eighteen years ago) link

I've had TONS of ideas like this.

My friend and I were talking about a band that would play up that "creativity fueled on the animosity between rival members" cliche, and have a member of the Ku Klux Klan on drums and a member of the black panthers on guitar and lead vox.

Other ideas: A group called The Business Men who would all wear suits and sing songs about memos and stuff and would all play briefcases somehow...

...ohh and a friend and I were going to do a band on stage where we'd go through the entire archetypical bands career -- start out naive and idealistic, become challenging, learn to hate each other, go back to original sound, break up -- all within the span of one show that lasted 15 minutes.

33!!22, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 06:08 (eighteen years ago) link

I had an idea for a completely fictional boy/girl band whose entire history was planned out before them from first single to split, with several traumas in between. They start asthe most innocuous, colourful and fluffy band imaginable and by the end of course, one of them is on skag, another has started a Black metal side project, two of them have become gay and the last is dead. And it all turns out the band manager has been puppeteering them into oblivion to generate controversy and boost sales.

dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

A band that plays Black Sabbath-style cock rock that works as dance music. The name: Wolf Trucker.

-- acb (il...), November 28th, 2005.

is that a joke about wolfmother?

petesmith (plsmith), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 18:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe I'm dense, but "Black Sabbath = cock rock" makes no sense to me at all.

martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 16:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I still want to start a band and call it
                  
.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 17:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm putting all my money on STEED. The second album* should be called 'Galloping to Oblivion'.

*the first album is called 'We Are STEED', obv.

moley (moley), Thursday, 1 December 2005 03:35 (eighteen years ago) link

In a similar vein, I'd like to propose a metal band named Gauntlet who dress in tights and codpieces and doublets, and sing ornate songs about chivalry and jousting, alternating between madrigal-type acoustic stuff and HEAVY ROCKIN stuff when the lyrics turn around the subject matter of seeking the holy grail.

moley (moley), Thursday, 1 December 2005 03:38 (eighteen years ago) link

First album: 'I Challenge Thee to a Guitar Duel'

moley (moley), Thursday, 1 December 2005 04:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Moley - you ought to check out Rhapsody and Three Inches Of Blood and just about every power metal band ever.

dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 1 December 2005 14:14 (eighteen years ago) link

The Blind Carbon Copies

All the sing titles would be:

RE:Re:Fwd
Fwd:RE:
Fwd:Fwd:re:hello

and etc.

It'd be kinda bedroom math rock.

jel -- (jel), Thursday, 1 December 2005 18:42 (eighteen years ago) link

The Key Note Speakers

A kind of vocal harmony group, singing about boring office stuff.

jel -- (jel), Thursday, 1 December 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Make that happen, please.

Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 1 December 2005 21:20 (eighteen years ago) link

AC/CApella

AC/DC songs performed by vocal group, including human beatbox drums.

moley (moley), Friday, 2 December 2005 00:46 (eighteen years ago) link

The Art Wankers

The aim of this band is to impress readers of The Wire by any means necessary.

moley (moley), Friday, 2 December 2005 00:47 (eighteen years ago) link

A band called The Hey Hey Jump Up and Down. We'll sound just like whatever 70s or 80s band is being revived at the moment and pay off bloggers to hype our CD.

Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 4 December 2005 16:50 (eighteen years ago) link

The Invisibles have only mastered one song. John Cage's 4'33. Pure silence. The audience can hear only themselves clearing their throats and witnessing 'the band' 'onstage'. except the band's invisible - no one can actually SEE them.. in fact the 'gig' only starts when the audience is ready for it to begin. The ultimate in rock 'n roll mystique - no one knows at what point The Invisibles have actually left the building.

The Invisibles are going to rewrite Rock History by being the only band ever to book and 'play' coast to coast shows in every state in the U.S., every other country on earth and the Soviet Space Station ALL ON THE SAME NIGHT.

who's with me on this? You Can Fool All Of The People Some Of The Time - it's a fucking moneyspinner!

john clarkson, Sunday, 4 December 2005 18:03 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm warming to this. zero touring costs. all you have to do is book the show and get the promoter to wire you the money.

you could hook up as support to a major tour - no ego's, no bullshit, no soundchecks. this band would be the dream support for any self-respecting megagroop.

remember, The Invisibles are conceptual reprobates, constantly pushing the boundaries of iconoclasm and with it the audience's very perception of the nature of 'entertainment'. Paul Morley would be eating out of The Invisibles hand.

And why stop with the present and future? The Invisibles could claim any number of legendary scalps - co-headlining with Jimi at IOW, Live Aid '85, a permanent Radio 4 residency in between the shipping forecast and the pips - the possibilities are endless.

john clarkson, Sunday, 4 December 2005 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I have a stage name: Kel Surpreez.

moley (moley), Monday, 5 December 2005 06:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Given that is my name, what should my band be called and what would the music sound like?

moley, Monday, 5 December 2005 07:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The Invisibles sound suspeciously similar to a band that I've been managing for years now called The Awkward Pauses.

Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 5 December 2005 11:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Casuistry, wanna take another band on to your roster? The Invisibles need canny management like nothing else.

do The Awkward Pauses actually exist? bet they do. that's why The Invisibles are gonna wipe the floor with every other concept band out there.

Check this: The Invisibles set will consist of 'the band''playing' John Cage's 4'33" five times over (don't laugh, The Jesus And Mary Chain did this with 'Never Understand' and no one asked for their money back).

At some point during the show, some random bright spark a la Moley will pipe up through the Emperor's New Clothes silence: 'hang on! this is the most moronic bunch of art wank bollocks i've ever been unfortunate enough to experience.' the audience is sucked into the entertainment vacuum - cue mass stage invasion. Anarchy ensues. Ladies and Gentleman, the birth of A New Punk Rock.

Meanwhile The Invisibles slip off into the night. Their Work is done.

john clarkson, Monday, 5 December 2005 21:18 (eighteen years ago) link

When I was drunk a couple of weeks ago I thought it would be hilarious to start a twee-as-fuck matching-cardigan group with my wife called The Whale Appliques.

a better command of the mummy language (joygoat), Tuesday, 30 December 2008 06:05 (fifteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Guys I just started a cover band called MIXTAPE...we basically play whatever covers we want regardless of style or obscurity level that are possible w/ our instrumentation and are trying to incorporate tape related sfx into our live show.

We've also told our friends to make mixtapes for us to learn to play so when their birthdays come around we can play their MIXTAPE set.

GLEEPGLOP BLOOPBLORP (nickalicious), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 03:20 (fifteen years ago) link

by tape related sfx I mean like sudden record button release tape squiggles, pause/stop cracks etc

GLEEPGLOP BLOOPBLORP (nickalicious), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 03:21 (fifteen years ago) link

You have to also stop whatever song you are playing, 30 mins after starting your set, then start the next song, 20 secs later, minus the intro.

Mark G, Tuesday, 7 April 2009 11:30 (fifteen years ago) link

The PA stacks should be painted silver, with loads of fake speakers that look like real ones, but are just grilles with nothing behind them...

snoball, Tuesday, 7 April 2009 11:51 (fifteen years ago) link

thought i might start a metal band called OSMIUM

corps of discovery (schlump), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 13:03 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^actually quite a good idea

Super Cool Family Roots SEV-AAHN (country matters), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 13:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Bardcore - metal songs with Shakespeare as lyrics. Large codpieces. Problem is, someone's already done it.

snoball, Wednesday, 8 April 2009 09:54 (fifteen years ago) link

two years pass...

The Heavy Hitlers

Pop-Metal played by overweight dictatorial look-a-likes

I want your nose, your shoes and your unicycle (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 11:57 (twelve years ago) link

MC Onion. First single: "Rap Scallion"

Chewshabadoo, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 22:53 (twelve years ago) link

The American Smiths

congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 22:55 (twelve years ago) link

man, if i could stand the music of grateful dead enough to re-work the lyrics TREKKIN would be a moneymakin' ass project in these parts.

hoos i will start this sci-fi theremin metal band with you!

NZA, Wednesday, 25 January 2012 00:02 (twelve years ago) link

nine years pass...

Suburban London rapper MC Esher.

Van Halen dot Senate dot flashlight (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 20 June 2021 17:20 (three years ago) link

Band that hurls bottles of urine into the audience, in particular at British festivals such as the Reading festival, for failing to appreciate band's art to an acceptable degree. T

Deflatormouse, Saturday, 3 July 2021 14:21 (three years ago) link

They do not actually perform any music, mind you, just urinate into bottles and launch them at their congregation.

Deflatormouse, Saturday, 3 July 2021 14:25 (three years ago) link


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