Salesmen have stopped me from testing instruments and amps

At the big music store near where I used to live in Nashville, all I had to do was ask them to leave me alone for a bit, and they did. I dunno what age you're at that seems to make them act that way, but I was in my late 20s when I could ask nicely and get them to leave me alone.

I occasionally do it, but I really don't like buying guitars over the interweb. I would much rather play before I pay. Doesn't matter if it's pricey or cheap. With pricey guitars I mostly don't want to risk shipping damage or risk getting the one dud, and with cheap guitars I want to play every one in the shop until I find the one that made it through as a really playable nice guitar in spite of shitty quality control.

Instead of bitching about the quality of Mexican made Fenders, I'd rather spend a few hours playing them and find the one or two that play like guitars worth more.

I know at least once I was in there to compare a bunch of Fender's current tube amps (as of 2000 or whenever it was I was there), and I had to tell one guy "Look: I'm playing amps in this aisle right here, where the cheapest amp is around $900. If you leave me alone I will probably buy one of them right now, but if you don't I will likely order one online from another store when I get home."

The idea of buying new guitars online seems totally and completely bizarre to me, BTW. I'm the one who inspects and sets up everything that comes into the store, and I sure wouldn't want to buy some of it unseen.

I guess the short answer is find a local small store that you like, and stay the hell out of the large chain stores, which suck in all the ways everyone thinks they do.

I was at Guitar Center around Christmas with my wife showing her the guitar I wanted to get when a salesman behind the counter asked me if I wanted to play a Paul Reed Smith. When I replied "no," he said with nary a smirk nor hint of irony, "why not?"

One of my bandmates had the most awful experience at one of the ma & pa stores where he was trying to buy a Line 6 delay pedal. The exchange basically went like this:

Bandmate: Do you have any of the Line 6 delay pedals?
Swarmy Salesguy: How about this Boss?
B: It doesn't have the tapable function, so no.
S S: Sure it does! Just buy this additional pedal!
B: I don't want that, but thanks.
SS: Try it out, it's way better than the Line 6!
B: Aahhh! Let go of me!!!

Anyway, I feel kind of dirty for buying my amp at GC, but fuck it. No one else carried it.

As a woman, when I enter a guitar shop, I clearly become invisible. So a salesperson who could actually *see* me in order to help me out would be greatly appreciated.

(Actually, that said, there's one good place on Denmark Street who know me and my pedal fetish and are all "well, if you liked the Memory Man, try *this*".)

Sales Guy: Can i help you sir?
Me: i'm looking at 12 strings
Sales Guy: do you have a price in mind?
Me: well, no, i'm just kind of...
Sales Guy: Are you here to buy today or are you just looking?
Me: umm, just looking
Sales Guy: OK... try *this*

- pulls £1600 perfectly set up Taylor 12 string acoustic off wall, finds me a quiet corner and leaves me alone for a religious tone experience. this is what great service is about - aspirational, sell the fucking dream - i walked out of store with Taylor stamped across my consciousness that afternoon and if i'd had the cash i would have spent it right there and then.

Trade Up have also been very nice and helpful to me, but I have always bought weird fiddly stuff from them (tuning pegs, etc.) and I no zip diddly squat about pedals and amps -- it seems like it's the luck of the draw there.

Artichoke seems great for acoustic stuff. They were very helpful, patient and pleasant when I bought my uke.

I think the last time I was in the Clack it was to go to the Guitar Center!

Friend: (having played the guitar and decided he liked it) Nice, any chance of a discount for cash payment?

Guitar Shop Guy: *Grabs guitar from friend, unplugs it and tells him to get out of the store*

My friend, buys a similar guitar elswhere. Guitar shop looses a few hundred quid and a potential future customer.

I like the way you think.

Assistant : Can I help?
Me : Just looking to be honest, but maybe you can answer a question I have. What do you reckon to the Fender Samarium Cobalt Pickups?
Assistant : they're great.
Me : Do they change the sound of the tele much?
Assistant : Do you play a Tele?
Me : yes, a standard.
Assistant : Oh they're shit, you want to get a American De Luxe or a Japanese made ----- (can't remember what model).
Me : well I like my tele. It sounds great for what I do, but I just wouldn't mind fitting noisless pickups.
Assistant : Get a compressor.
Me: I've got one, but it adds in noise.
Assistant : Which one?
Me : A Boss CS-3.
Assistant : They're shit. Boss is shit altogether. You don't want to buy any of that digital shit. I've got ----(lists shitloads of Boutique pedals, Electroharmonix stuff etc etc)
Me: (getting pissed off). Well if money was no object we'd all have the best stuff, but I'm happy with my gear.
Assistant : What, you're happy with Boss?
Me: (losing it, but calmly). Listen, I asked about pickups and you've told me that all my gear is useless. See you later.

This is rare, but is an extreme form of an attitude that I've come across before. It's as if you *should* be aiming to sound like Dave Gilmour or something and only the top-of-the-range stuff will cut it. Alright, big money gear is maybe best whatever you play, for my punk and garage thrashing around, I can get by without.

Later on in the same day, In Andy's Guitar Workshop on Denmark Street. I'm in there with my 13-yr old son and he is goggling at a battered-up SG signed by The Who. Andy comes out from behind his desk - 'anything specific you're looking for'? Me : to be honest, I just wanted to pick-up a few bits and pieces for my son here, and have a look at the guitars. Andy : 'well you're both welcome to try any guitars in the shop, make yourself at home'. What a gent!

seriously Dr, what do you expect from central london?

yeah, Andy's is a gem nestling in the customer service turdpile of Denmark St. i'm convinced they pick their staff on a non-asshole rating.

I expected the usual crap service, but not spectacular ignorance of this kind. I didn't know there was a music shop below the megastore actually, not that I'll be going there again.

Andy's is the only place I've ever been to where the bloke at hte counter got annoyed because I didn't even try to haggle, and started offering me better and better deals - when I'd already agreed to buy it!

Kate: This Blue Box is great, how much?
Bloke At Counter: £xx
Kate: Great, I'll take it
BAC: But I can offer it to you for £yy
Kate: Even better
BAC: Oh yeah, and I'll chuck in a couple of connector cables for you...
Kate: Lovely!
BAC: Anything else you want?
Kate: I've already SAID I'll buy it!

Which one is Andy's again? We'll have to do a Denmark St-based FAP next time I'm in London, eh?

I don't understand the hatred for digital. If the shit sounds good and doesn't explode when you step on it too hard, it's a good pedal. If it sounds good but explodes when you step too hard, it's a good pedal for use in non-gigging situations. If it's digital, and it sounds good, it is good, innit?

That would be a cool FAP, come down!! Andy's is on the left near the bottom. You enter via a side door off a little alleyway.

Kate's story is great.

**Perhaps you should ask that asshat if the CS-3 really is a digital pedal or not... I bet he doesn't know the answer.**

What is the answer?

**I don't understand the hatred for digital. If the shit sounds good and doesn't explode when you step on it too hard, it's a good pedal. If it sounds good but explodes when you step too hard, it's a good pedal for use in non-gigging situations. If it's digital, and it sounds good, it is good, innit?**

OTM Martin! That's my view exactly. I am still utterly in love with my Blues Driver - that is one hell of a pedal. Sooooo smooth and mellow, but can really bite when you max the gain.

Another shop I like is Macaris - much better service there. I noticed that they're doing the Russian Big Muff for £49 and the USA Big Muff for £65. Are these decent prices? I had expected more.

Ok-ish. My Russian Big Muff was £40 from the norwich branch of Sound Control. However, it seems that their London branch is the pit of "spectacular ignorance" that you speak of. Shame, because the Norwich one is generally helpful and friendly.