etiquette with drummers

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anne landers didn't return my e-mail, so i thought i'd toss this out to ilX: is it bad etiquette to use a sub for your drummer if it's for a gig you don't absolutely need to play? will he begin harboring secret grudges and insecurities?

background: my band is just getting off the ground and we're all absurdly close friends...except for the drummer, who mainly knows us through one person and lives in a different part of town. the thing is, we'd like him to feel like part of the family, esp. because our whole songwriting process is very collaborative and depends on us all being excited to be around each other. we got invited to play a big fun party in a couple weeks, but our drummer will be out of town that weekend. we know another drummer who could step in pretty easily for the one gig, but i don't know if it's a bad precedent to set if we start acting like our main steez drummer can be replaced at the drop of a hat.

thoughts? opinions? catcalls?

― oohlala (Danjer), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:18 (nineteen years ago)

I am all about the amorphous band line-up, so I might not be the best person to talk about this. Still, it seems like you should ask him what you all should do. "Band meeting" type thing.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

If he can't do the gig, then of course you get a sub. That's standard.

Of course, make sure he knows about it, i.e. don't do the gig on the sly. Although no one likes to be shown up by a sub, he'll probably feel secure that he can skip a gig in a future emergency and you guys will be okay.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

And, ha, why is this just about drummers instead of all musicians?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

the answer to that question is so obvious i wont even say it.

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 27 February 2006 20:23 (nineteen years ago)

i too am all about the amorphous band line-up, i say sub him!

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 27 February 2006 20:23 (nineteen years ago)

drummers are the hardest band members to replace or sub

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 27 February 2006 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.beatles-museum.com/mediac/400_0/media/BeatlesAmsterdam1964.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 27 February 2006 21:29 (nineteen years ago)

I clearly have a passive-aggressive problem: my first thought was that you could spend an afternoon with your drummer going "gee, sure wish we could play that gig ... guess you won't be here, though ... oh well, that really sucks ..."

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 27 February 2006 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

But yeah, you should probably just ask, and go on a bit about how the band won't sound nearly as good without him, but it's just a party, so no big.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 27 February 2006 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://smd-records.com/Websites/TR-808/pics/Roland_TR-808.jpg

― senseiDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 February 2006 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

Definitely make sure it's cool with him if your band is a collaborative-type deal. If it isn't cool with him, he probably has some insecurity issues, but that's a separate matter.

If it was more of a single person or duo-led band then I don't think it would matter as much, like if it was "your band" you could get whatever the fuck drummer you wanted for whatever show.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Monday, 27 February 2006 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

When I was in a trio, my guitarist and I came dangerously close to booking some accoustic sets without our drummer (who didn't like to travel outside the county.) We dropped the idea when we considered that some audiences would think that we were trying to cop the Smothers Brothers.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 27 February 2006 22:24 (nineteen years ago)

the drum machine option is intriguing...

― oohlala (Danjer), Monday, 27 February 2006 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

We don't have a drum machine, you dork.

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, you guys are in the same band?

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

shhh.

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

MEOW

― the kit! (g-kit), Wednesday, 1 March 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

it was a cat call, you see?

― the kit! (g-kit), Friday, 3 March 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

roger that.

― oohlala (Danjer), Monday, 6 March 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

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