Stereotyping Ormskirk

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UpMyStreet has some interesting statistics on Ormskirk.
I particularly like:

Keeping up to date with developments in technology is very important to them, as is keeping fit through regular exercise. Not sure about the second part.

The Independent, The Times, The Guardian and The Financial Times all have readership levels well over 3 times higher than average.

Eating out is extremely popular here, particularly in the evenings. All types of cuisine except English are very popular, especially the more exotic types of restaurant such as Thai, Indonesian, Greek and Turkish.

All wines and spirits products are consumed much more heavily than average, but products which are particularly popular are port and gin. Yay! Port and Gin!

http://www.upmystreet.com/inf/msc/det/?l1=l39+4qd

― celeste (Celeste), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

This was fun! I have now learned everything I need to know about myself.

My stereotype is as follows :

It says I live in a very affluent commuter village in a remote rural area, average house price around half a million. It says I am probably a wine drinking, ale swilling, self-employed business professional who owns two cars and a dishwasher but no microwave. It says I like to holiday in strange and remote places, and I enjoy camping. Apparently I read The Telegraph or The Independent and don’t watch commercial television or take any notice of advertisements whatsoever. (I must be a Marketing Man’s nightmare)

It's highly likely that I own a greenhouse and go to the pub a lot. I probably also go sailing, windsurfing and rambling, visit stately homes and art galleries, and I’m almost certainly mad keen on archaeology.

I prefer fresh food and hardly ever purchase packaged/convenience foods, with the exception of dog food.

I am now worried that they are implying that I eat dog food.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Thats just modesty.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, because we have SO MANY Thai, Indonesian and Greek restaurants. The Turks have the lucrative Kofte market sewn up, natch.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Just because you're soley responsisble for the port stat. Just as Mackenzie is the reason why Gin is popular.

The rest of Ormskirk couldn't give a fig for Port and Gin.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

and you are the prime mover behind the astonishing percentage sales of vacuum-packed Space Tuna

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine says of Turnpike Lane:

These highly cosmopolitan neighbourhoods contain a mix of rich and poor and people from different ethnic backgrounds living side by side. The age profile of these neighbourhoods peaks in the 25-44 group. There are also above average levels of 0-4 year olds and 15-24 year olds, but 40% fewer than average over 65 year olds. There are above average proportions of single person households, especially single non-pensioners, and households with 6 or more members, but below average proportions of household sizes in between these two extremes. Ethnically, these are very mixed areas. The proportion of the population who are black is over 10 times the average, and there are also above average proportions of people from Asian ethnic groups.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

And this, which is confusing:

Freezer ownership is below average, though consumption of frozen beefburgers is extremely high.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

True story: My father whilst out on food shop for the family marched straight though every useful isle of consumables straight to the freezer section and proceeded to pick up a 5 kg bag of ice cubes, as they began there entertaining journey down the conveyer belt, past the nicotine gum and plastic shit chews, he sparked up a conversation with the checkout girl.
“I wouldn’t normally buy these” he defended “But whenever I make them at home I get a strange scum at the top of my booze after they’ve melted”

True to their customer satisfaction guarantee the girl then added, “Well if you have any problems with those, just bring them back”

― Robin (RJM), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

And that's why she was working at Tesco.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Your father also told me he'd taken a shit in the middle of the floor at my workplace. This turned out to be a lie.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Or was it one of Kens sausages?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It was actually at Safeways that the incident took place, I prefer to shop at Ye’Olde Cove where rows of tinned fish are labeled in Chaucer English. Their jars of Cranberry Snails are also excellent as are their selection of meats which includes a parliament of fowls.

― Robin (RJM), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The Grouse Assembly pie is particularly distinctive, carrying as it doess overtones of rotten borough. But the connoisseur rushes to snatch up the limited supplies of "Shitte Fishe That Tastes Like Mudde", then throw it at the urchins who clamour winsomely outside.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I much prefer the 'Shitte Fishe That Tastes Like Shitte' it's got a better texture.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Friday, 2 May 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

quick technical question -- when you stereotype, do you actually use two machines with keyboards ganged by lolly tongs or something OR do you cheat and type the same thing twice on a single machine??

― hurley (hurley), Friday, 2 May 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I get my twin to type at precisely the same speed, a skill we have developed over several years of stereotyping

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember one Christmas we stereotyped my Aunt as a raddled old lush who couldn't get laid on a bet. How we all laughed.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

then my dad slept with my aunt

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

so the joke was on us, really

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

or perhaps on your father?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Saturday, 3 May 2003 08:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Depends how much the bet was for, probably.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 3 May 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

about a fiver, I think.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 3 May 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Was that a fiver in old money? Or was it one of these new-fangled Euro thingies?

― C J (C J), Sunday, 4 May 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Old Money. Definitely. My Aunt held "views" on such matters.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 5 May 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard your aunt hold forth on her tuppence many a time.

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

It was my father holding forth on her tuppence which was the problem.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you know that Jeffrey Archer's boyhood nickname was Tuppence?

― Rex (Rex), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW? *sobs violently*

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

OH GAWD!

Now I'm crying too and I don't even know what the hell you are talking about!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

*sob* thanks man *sob*

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

*beats* hey Mr. DJ *beats*

(I'm in the Met Bar with my chums)

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Admit it, you're in the windmill. And your chums consist entirely of "Mad Peter" and the bloke who chases people with hamers.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

hamers?

I thought it was scredrivers.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

No it was chisls

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Your al ga

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't touch thi wit a for.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 8 May 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Do English people know what eating out means?

― Sean3 (Sean3), Sunday, 12 October 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

For me, going to Le Frog and ordering a starter with black pudding in it.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 17 October 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

For me going to lincoln and eating at a Michelin starred restaurant in one of the oldest buildings in western europe, why d'you ask Seany?

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 17 October 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I knew. Don't tell me--they serve very expensive food such as glorified slugs and pig intestines there, right? Actually, I agree wtih Matt and Lynskey; I could go for a $4.99 "Starter and Catalyst" combo myself. Nothing like eating car parts for dinner. Some eating out, I assume.

I guess it's not quite as bad as say, the MAD COW SCARE that's occured in Europe some two years ago (maybe a bit longer.. it's been a while). What's better, eating a piece of aluminum car part or eating a piece of diseased cow? You can't get germs from something with a molecular structure so tough you can't even chew it; yet you can from a previously living animal.

Hey, Matt--Pirelli makes for some less rubbery tires. Gotta try them out sometime. (I do, and they work wonders for all four of my stomaches and my chevy sitting in the garage.)

― Eric Lynch (Lynch), Saturday, 18 October 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember when I were nobbut a wean, crying in fear and dookin' fer t'cows playin' t'banjo, and flyin in t'formation, and jettin' out t'smoke, naw naw that twere red arrows...

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 20 October 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

T'went ringly y'p'ne'did nat yintin' t'tut Bickerstaffe.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cenedra.com/twinpeaks/chara/leland.jpg

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

If that’s the plat du jour, I reckon I’ll stick to cottage cheese and salad.

― Rex (Rex), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;"

Aarrgghh!
This is getting silly!

*leaves stage, unaware of lapel mic., blows nose, farts, returns to stage.*

Now! What was that last question? Something about the velocity upon impact of a small mammal dropped from an airliner at 30,000 feet? Let's ask our expert on inertia: Rex? You have the floor...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

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