Comedy Playground.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Right. That's it. You morose sods. It has come to my attention that the once-gay pages of AAD have become somewhat embourbées by plain old-fashioned nuts-and-bolts, bread-and-butter discussion. I really, really think that there needs to be a playground area for people to submit their eccentricities and/or home-grown humourisms.

I would like to kick-start this thread with a few of my own witticisms and colourful puns, but, frankly, I have forgotten them all. Every last quip that I was once proud of tongularly crafting, they're all gone. I could make some fresh ones, but I think they would pale into insignificance alongside the barrage I know we will soon be seeing here. So I shan't. Oops, I lied. I have just remembered one that I well remember leaving on the toilet door in Bangor University: "If Eric Clapton is God, how come the Israelites got manna and not cocaine?"

I think that will do to set the ball rolling. Knock yerseltz out...

England expects...

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Alright, not THE toilet door in Bangor University... just A toilet door. I'm not trying to make out that Bangor University is deficient in that respect. And also I wasn't trying to make out that my suggestion was particularly funny. It was just something that sprung to mind as I was typing. I know Matt has far funnier things to contribute. And that's just the descriptions of what's under his bed.

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I just bought a car. Not a big car; I bought a Ford Fiesta Ghia. So it's quite nice inside, wot, with its CD player and aircon and remote central locking. What is really pissing me off though is that - despite having only owned this thing for one week - all the birds of the air seem to use this thing as target practice.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad, but for the fact that apparently this 'shit happens' kinda extends to my postings on AAD. I am well aware that, initially, some hackles were raised by my migration here (put those hackles down, you aggressive sods), but I am an integrist ... and I cannot but feel violated now. There I was, with my very own question and everything, feeling mighty pleased with myself ... and who should come along, like a Stuka-crazed woodpigeon with a payload of crap...?

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Lynskey?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 5 May 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Au contraire: I spy strangers... although I wouldn't put it past the razor-sharp intellect of any of you to invent a bête noire to draw the scent of a bumpkin loike I.

― Pooster (pooster), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, yes. Bumpkin Loike I. I remember him. Unlike Bumpkin Loike II or that (can I say it?) Bumpkin Loike III (I spit on the floor) that bastard the Great Man inadvertanly spawned, he was a prince among Men (and women too, wink, wink, nod, nod, take my meaning?). I remember His good self as if it were yesterday. Lying in the gutter, I was, and he, Bless Him and All That Is Holy, stepped out of his favorite pub, fetched his Blessed Member from His trousers and commenced to urinate and when He saw me lying there...DIRECTED IT AWAY FROM ME! Even though I couldn't spell 'wherewithall' or even think of the word, I had enough of it to recognize a superior being.

Ah, yes. Bumpkin Loike. They broke the mold when when they made him.

I'm crying now. And my monkey's upset.

Damn you, Pooster!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.