This is the thread where those of you who are or have been A ROBOT out yourselves

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I'm one! Where the hell are the rest of you?

― The Terminator (Lynskey), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm one too, but I have been stored for many years in a garden shed with a leaky roof, and consequently the damp has made me go a bit rusty round the edges. It's difficult to type when you're all seized up like this.

Thanks for asking, though.

(Pass the WD40, would you?)

― C J (C J), Thursday, 10 July 2003 07:37 (twenty-three years ago)

why are there no fat robots??

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 10 July 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Because all metal are athletes.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 10 July 2003 23:10 (twenty-three years ago)

As Lynford could have said: "Postive Metal Attitude".

― Pooster (pooster), Friday, 11 July 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Here you are....

Oh! Sorry CJ! When you said WD40, I thought you meant "Vic rub"!

Anyway, what the heck. It smells marginally better, and isn't so destructive toward latex. And, applied liberally to a bicycle, it doesn't incommode the trousers with so much sputum.

― Pooster (pooster), Friday, 11 July 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Hurley - C3PO was a bit portly. But in principle, I agree: why aren't ther any fat robots? I would like to put forward that a more hearty a girth, the more processing power. At least, that's how it would be on my planet: on the planet of skinny people, the hearty-girthed robot (ie me) is king.

― Pooster (pooster), Friday, 11 July 2003 22:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Always with the Star Wars.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:25 (twenty-three years ago)

In fact, for the record, I don't give a monkeys about Star Wars. When he spilled wine all over me, my mate deliberately gave me a Star Wars tee shirt to wear, just so that I would squirm.

― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Was it impregnated with acid?

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 12 July 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

No, no it wasn't.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Sunday, 13 July 2003 01:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I was one of the earliest robots; in fact I’m the only remaining half-timbered robot with original canvas bodywork still intact. If you get my charcoal burner up and running I can perform a range of simple actions such as falling over, looking unsightly and calculating whose round it is (as long as it isn’t mine). I was only intended as a prototype but unfortunately my inventor committed suicide by hammering tent pegs into his scalp in 1903, since when I’ve been forced to earn my living as a novelty act in non-erotic cabaret.

― Rex (Rex), Sunday, 13 July 2003 17:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Roll up roll up one and all, men and boys, boys 2 men, young and old and really fucking old and old and young, men and men and men. SEE a variety of simple tasks performed GASP due to the fact that I'm draining oxygen from the tent, suckers..

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 14 July 2003 00:03 (twenty-three years ago)

(original typo read "boys 21 men" which I laughed about for five minutes or so, then corrected)

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 14 July 2003 00:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Can girls not have a look, then?

― C J (C J), Monday, 14 July 2003 14:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Only in France under the safe supervision from a marine.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 14 July 2003 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

(A US marine, no less)

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 14 July 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

By the way, CJ, you, as the only wholly committed girly AADster, get unlimited access to 'have a look' at whatever you may wish to 'look' at. I'm not promising that you will be amazed, or even delighted. But you will not be physically repugned, and there may be something to write about on your 'men are all dickheads' forum that you try to keep so secret from this malearchy that is Ask a Drunk. None of us is weird, you know... apart from Rex. And how weird can a disembodied brain in a glass jar of Pernod solution get, I ask you?

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 14 July 2003 23:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I know that CJ's education has prepared her for a goodly amount of what life has to offer. Even so, Pooster, I think that you are being a tad hopeful about both the lack of repugnance and indeed weirdness. Are you trying to worm, and I use the word advisedly, your way into CJ's dark and unruly heart? Have you no etchings, man?

Take your point about Rex, though. I always saw him as a Scotch type, but I quibble.

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 15 July 2003 21:03 (twenty-three years ago)

On Ask a Drunk? Stop it at once.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 00:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, I meant dribble

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 06:49 (twenty-three years ago)

That's better. Now someone give me a Singapore Sling

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 07:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Here's a Singapore Sling.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 12:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish to show off at this point and mention that I have sipped a Singapore Sling in Singapore. In the bar of Raffles Hotel, no less.

I am an international jet-setter, an experienced woman of the world, and therefore I am quite certain that I would be neither amazed nor delighted by anything you gentlemen might wish to offer for my close scrutiny (it would have to be close scrutiny, mind, due to my dreadful myopia).

Just don't frighten me with any sudden movements, okay?

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 13:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Matt, that means you. No "marquee behaviour"

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 17 July 2003 11:54 (twenty-three years ago)

If only I could remember how to define the bloody parameters I would have had "wouldn'tr dream of it" bouncing back and forth across the screen in a comedy manner, but I really can't be arsed.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 17 July 2003 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I find myself curiously disappointed, Matt.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 July 2003 17:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I find Matt curiously disapointing.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I find disappointment curious.

― Pooster (pooster), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I find curiousness to be a drab and wasteful sin that I could long live without.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, that's why you wear that T-shirt with "I'm curious" on it all the fucking time.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought it said 'bi-curious'. I really should get my eyes tested.

― C J (C J), Friday, 18 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

It's all that being curious.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"I thought it said 'bi-curious'. I really should get my eyes tested."

Robin to Thailand... I mean thread.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 10:23 (twenty-three years ago)

You're just saying that because this thread will have sunk into obscurity by the time he gets back. I am now making it my mission to keep this thread alive.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 23:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to see you try, college boy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
wait a minute...

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:23 (twenty-three years ago)

a-HA!

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Stop doing that.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Boing

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 31 July 2003 00:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Boom

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 31 July 2003 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Stand clear

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Thursday, 31 July 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

You're just saying that because this thread will have sunk into obscurity by the time he gets back. I am now making it my mission to keep this thread alive.

You didn't try awfully hard, didja Matt?

Did Robin ever return from Thailand? Was he kidnapped and held hostage, forced to work as a rent boy in the bars along Pattaya beach? Did he accidentally dip himself in paint and discover a whole new career, modelling as the statue of the golden buddha? Enquiring minds ~~and mine~~ need to know.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

He's back, older, wiser and just as hapless, he's now sporting a wonderful new coat which can only be described as "ethnic".

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you sure the new coat is not simply body hair grown wild?

― MSW (MSW), Thursday, 7 April 2005 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it was at some point.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 April 2005 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I wondered why he never took it off, even at the pool.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 7 April 2005 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought what a fabulous idea it would be for men to paint their feet dark blue. Think of the money you'd save on socks.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 7 April 2005 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

While we're at it, the ladies could just paint on their stockings. Come to think of it, why doesn't la gent féminine just paint on all their clothes?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 7 April 2005 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I LOVE that idea! I've got the body paint franchise here.

Key West is SO far to drive.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 7 April 2005 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Key West! Hmmm. Good idea. We can use the exterior paint they use on boats. It'll wear longer

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Varathane varnish, that's the ticket. Works as a sun-blocker allowing fuller exposure without those silly colours or clothing.

( I recommend a full body shave for dark haired women. I provide that service free prior to the varnish job.)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

IT'S IN NEW ANSWERS WITH A BULLET NOW, PARKER!

MACKENZIE'S COMING ROUND AND HE'S PISSED!

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 1 July 2005 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Did somebody buy you a megaphone, Matt?

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 July 2005 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

YES, YES THEY DID

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

WHY???

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Sssshh. They bought him a funnel, but he doesn't know how to use it.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

WHAT?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 July 2005 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

He said, "They're not in the bummel, but we daren't show cows to Hazlitt." I found this quite peculiar, but didn't want to draw attention to it.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 7 July 2005 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Que?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 7 July 2005 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

He said, "They're not in the bummel, but we daren't show cows to Hazlitt." Get your ear trumpet recalibrated for heaven's sake.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 7 July 2005 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

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