The Face of Our Founder

Indeed! (said in the voice of Lopan from "Big Trouble in Little China")

As our honourable Rex has done fantastic work at creating The Beardsley Gallery. I shall attempt to make a better effort at re-instating the original Ask a Drunk pages. There are 420 of them, and I've made 69 of them readable.

I hereby give you all permission to kick me up the arse to get it done.

Yours sincerely

Celeste
(Idling Ormskirk Finder of Ask-a-Drunk)

And lovely lovely girlie

I am awestruck that you’ve managed sixty-nine, as the actress – oh, forget it. But well done.

In fact the Beardsley Gallery may not be visible for all that long, as I’m having a minor crisis of conscience about it. Gawp now, or possibly never.

Oh don't worry about ... if he's never found Ask A Drunk again, he's not likely to find the Beardsley Gallery either.

Or you could go all ILX an refer to it as the B*ardsl*y Gallery.

fear the google

do not fear it, embrace it, for it is your friend.

The face of our Flounder

http://www.aquariumfish.net/images_01/flounder.jpg

That's mostly it's back, to be fair.

No need to start carping on about it though

Oh for Cod's sake, you're Skate-ing on thin ice with that pun.

Bass off

Are you hard of herring? He said bass off.

as is always the case with this forum, it's brain versus prawn

Monkfish

You're dab hands at this, no trout about it.

"Eel get you my pretty, and your little dogfish too!"

This is giving me a terrible haddock.

Breem

Minnow.

Goat. Big fucking goat.

Zeppelin. Tiny tiny Zeppelin.

I have no funny fish puns. I only just visited the Beardsley site and wanted to tell you that it slew me. Okay enough with that bull crap. Slew, who says that? I'm a fraud. A damb fraud. I try to be witty and junk like you well versed English bastards but I'm not and I can't. I only imitate your style and rhythm because I luv you man/men/womenesses. (Notice the "luv", a lesser implementation of "love", lest you get too horny for ol' rudie.)

I guess I've always luved AAD and always will. It's like you guys are the novel that I've been wiating for my whole life -- the one that doesn't disappoint because it never has to end.

You know, there are more illiterate low brow mucky mucks like me out there that would read your thoughts on a daily basis. The Onion and The Toque and the like are barely worthy to hold the collection of your sweat stained cyber jock straps/sports bras.

Anyway, I've had a bit much tonight. I think someone filled my bottle of Jack with cough syrup. I drank it anyway. So, until we meet sometime mid morning Monday, I'll leave you with this most famous movie line that basically sums up my feelings for you all

"Good night Ask A Drunk. Good work. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

PS - Please don't kick me out. Where will I go? Besides, I share common bonds with AAD's founder and, for lack of a better word "Holy Man". Like our founder/"Holy Man" I am a Linux/*NIX administrator with several highly rated performance evaluations under his belt. However, I hate computers and am quite a bit more attractive than Beardsley. You mustn't tell him I said that. Damb there I go again trying to sound like one of you educated bastards.

Educated? Me? Hahahahahaha

You may not be educated, but you sure is smart. I can tell.

No. Really. Seriously, I can. Just by your wit. It is a key sign of intelligence you know. And it is not unattractive. (A very long time ago, as a "newbie" and when I was not sure of his gender, I fell in luv with Aimless. The way what he writes reads so effortlessly and all. Let's just keep that lil' tidbit between us, shall we?)

But, back to the subject...

Thus, I, in gloriously ignorant splendor, in the matter of an evening, have proven beyond shadow of all doubt, dispatching previously inafllable schoolground certainty, that it does not take one to know one.

(If any of the words above do not seem familar, please realize that my true native tongue is broken Klingon. Parents. Big fans of Star Trek. Huge.)

If you can guess whether, when I wrote "inafllable" above, I meant "inaffable" or "infallible" I will pay you the right tidy sum of two squid and four hotdog buns. (Don't laugh. I read that a certain miracle worker once fed ten thousand on such portions.)

I'm really going to hell.

It's not too late to switch that to "ineffable", you know. The pay is a bit lower, but there's more room for advancement.

Now as for hell, there is a subject to warm my heart. It deserves its own thread, though. I think I'll go start one this very minute.

Wow, I had no idea

You and the rest of us, mate.

I had an idea once. It had to do with dolfins and waterproof harmonicas and...Oh...Wait...

That wasn't me.