Britain is being invaded from underneath by cocoa powder

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So there I was, perusing this story : -

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/reviews/3103697.stm

What seems like a harmless review actually contains alarming news for all us Britons . . . .

"Once it started raining on Saturday afternoon it just got heavier and heavier, sending people running for the beer tent and turning the pathways into liquid chocolate"

I, for one, am scared shitless.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:56 (twenty-three years ago)

So.....You don't like chocolate?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 28 July 2003 23:09 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.landofchocolate.net/images/nloclogo.jpg

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Bring straws.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 10:26 (twenty-three years ago)

See, Zen, see how this pernicious substance already has you under it's evil spell?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:21 (twenty-three years ago)

.....sending people running for the beer tent and turning the pathways into liquid chocolate

And how exactly is this a Bad Thing?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

the main problem appears to be straw prioritisation-which do you drink first?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

A dilemma indeed. Both are ace.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Fools FOOLS! Can you not see it has you in it's grip?

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 23:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Simply procure 2 straws one of average length, one larger than average. Use the common staw to sup the delicious frothy beer and the other to hoover up the molten chocolate.

Alternatively use the beer to get girls drunk enough to wrestle in the chocolate.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:30 (twenty-three years ago)

So there are these two brothers, Robbie and Torquil. Robbie is a streetwise lad about town, Torquil suffers from a severe form of autism, which forces him to obsess over the word "harlequin". One day Robbie takes Torquil out for a walk through the fair which has conveniently come to town, hoping to gain the approval of carnival girls who appreciate the care he takes of his brother. As they stroll through the bustling arena Robbie chats away. "See that clown Torquil?" he says, gesturing to an elegant Frenchman with a drink problem and an astounding act.
"Harlequin" replies Torquil
"Damn right Torquil" says Robbie, and gestures at a fairground ride based on Dr Quinn. Medicine Woman, wherein fourscore MERRY PUNTERS rode Seymour replicas astride "hogs".
"Harlequin" replies Torquil.
"Can't fault you Torquil" says Robbie, appreciating a thigh with his expert view. Feeling magnanimous, he decides to buy Torquil a snack. "What would you like Torquil?" he asks "candyfloss? a burger?"
"Harlequin" replies Torquil. Robbie stops and thinks for a second.
"That's your answer for everything" he says.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I shall never post to this forum again.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 31 July 2003 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

But how will you congratulate me on my five identical children born in an exclusive london clinic on Weymouth Street?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 4 August 2003 12:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I won't. It didn't happen.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

But they call you "Uncle Matt"

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 7 August 2003 10:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought it was "Uncle Fuck"

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Matt - Fuck, what's the difference?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:54 (twenty-three years ago)

About fifty quid an hour.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

There once was a naked boy from da hood,
This young boy he was up to no good.

He went to the store,
lie down on the floor,
and prepared to have a mat-fuck.

The boy hunched and he squirmed,
Completely burning his worm,
as smoke plumed from his singed pubic tussock.

― rudeboy, Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

chavs should die, so should 'tha hood'

― wendy clear, Saturday, 20 August 2005 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

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