Why Should I Ask A Drunk?

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Here I am losing my Ask A Drunk virginity. I hope you don't callously leave me in the morning. I don't really understand how it works, and I don't feel that comfortable asking a drunk anything because I'm usually drunk myself, and hence I may as well answer my own questions.

But still. I am going to say that I mysteriously know of both the Mr Corrin and Mr Greenwood to which you refer.

Oh, and I've categorised this under hatpins. I'm not sure why. It was a frivolous decision.

― Woodbine, Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

There is no reason to ask, and certainly no reason to answer. There is, however, a reason to drink. Britain. Look at it. It's horrible.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all in the blend.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree that Britain is as good a reason as any to drink. But perhaps more pressing is the fact that I'm shackled, The White Stripes appalling cover of 'I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself' (I do - fuck off) is on the radio, and I only have a day to live.

― Woodbine, Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

In that order?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Yep. The White Stripes cover comes midway between shackling and death.

― Woodbine, Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, if I only had a day to live I can't think of a better place to spend it than Ask a Drunk. No, on reflection I can think of many better places. I advise going and getting drunk. Oh no, shackles, you say? Clearly screaming for help is your strongest option here, then.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I was making a bit of a fuss about the shackles, really. I've found it easier than I suspected to adapt to even the most complicated of tasks. Some are even facilitated, such as chastity, which was always difficult for me before. Yep, I could feasibly crawl down the corridor. Is this place, like, a 24 hour service? Are there drunks on hand 24 hours a day to answer my questions? I see some people are asking them for the definition of 'clitorus'(sic). Taking this to be a loose derivative of 'clitoris', I can safely say that it appears to be the last thing on the mind of most drunk males, if experience is anything to go by.

― Woodbine (Woodbine), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

No, no and no. And drunk men think about chess. At least they do around here.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and expect things to turn into a Saki novel at any given time.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, so the dead eyed stare of the bus station alcoholic isn't in fact a sign of meditation on the crushing irony of life, but a quiet contemplation of the Knight's capturing of the Rook, in the manner of Nigel Short (who apparently is quite tall, really).

This is another thing I never knew about men. Being a girl, and depending on which way it's going, I tend to either think about kittens, or how thoroughly pathetic my life is. Before dancing to Gloria Gaynor.

― Woodbine (Woodbine), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

If it were not for alcohol, pathos would be the lifeblood of this bunch.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 8 August 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Personally, I love all the Muskerhounds.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I insist on bathos. Pathos gives me a rash. On the other hand, Mintos can be used to mask the residual odor of a pathetic binge. I usually don't bother, as I don't have a bint.

― Aimless, Friday, 8 August 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I jeth read that wonth and developed a lisph.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 8 August 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

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