Breaking News!

Lynskey? What can I say? Good luck, I guess. If your dead, dessicated body happens to float down to Erewhon and I find it, I'll put it on the mantel...next to my late monkey.

GOD BE WITH YOU!! *serious tears*

I very much doubt God'll be with him. His stated aim is to find God and "kick his head in."

I have settled for simply building a balloon twenty-five miles high which I intend to inflate and fly to space all the while remaining seated in Ormskirk's Coronation Park, feeding ducks and readng a volume of light verse.

I'm packing my special boots that Jim got me from the BigBoot Beatique in sexy, fashionable Brighton. God's getting one in the kidneys.

I'm going to build a 100 mile across kite with a picture of me on it and fly it over Coronation Park.

Give him one in the dave from me.

(this was originaly meant to say "Give him one in the face from me" but I like "in the dave")

That 50 Cent single?

Funnily enough, this is the second time, I think, that I have posted this on AAD, but not in its present incarnation. This is a valediction for those foolhardy fools... may you touch God soon. And ask him what the perfect recipe for mayonnaise is while you're at it.

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

John Gillespie Magee, Jr.

*Sob* *sniff* That was *sniff* fucki'n BEAUTIFUL, man!

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted Just an earth-bound misfit, I

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone

A soul in tension that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, A state of bliss
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the Lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dog-fish
Chased by a cat-fish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal
HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!