I poke you now

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Stuff the eggman. I am the poker.

― Aimless, Monday, 8 September 2003 21:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I am the walrus.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 8 September 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Koo koo a chue.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 00:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Bless you.

You might need to see a Doctor about that cold.

Of course self medication is alot more fun............

― Ðµdë §téè£, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 00:33 (twenty-three years ago)

the original eggman died in 1967 & was replaced by an inferior "lookalike" eggman

― unknown or illegal user (doorag), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 00:50 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a little known fact, that with the proper dosage of blissium, common bacteria and viruses become sentient and evolve to become university librarians, thus freeing the feeble human from an onslaught of outragious snot.

This, of course, has nothing to do with this thread but hey, what the hell would?

Oh...wait...eggman...poker...I got it!

Nevermind.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

"the original eggman died in 1967 & was replaced by an inferior "lookalike" eggman"

He was very bald and very white...but was anyone really fooled?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a pukka wallet with pokerwork designs. In it I keep the pronged horn of a pronghorn antelope I won in a manly game of stud. With my prong I prod thee, thou pulicose eggheads, thou pellets of cack. Arise! Cast away thy crutches and crachets. Sing again as the cricket sings, by friction. Arise, cracked eggmen and be fractious and fictitious. Rejoyce! At least get off yer mold-green duffs and tumble a bit.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a nice leather suite. It's green.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you wear it for interviews?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 20:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Have you ever...you know...poked?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 20:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Since no-one is actually really terribly keeping to the strict boundaries of this thread, can I just ask: what, really, is the meaning of "Oliver's Army"? A synopsis will do, although something really profound would probably go more of the way to explaining it. I dunno.

― Pooster (pooster), Wednesday, 10 September 2003 21:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Something to do with mercenaries, I think. Or it could be to do with that old joke about

"where's Oliver's army?"

"Up his sleevey"

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 10 September 2003 22:14 (twenty-three years ago)

"Up his sleevey" indeed!

I'll have you know, young lady, that "Oliver's Army" was one of the most decorated and elete band of fighting men ever forgotten.

Their shared disdain of noisey, smelly obnoxious modern weaponry led to their adaptation of kitchen tools as combat weapons. A spatula in skilled hands meant certain death for the enemy. Stainless steel tongs would make any spy talkative. They were the most feared and respected unit of...

Oh...Wait...Did you mean Oliver with a twist?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 11 September 2003 01:12 (twenty-three years ago)

No, no, no, no! The elite fighting force with the batterie de cuisine are Jamie Oliver's army.

The bloke who was in the TV advert in the 1970s singing about being a Secret Lemonade Drinker - that was Elvis Costello's dad, you know. I'm a mine of useless information.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 11 September 2003 04:53 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.musicomh.com/luke2.jpg

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 11 September 2003 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

the Oliver in question was of course Mr Cromwell, hero of our time (and indeed of the 17th century).

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Friday, 12 September 2003 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I have been trying to teach an elephant seal to fetch my slippers. The torpor of this wretched beast is so pronounced I fear it may have slipped into a coma. If it dies in the front hallway I shall be forced to take measures. Does anyone have a measuring tape I could borow?

― Aimless, Saturday, 13 September 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a wheel which clicks by the metre available for a reasonable hourly rent.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 14 September 2003 12:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think anyone is going to be all that interested in hiring a 1973 Ford Escort with a stone lodged in it's tyre tread, even if it does have a whiplash aerial, fluffy dice and go-faster stripes.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 14 September 2003 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah!

I'll bet it's just as accurate as one of your snooty, snooty English cars! I know that when I ran over my brother with MY old Ford, The odometer showed 5'4" and when we measured him we found that it was EXACTLY RIGHT!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 14 September 2003 22:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Aimless, are you sure it's an elephant seal? Could it, by some chance it could be a walrus trying to "pass"? Walruses are famous for their mastery of inertia and are sometimes mistaken for dead. If, what you have, is, indeed a walrus, it could be basking in the reality that there are no Eskimos around. If you would, for instance, hire an Eskimo housekeeper, I'll bet your seal/walrus would shape up in a hurry.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi guys!

Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, n'est ce pas!

I've brought some of my alias/aliens with me, BTW, but stringent intergalactic budget cuts mean that we now have to pay for all non-cheese-related internet activity out of own meagre income.

Fermented lactose products and cheers from the Cheesemeister.

― The Cheesemeister, Monday, 15 September 2003 20:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, "Cheesemeister", and I don't believe for a minute that you are really the ledgendary Cheesemeister, things have changed since "your" last visit. The entire south wing has been remodeled. CJ happened to be in charge of that and consequently everything in that area is pink and fuzzy except for the "special room". We don't know what's in there but when the carpenter finally came out, he was red-faced and breathing hard. Matt was in charge of the landscaping and I must say it is beautiful, even if some of the trees are upside-down. Lynskey...Well Lynskey went down into the cellar and was screaming something about finding a time portal on the north wall and hasn't been seen since. hurley? who knows. Rex is somewhere on the grounds, his Mensan metaphors coagulating into mystical musings unappreciated by the lower 98 because of his lack of common terms such as "shit" and "fuck". I, Zen Clown, offered to sweep the drive but they wouldn't trust me with a broom.

(I've been snorting Velveeta for 4 months now.)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 23:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Cheesemeister, mon vieux, we have yearned, hankered, nay, hungered for you. I do hope you won’t mind if I extend my tongue, thus, and maybe nibble at you slightly, comme ça? That’s the stuff. Which of us here at AAD can rival your unique personal flavour? Now if you’d just direct me to any bodily components you don’t anticipate using in the future…

― Rex (Rex), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Have some crackers.

― Do you see what I did there? (Matt), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 00:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Thank you, don't mind if I do.

― Very Polite Person (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 02:38 (twenty-three years ago)

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